Hurtful Words: Past and Present
by RabidAnimeGurl
Summary: COMPLETE: Things that shouldn't have been said are said. Rin disappears, Sesshoumaru doesn't bother to find her. Years later, he resumes his search with his brother. What does she have that they want? Answers for past and present actions revealed. Plz R
1. The Past: Chapter 1

  
**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Past**   
_Chapter 1_

  
They walked along the horizon, the sun slowly setting on their right. It cast an orange-ish silhouette around them, making them appear as if they were an illusion as waves of heat danced around them. Though it was setting, the sun beat upon them roughly, offering them no comfort on the calm summer day. The humidity in the air allowed their clothing to stick to their sweat licked skin. And yet they continued to walk across the open field where there were little trees to offer shade. They stopped only when the smallest figure collapsed to the ground, surely of exhaustion and dehydration. 

"Get up Jaken." Sesshoumaru turned, slightly curious to see how Rin was fairing since the toad youkai obviously could take no more. 

Rin was sprawled across Ah Un's back, equally exhausted. She lifted her head with much effort and peered at Jaken. "Jaken-sama, daijoubu?" 

"I'm dying you idiot! I'm slowly being cooked in this heat! I shall make a fine meal for you tonight..." Jaken lay on his stomach with the side of his face planted weakly into the ground. 

"Jaken." 

The toad youkai cringed at the sound of his Lord's angry voice. Fearing for what was left of his life, Jaken pried himself from the ground and followed after the already departing Sesshoumaru. 

He could sense them closing in, the hordes of youkai that had began to gather in the distance. He could smell them, those filthy bat youkai. In his minds eye he could see them hovering in the sky with their fangs protruding from their awkwardly shaped lips. Their beady eyes would be glazed over from blood lust, from the hunger of potentially gaining more power. There was other lesser youkai slithering across the ground, eager to help rid the world of a more powerful and feared youkai. 

As if he, Lord Sesshoumaru, would be defeated. 

He would deal with them shortly. But first, he must put Rin out of harms way. The child, now nine years of age, had grown to mean quite a bit to him over the past three years. Only now, though still reluctantly, did he admit it. She was like a daughter to him and as such, he provided her with the finest. As any child of a great youkai lord she wore the best kimonos sewn from the best fabrics. There would be much more to offer her once he tired of wandering and settled into his father's estate. Until then, he would provide her with as much comfort and safety as he could. 

Sesshoumaru stopped at a small river and watched as his subjects practically drown themselves in the water. "Jaken, once you are done here you are to take Rin and Ah Un to the cave near here. Do not leave or come out until I return. I do not need to advise you to keep her protected." 

Jaken turned his gaze warily to his Lord. "Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama!...Are you going to fight those youkai that seem to be following us? There must be hundreds of them, are you sure you should handle them alone?" 

Sesshoumaru merely stared at Jaken emotionlessly. The cold gaze sent Jaken sputtering with apologies. 

"I..that is...forgive me Sesshoumaru-sama! I did not mean to suggest that you could not destroy them on your own! A powerful youkai such as yourself could handle millions of youkai on your own. Its just that I wanted to be of some assistance to you." 

"I do not need your assistance in this matter." He turned away without another word, heading directly toward the pack of youkai. 

Rin piped up quickly and stared after him. "Sesshoumaru-sama! Onegai, be careful!" 

He paused for a second and then disappeared in the distance. 

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"You! The brother of that..that hanyou Inuyasha that destroyed our clan." The largest member and leader of the bat youkai stood before Sesshoumaru, the taste of revenge upon his tongue. 

Sesshoumaru became somewhat interested upon the mention of his brothers name. "Inuyasha? You were defeated by a worthless hanyou and you come after me, a full youkai. Surely your stupidity is the reason why you were first defeated." 

"With one arm you can not hope to defeat all of us. We came after you because while your brother has nothing, you are a noble with land. The last youkai standing shall take it as their own." 

"It shall be a pointless waste of my time defeating you." Sesshoumaru withdrew Toukijin from his side. "But since that is the case, I will not keep death waiting for your soul." 

The bat youkai leader jumped into the air as Sesshoumaru rushed forward. The horde of other demons rushed forward to distract the inu-youkai, seemingly eager to have their lives end. Toukijin diminished the first wave into mere dust that clung to the humidity in the air. Pieces of the flesh and the scent of blood filled the air as Sesshoumaru twirled gracefully, his energy whip destroying any that came too close to him. And still they came, even though the scent of melting flesh made their stomachs churn. 

Sesshoumaru took a regal stance and turned his attention up to the bat youkai, a bored expression upon his face. "Pathetic. Your efforts are pointless." 

A sly smile forced its way upon the lips of the bat youkai. "Patience, Sesshoumaru, you will not be so bored for long." 

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Rin sat quietly in the cave, her chin resting upon her knees. She had a strange feeling in her stomach, one that she had only felt when her family was murdered before her eyes. She had wished that they would be fine even as their screams of pain shattered all her hopes. Though she tried to deny it, the strange feeling in her stomach told her otherwise. She felt it now as she thought about Sesshoumaru-sama. He was powerful, she knew, but her little mind could no help but worry. 

"What is wrong with you Rin?" Jaken glanced nervously at the child. She was almost never quiet and her silence left him uncomfortable. "You are awfully quiet." 

"Rin hopes Sesshoumaru-sama is alright." 

Jaken jumped to his feet, waving his staff wildly. "Of course Sesshoumaru-sama is alright. Those youkai don't stand a chance against him!" 

"Still, Rin has a bad feeling." 

Jaken quieted down, taking Rin's words into consideration. "Well I could sense a large number of youkai...and Sesshoumaru-sama telling us to hide in a cave is a little unusual..." His eyes lit up. "Sesshoumaru-sama! Can it be that you are really in danger?" 

Ah Un gave a small grunt and stood upon his feet. He blocked the cave with his body and glanced up at the sky. Jaken quickly raced to Ah Un's side and turned his attention in the same direction of the two-headed beast. A flock of bat youkai littered the sky and blocked out the moon as they made their way towards the area Sesshoumaru had gone. When Jaken let out stuttering sounds, Rin rushed over and climbed upon Ah Un's back. Her eyes widened a bit and her stomach churned as she saw that her fears had taken the shape of the creatures in the sky. 

"Jaken-sama," she spoke softly and seemed to stare into space. "Are they going after Sesshoumaru-sama?" 

"Hai, there is no doubt that they are headed towards the battlefield. You shouldn't worry, Sesshoumaru-sama will handle them!" 

Rin said nothing for a moment as thoughts raced through her mind. She thought only briefly of the consequences before she made her decision. "We have to go help him." 

"Nani!? Don't be silly, what could you possibly do to help him? You're just a little human girl! And besides, he gave us strict orders to remain here until he returns." 

"Lets go Ah Un, Rin knows you want to help Sesshoumaru-sama." Rin took hold of the reins and began to urge Ah Un to move. 

Ah Un hesitated for a moment and then much to Jaken's surprise began to walk away. "N-nani!? Ah Un, what are you doing! You heard what Sesshoumaru-sama said! We have to stay here and protect Rin!" 

No reply came and the pair kept heading out, leaving Jaken behind. He gaped after them, shocked by Rin's disobedience. The child had never so much as spoke up to Sesshoumaru-sama let alone disobey one of his orders. Ah Un too was usually obedient. Could it be then that Sesshoumaru-sama was really in danger? If he was, Jaken might be rewarded for helping or he risked losing yet more years from his life. But he was sure that either way, Sesshoumaru would be angry. He sighed, realizing his only real choice was to make sure Rin was protected. 

He let out another defeated sigh and held his head down. "Sesshoumaru-sama is going to kill me..." 

"Jaken-sama, are you coming?" 

"Hai! Wait for me! Oi! Wait for me!" 

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"Reinforcements?" Sesshoumaru did not bother to look behind him. He had sensed the bat youkai coming long before they filled the sky behind him. "No. More fools who wish to die." 

"You're very cocky Sesshoumaru but soon you will be begging for your life!" Nagayumi, the bat youkai leader, laughed at Sesshoumaru as he began to fight the remaining youkai. He hoped to tire the inu-youkai but so far his army was not having much luck. He was nervous, but he did not let it show. He believed that the reinforcements combined with whatever youkai were left would be able to defeat their enemy. So he ignored his small doubts but decided now was a good time to set his second plan in motion. 

The leader of the reinforcements came to Nagayumi's side when he was beckoned. "Hai, milord?" 

"What of the girl he travels with?" Nagayumi spoke quietly, watching and learning Sesshoumaru's attacks. 

"We saw nothing of them as we passed over the terrain. But we did see a mountain and we are left to assume that there is a cave at its base. I sent someone too look and sure enough, there was a cave." 

"And?" 

"It was empty, milord. There was a small fire still burning so it is very possible that the girl was hiding there." 

"Well why are you standing here?" Nagayumi fumed at the youkai's ignorance. "Send someone out immediately to find them. If worse comes to worse we may have to hold her captive." 

"Hai, milord, I will do so immediately. But are you sure that Sesshoumaru will give up his lands in exchange for the girl?" 

"Fool, never doubt me! Now go!" Nagayumi shot darts at the youkai's back as he flew off before turning his eyes to Sesshoumaru. _That inu-youkai __will_ lose his lands one way or another. 

A sudden blast of what looked like lighting distracted Nagayumi from his thoughts. Sesshoumaru and those he was fighting were distracted as well. They turned their sights up to the sky where a two-headed dragon-like creature was attacking the bat youkai. A single blast from the beast's mouth scattered the body parts of nearly five bat youkai across the sky. A small girl held tightly to the reins and skillfully glided the beast closer to the battlefield. Another creature sat behind her with a strange staff in his hands that emitted a large stream of fire. Many were destroyed by this newfound enemy. Many were angered and afraid, but Nagayumi smiled with glee. 

Sesshoumaru stared at the ground with his back to his enemies. His hand twitched. 

"Capture the girl and victory shall be ours!" Nagayumi hovered over Sesshoumaru, pleased with the turn of events. "I sent someone to capture her Sesshoumaru, but it seems she is willing to deliver herself into my hands." He laughed, but cut himself short as the ground beneath Sesshoumaru began to shake. 

He was angry. No, angry did not correctly define the feelings Sesshoumaru felt at that moment. He burned with it, shook with it, and to his surprise, was consumed by it. His only thoughts were to punish and to kill. With blood red eyes Sesshoumaru gave into the transformation. He turned into a stream of pink light and shot across the ground, stopping when he was beneath the two-headed beast. He took shape quickly and formed the giant white inu youkai that was his true form. He growled ferociously and drooled poison filled saliva. He turned his head up and jumped on his back legs into the sky. 

"Nani!?" Nagayumi stared in shock. "Why is he attacking the girl?" 

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Please review and let me know what you think so far. 


	2. The Past: Chapter 2

  
**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Past**   
_Chapter 2_

  
From the moment they arrived Rin never tore her gaze from Sesshoumaru. A wave of relief had passed over her as she saw that he was safe and unharmed. But a wave of fear quickly chased her feeling of relief away. It was not his strange form that frightened her for she thought he looked rather nice as a giant dog. But when he jumped into the air towards them, his face snarled with a growl and his sharp fangs dripping with drool, she was quickly reminded of the wolf youkai that had attacked her years before. She was staring, unable to move or speak, when Jaken's scream pierced the air. She awoke from her trance and quickly moved Ah Un back and out of Sesshoumaru's range. 

"S-s-sesshoumaru-sama!?" Jaken explained in surprise, his body shaking with fear. "Wh-what are you doing, why are you attacking us?" 

A deep growl filled the inu-youkai's throat and he barked in response before jumping up to attack again. 

"Sesshoumaru-sama..." Rin spoke quietly as she stared at Sesshoumaru. 

Jaken screamed again and hit Ah Un with his staff. "Get us out of here before he kills us!" 

They fled quickly across the sky with Jaken yelling and cursing. But Rin ignored him and kept staring at Sesshoumaru until he faded into nothing. 

"Sesshoumaru," Nagayumi spoke up now that the shock had passed. "If you really despise the girl so much you should have let us kill her. Humans are nothing more than trouble or food anyway. You shouldn't keep--" 

Without warning Nagayumi was cut off. Sesshoumaru pierced his neck with his fangs and bit down until he heard the satisfying crunch of bones. He threw the corpse aside and began to attack his surprised enemies. The number of their reinforcements had dwindled down to an amount that even a puppy could handle. He quickly attacked the remaining bat youkai so they could not fly away. He needed only to bite off their heads and spit them out to be melted by his saliva. The youkai that scurried across the ground towards him did not last long from the noxious gas the melting bodies gave off. 

By sunrise corpses surrounded Sesshoumaru and still his anger had not diminished. 

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Jaken slept inside the cave, his snores leaking out into the air. Ah Un too was resting, with Rin lying against them. But sleep had not come for her. She had dozed off once or twice only to be awakened by images of wolf youkai chasing after her. So she stayed awake, waiting for Sesshoumaru to return. Sunrise came, but he did not. Now, late into the morning, he had still not arrived. It was already hot and her yukata was beginning to stick to her skin. Her stomach growled and her throat was dry. But she ignored it and watched for Sesshoumaru. 

The sun was high above their heads by the time Sesshoumaru arrived. Rin had run off to rinse to the sweat from her body and cool off. When she came back there stood Sesshoumaru with a badly bruised Jaken at his feet. He was bowing to his master offering apologies and explanations. Ah Uh too had their heads bowed in submission. She rushed forward, willing to accept her punishment, and dropped to her knees in front of Sesshoumaru. She bowed and spoke up quickly. 

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Please do not be angry at Jaken-sama and Ah Un. It is Rin's fault, Rin made them come with her. Rin wanted to help Sesshoumaru-sama." 

His voice was harsh and filled with anger. "If you wish to help this Sesshoumaru then do as you are told. I will not protect you and fight at the same time." He never spoke to Rin in such a way but his anger got the better of him. 

"But Rin didn't want to be protected, Rin wanted to protect Sesshoumaru-sama!" She stood to her feet even though she knew that he would be displeased that she had not the conversation end. "If anything bad happened to Sesshoumaru-sama then...then...Rin would not be able to live with herself!" 

Sesshoumaru said nothing, surprised by the girl's outburst. Then all at once she ran off as if saddened that he didn't understand. "Ah Un. Go with her." 

Jaken jumped to his feet and watched Ah Un trot away. "See! I told you Sesshoumaru-sama! It was all that girl's idea! You should get rid of her, she is very--" 

A knock on the head silenced him and left Sesshoumaru alone to his thoughts. What happened the day before was something he never wanted to experience again. He had lost himself, much like his stupid brother had done when he parted with Tetsusaiga to long. But unlike his brother he had not been backed into a corner with his life on the line. It had been Rin's life. He reacted with anger, hate, the need to kill, and much to his disappointment, with fear. He had been overcome with a feeling of fear for Rin's life and was angered _by_ that feeling. That combined with his anger with Jaken, Ah Un, and the bat youkai for even considering laying a hand on Rin pushed him over the edge. 

The feeling did not sit very well with him. 

Sesshoumaru realized how much he really cared about Rin. He had not realized how deep that feeling went until now. It was ludacris and degrading for him to be caring so much for a mere human. Yet the girl had a place in his heart that many males kept for their daughters. He should get rid of her, he knew. But he was overly protective and because of it, he would never be able to let her go with just anyone. He also realized that he would never be able to go into such a large battle again unless he had Rin locked away somewhere. Her need to protect and care for him despite her powerlessness had been present since the day they met. That need would not die, but perhaps he could compromise with her. 

_Compromising with a human child. This Sesshoumaru has reached a level lower than the most inferior creature._ Disgusted and frustrated, he knocked Jaken unconscious again. 

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Her heart pounded loudly against her chest. She could hear it echoing in her ears in the silence of the night. She glanced around her, tuning all of her senses into her surroundings. It was there, lurking in the shadows like her. She was leading, it was following. Narrowing her eyes, she adjusted to the darkness in front of her and silently crept forward. Toes landing first, she slowly set the rest of her foot down in case she stepped on a noisy branch. And then she melted into the shadows again and glanced around cautiously, making sure she was on the right path to the river. She could see the distant glimmer of the moon upon the waters surface and knew she was close to safety. Making sure it was safe, she began to move again. 

A branch cracked loudly under her foot. 

The noise echoed in her head before she heard a swish of bushes. The creature was moving towards her quickly. Her only hope was to run so she dashed off, her feet padding quietly across the ground. She stuck close to the shadows still, unwilling to completely abandon her training. Beyond the forest she could see the river and stopped just beyond the clearing before she dashed forward. She slipped quietly into the water, trying not to let the creature know she had gone into the water. Holding her breath, she lie on her back and let the water carry her away. 

She was yanked from the water before she could really get anywhere. 

"Rin, you are being foolish. There was no reason to go into the water." 

She frowned and quickly got to her feet when she was placed on the ground. "Gomen, Sesshoumaru-sama. Once Rin started running, she got carried away." 

Sesshoumaru said nothing for a moment, speaking only when he began to walk away. "You should not have had to run if you would learn not to be so careless." 

"Sesshoumaru-sama! Wait for me!" Rin chased after him, slowing down only when she reached him. "I didn't mean to step on the tree branch." 

"It does not matter. You must learn to anticipate things like that. Especially in this season. Nature is dying all around you." 

Rin looked down at her feet, feeling ashamed. "I know..." She bit her lip, not knowing what else to say. 

"You are still too nervous. If I listened closely enough, I could hear your heart beat and your heavy breathing." 

"But Sesshoumaru-sama, you hear everything!" She began to pout, hating that he was being so unfair. 

The barest of smiles graced his lips as he was somewhat amused that the child in her still surfaced when provoked. "True. Had it not been this Sesshoumaru that was in pursuit of you, you would have gotten away." 

Rin looked up at Sesshoumaru and smiled brightly, recognizing the secret meaning beneath his words. It was a close to "good job" as he was going to get. She had been training herself for nearly two years and was finally wielding satisfactory results. She thought back to that day when Sesshoumaru had transformed and come after her. She remembered his anger, the way he seemed to ignore her more than usual. It was her punishment, she knew, and for a long time she thought he was going to abandon her. Until one day, when they were alone, he spoke the words that she immediately took to heart. 

_"Rin. I will not always be around to protect you. Just like how you find food for yourself, you must also learn to protect yourself. This Sesshoumaru will be able to fight better with the knowledge that you are safe."_

The last thing she wanted to do was worry Sesshoumaru. Worry was a distraction and a distraction was something he could do without while in battle. So Rin made a secret promise to him, and to herself, to learn how to protect herself. The promise was one she sought to keep ever since that day. She began slowy, hiding only from Jaken and Ah Un. And then she enlisted Jaken's help to find somewhat trustworthy youkai to practice with. She learned to tune her weak humans senses as best she could to the world around her. Like Jaken, she was able to sense Sesshoumaru if she paid enough attention. With her expanded knowledge and techniques, she began to use them against Sesshoumaru. 

To Rin's surprise, he indulged her without complaint. When she sensed Sesshoumaru drawing near, she slipped into the forest, leaving Jaken and Ah Un clueless to her whereabouts. Sesshoumaru often sent Jaken out to search for her first but it was so simple for her to elude his senses that Sesshoumaru himself searched for her after awhile. It was harder to escape his keen senses but Rin accepted the challenge. She tried to train herself to mentally relax so her heart wasn't beating so loudly and her breathing wasn't so hard, but Sesshoumaru always made her nervous. She was still a work in progress but according to his secret compliment, she was improving. 

Rin looked up at Sesshoumaru again, amazed as always by the lack of emotion on his face, and made a vow to improve enough to be like him as much as possible. 

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	3. The Past: Chapter 3

  
**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Past**   
_Chapter 3_

  
Sesshoumaru sat under a large tree calmly watching the young girl and trying to decide exactly what to do with her. It was a thought that crossed his mind quite often and one he paid little attention to. When she first began to follow him, he was too distracted with thoughts of destroying those wretched hanyou's Inuyasha and Naraku. Now that both of them were no longer worth thinking about, he was bothered every now and then by a voice concerning Rin. 

She was fourteen now and probably approaching womanhood. He did not know much of human customs, but he was convinced that she was at an age close to marriage. The idea of giving her to some filthy human boy disgusted him. But he had to remember that because his pride would not allow him to keep her at the estate, there was no other choice. As her father figure, all he could do was find a respectable village and family and order them to see that Rin is taken care of. 

He had yet to find a village that measured up to his standards. 

It would be foolish of him to deny the fact that he didn't want to get rid of her. She had pleased him greatly with the way she had learned to be independent and self-reliant. Rarely did she find herself in trouble with some savage youkai since she was so good at avoiding them. And in case confrontation was inevitable, she was at the moment teaching herself to use a bow and arrow. There was a strange sense of pride swelling in his chest that was only made worse with the fact that she still adored him. It was clear to both he and Rin that she no longer needed him, yet she continued to worship him. Though he didn't need it, it was uplifting to his ego. 

So Rin would remain with him until he was finally pushed to make a decision. Contented with that for now, he pushed away that little voice and turned his attention back to Rin. She was taller thanks to her long legs and nearly reached his shoulder. Her face was slowly becoming that of woman's and she appeared to be regal. Already she was a young beauty with light brown eyes and a small nose. Still, the way her bangs fell sloppily over her eyebrows made her look childlike. She had long since abandoned the awkward ponytail and allowed her hair to cascade freely down her back. She tied it loosely at the base of her neck for the moment so it wouldn't get in her way. Though she was getting better at using the bow and arrow, she still had much to learn. 

Rin walked over to Sesshoumaru and sat beside him, folding her legs under her. "Oi, Sesshoumaru-sama. You look so lonely." 

He, as expected, said nothing. 

Rin let her question dropped unanswered, perfectly content with the silence. Years ago, the silence would have made her uncomfortable but she, determined to be like him, had adjusted to it. Sesshoumaru always appeared to be in deep thought and she began to lose herself in her own thoughts. Comforted by his presence, she stared up at the sky and played out the best way to improve upon her new skill. 

"Rin." 

She turned to him after pulling her hair free. "Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama?" 

"Do you wish to live with your own kind?" 

Rin stared at him, trying to read something from his emotionless face only to find that his attention never wavered from the sky. The years she spent training her own emotions were the only thing that prevented her from panicking. 

"Rin's only wish is to stay with Sesshoumaru-sama forever." 

Sesshoumaru turned his attention to her. Though she spoke quietly, he didn't miss the slight sadness in her voice. "You cannot stay with this Sesshoumaru forever. We are too different." 

"What is wrong with being different? Sesshoumaru-sama is different from any youkai Rin has ever heard of." 

"Human and youkai live differently, that is why you cannot stay with me." 

"Then Rin will live like a youkai so I can stay with you." She smiled brightly, one of the few forms of emotions she allowed herself. 

Sesshoumaru looked back up at the sky. "It is not that simple Rin. One day you will understand." 

But she already did understand. She was well aware of the fact that Sesshoumaru did not think highly of humans. But she always liked to believe that she was the exception; that her being around would not matter to him. She wished she could change if it meant she could stay with him forever, but there was nothing she could do. He would not accept her and someday, forever would come. It could be tomorrow, or next year, or the day she died. Until then, she would be content with being by his side. 

Rin rose to her feet, smiling down at Sesshoumaru. "Rin is going to get some food." 

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Rin returned to find Sesshoumaru wasn't there. In his place sat Jaken who was just finished getting the fire started. She shook her head, wishing she understood why Sesshoumaru disappeared so much. Letting it go for now, Rin skipped over to the fire and set her fish and mushrooms over it. Tonight was going to be lonely and boring with a complaining Jaken as her only company. 

But the night would prove to be far from lonely and boring. 

They had company. A youkai, no doubt, was slowly drawing near to their camp. It was Ah Un who noticed it first, letting her know by his cautious movements that something was not right. She quickly tuned her senses to what was around her. Ah Un kept his eyes secretly trained on the direction the youkai was coming from. Rin innocently gathered her bow and arrow, plotting in her mind the best way to dispose of the youkai. _This is a good time for Rin to practice what she has learned._

"Ne, Jaken-sama." 

"Nani?" What could the girl want now? She was always talking and all he wanted to do was go to sleep. 

"Do you think Rin will ever be able to properly use the bow and arrow?" An idea struck her. How much would it hurt to be hit with a hot arrow? 

"With much practice." He glanced up when she put the arrows over the fire. "What are you doing Rin?" 

"Rin is bored." 

"That is no reason to burn your arrows! If Sesshoumaru was here..." Jaken shook his head. 

"Hai...if Sesshoumaru was here..." She turned quickly, one knee on the ground and one foot in front of her. She cocked her bow, locked in an arrow, and let it fly just as a strange youkai stepped into the clearing. To her surprise the arrow hit the youkai's chest. "...that youkai wouldn't show his face." 

Jaken quickly jumped his feet, surprise written clearly on his face. He looked at the youkai and then at Rin. She was standing on her feet with an expression that reminded him of Sesshoumaru. All her focus was upon the youkai before her. And she, who had had so much trouble with her bow and arrow earlier that day, had shot the youkai in his chest. He was baffled. 

The youkai was pissed. 

The tiger youkai snarled and bared his fangs at the young girl. He lifted a clawed paw to pull the arrow out only to be struck with another. Growling, he took a step forward, only to be blocked by a two-headed beast. 

"Little girl, I can't wait to eat you." 

"Well, now that I know your intentions, I won't feel so bad." 

She used the last of her arrows on the youkai. He stumbled forward and wrapped his arms around Ah Un. The dragon youkai struggled unsuccessfully to escape his captor. There was a rumble of bushes that made Jaken and Rin jumped. From them another tiger youkai stepped forward and rushed towards them. Jaken reacted quickly this time and slammed the Staff of Heads into the ground in front of him. 

"Rin! Hurry, run!" He blocked the youkai with a wave of flames. 

Rin turned quickly and ran towards the river. She ignored branches and bushes that tore at her kimono, ignored the pounding of her heart. She ran as fast as she could, her destination now in her sight. Fearing for Jaken's life, she decided not to let the water carry her to far from him. During her wanderings earlier that day she found a waterfall and quickly decided to make it her destination. She tore a piece of cloth from her kimono and let it float downstream to lead the tiger away. Diving into the water, she began her struggle going upstream. 

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She sat under the waterfall, somewhat enjoying the feel of pounding water on her shoulders. The water would hide her scent and keep it from being carried away in the wind. She was cold, but ignored it since she was glad for the bath. For how long she sat there she did not know but she was judging her time on the moon. Sighing, she stared up at it and decided it was safe to return to Jaken. 

Rin found Jaken sitting beneath the tree holding his injured side. Ah Un, who was not there, was probably searching for her. Hoping he would return soon, she relit the fire and began to tend to Jaken's wound. 

"Is that better, Jaken-sama? That tiger's claws were really sharp." 

"That youkai was no match for this Jaken!" 

Rin shook her head and turned when she heard a noise from the bushes. Ah Un stepped into the clearing and nudged Rin. "Ah Un? What's wrong?" 

"That youkai will probably come back. We should leave." Jaken forced himself to his feet and wobbled over to Ah Un. 

"But Jaken-sama, I thought you said the youkai was no match for you." She climbed on Ah Un then helped Jaken up. 

"He isn't!" 

"Then why are you running away? Why don't you wait until he comes back and beat him up? Ne, Jaken-sama? Where are we going? Are we going to find Sesshoumaru-sama? Jaken-sama, answer me!" 

Jaken, who was obviously ignoring her, wondered what he had done in his past life that made him deserve his current one. Neither of them noticed the dark figure trailing them from the ground. 

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So sorry for the late update. I've been having a bit of writer's block. Though I am currently working on chapter 4, it might be a while before I update as I'm still having trouble. (Maybe more reviews will make it better ^.^) Anyway...thank you soooo much for the reviews. I'm glad you all like where it's heading. 


	4. The Past: Chapter 4

  
**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Past**   
_Chapter 4_

  
"Inuyasha...You are finally learning to use Tetsusaiga properly." 

Inuyasha growled deep in his throat, eyes spitting fire. "Quit yapping or do you need me to shut that mouth for you?" 

"Your threats are meaningless." 

Sesshoumaru stared into Inuyasha's eyes intently. Toukijin and Tetsusaiga were crossed in a deadlock between their masters. Both swords held their own as sparks of lighting power cracked from their surface. Neither brother gave way, each too determined to prove their strength. They remained that way for minutes, watching and waiting for the other to make a move. There was a rustle in the distance. Inuyasha diverted his eyes quickly. Sesshoumaru thrust his sword and sent Inuyasha flying backwards. Tetsusaiga landed a few feet in front of Inuyasha. 

"You still are not worthy of Tetsusaiga." Sesshoumaru placed Toukijin back at his side. 

"Keh, baka." Inuyasha forced himself to his feet. "Over and over again you try to take Tetsusaiga, but you never learn. Because you have no heart you are not worthy of Tetsusaiga. The barrier will reject you. Its pointless to even think you will ever be able to use it." 

Sesshoumaru looked from Inuyasha to Tetsusaiga. "You are wrong little brother, I will get past the barrier." 

"Keh, yeah right." 

A smile graced Sesshoumaru's lips. "Why do you think I had that human girl? She is still with me you know. I only keep her around so that one day I will be able to use Tetsusaiga. That day has come, Tetsusaiga will be mine!" 

Jaken jumped into the clearing just as Sesshoumaru began to rush forward to grab Tetsusaiga. "Sesshoumaru-sama!!!!!!" 

Sesshoumaru stopped dead in his tracks. He and Inuyasha stared at the toad youkai who wore a shocked expression on his face. Jaken was visibly trembling, his mouth wide open, his eyes bulging out as if they would pop out; he was clearly surprised by his lord's words. Sure he had always wondered why Sesshoumaru allowed Rin to remain in his company but he never thought it was for that reason. It was clever, but cruel. Though humans were useless he was sure Rin's life had more meaning than that. She would surely want to die if she knew...Jaken froze and turned slowly. 

Rin stepped into the clearing and into the center of everyone's attention. A smile was on her lips. 

"Sesshoumaru-sama, there you are." 

Jaken stepped towards her. "Rin you didn't-" 

"Jaken." 

Jaken turned back and faced Sesshoumaru, knowing that he was to keep what he heard a secret. 

Sesshoumaru turned his attention back to his brother just as Inuyasha made a dash for Tetsusaiga. Sesshoumaru wasted no time in unsheathing Toukijin and the battle between he and his brother quickly began again. 

"Jaken-sama, who is Sesshoumaru-sama fighting?" Rin turned her curious eyes to Jaken for a moment, calmly awaiting his answer. 

Jaken looked at the girl strangely, trying to understand why she hadn't heard what Sesshoumaru had said. "That is Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru-sama's useless brother." 

"His brother!" Rin looked back at the two youkai. Both their hair and eyes resembled each other but other than that, there was a distinct difference between them. "But why is Sesshoumaru-sama fighting his brother?" 

The conversation quickly got Jaken fired up and he forgot about what Sesshoumaru had said. "That sword that Inuyasha is using, Tetsusaiga, it should belong to Sesshoumaru-sama not some worthless hanyou!" 

"What is a hanyou?" 

"A hanyou is a filthy creature born from a human and a youkai. They are a disgrace to the human and youkai world alike!" 

_Hanyou...Inuyasha...Tetsusaiga...human...youkai..._ Rin turned and stared at Sesshoumaru, her attention more on her thoughts than on him. 

Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru found themselves staring in each others eyes again with swords locked and power sparkling around them. Inuyasha spoke first, keeping his voice low enough for only Sesshoumaru to hear. 

"Sesshoumaru..you think so low of humans. But at the end of the day, it is they who are better than you. How could you say such a thing about a little girl? She couldn't have done anything to deserve to be used by you. She heard what you said, you know she did." 

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at his brother. "Fool. If she heard what I said then her behavior would be the opposite of what it is now." 

"Keh, believe what you want. You and I both know she heard you. She's just pretending she didn't. Pretty smart for such a lowly creature right? You're absolutely disgusting Sesshoumaru." 

Sesshoumaru was about to speak when he caught the scent of a tiger youkai. Inuyasha became aware of it as well and darted his eyes to where he thought it to be. Taking advantage of the distraction, Sesshoumaru impaled Inuyasha with his sword, leaving a bloody hole in his chest. 

"That is the second time you were distracted so easily little brother. You still have much to learn." 

Inuyasha fell to his knees and covered the hole in his wound with his hand. "Keh. I get distracted because I am trying to protect the people I care about, unlike you." His eyes drifted to where Rin was. 

The tiger youkai held Rin by her throat. Her feet were dangling in the air, her hands were grasping at his clawed hand. Under the youkai's foot was Jaken with his face smashed into the ground so he couldn't make a sound. 

Sesshoumaru appeared in front of the youkai a half a second later and had the tiger's throat in his own grasp. "Let her go." 

"What are you doing!?" The tiger used his free hand to grab at Sesshoumaru's hand. "Go back to your fight, the girl is my prey!" 

"Let her go." His claws dug deeper into the youkai's throat, poison already seeping into his blood stream. 

He dropped her and much to his surprise was released. Deciding it was best to escape before the inu-youkai changed his mind, he quickly disappeared into the forest unaware that the poison was already destroying his body. 

Sesshoumaru bent to his knees and gathered the now unconscious girl in his arm the best he could before disappearing into the forest. 

Kagome, who had been watching the fight from a safe distance, helped Inuyasha to his feet. "Inuyasha...she heard what he said." 

"I don't know Kagome. The way she was acting..." 

"No, I saw her. She was right behind Jaken but she stopped when she heard what Sesshoumaru said." Kagome watched Sesshoumaru walk away, a sad expression on her face. "It lasted only a moment but she looked...devastated. Her eyes were empty and filled with pain as though she were dead." 

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Rin sat up quickly and held her hands to her heart. She felt it pounding hard against her chest, heard it's thudding in her ears. It took all her effort to breathe and when she finally could, it took her remaining effort to stop her body from shaking. Though it was cold, she wanted nothing more than a dip in the cool river to wash the sweat from her body. She wanted to wash those images away. 

"Rin." 

She jumped at the sound of Sesshoumaru's voice, not comforted by it for once. "Hai?" Her voice was shaky. 

"It was your dream again." 

It was a statement rather than a question. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees. "Hai." 

Sesshoumaru stared at her for a moment, trying to decipher what it was about her that was different. He wanted to believe it was because of her encounter with the tiger youkai. She had proved to him and herself that she was strong and brave. It was like she was stepping into adulthood. But he knew that alone could not be the reason for her behavior. Then he thought back to the day before and remembered the thing he had said. But even that did not explain her behavior. Such words should have made her sad but she was neither happy nor sad. She was simply emotionless. 

"You should go refresh yourself at the river." 

Rin rose to her feet and stretched. "That is a good idea Sesshoumaru-sama. I also need to wash my kimonos. I'll bring back some fish so we can have an early dinner." She gathered her things and disappeared into the forest. 

She never returned that night. 


	5. The Past: Chapter 5

  
**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Past**   
_Chapter 5_

  
Sesshoumaru walked beside the river, his gait slow and his steps light. There was a nagging voice inside his head encouraging him to move faster but it was easily ignored. He had to move slowly in order to save his remaining patience and sanity as the search for Rin was wearing on him. What little dignity the child had left him upon entering his life was slowly beginning to fade away with each day. He was searching for a human...a human girl...a human child. 

There was a second voice that said such things did not matter. 

But the search was going nowhere. The night she disappeared he had waited until nearly sunset before he roused himself to search for her. His immediately followed the river downstream for longer than he thought he would have to until he was able to sense her. And even then that little hint did nothing to help him. It was a clever trick to leave the kimono she had been wearing hanging from the tree where it would dry and carry her scent across the wind. From there her scent led directly back to the river. He began to follow it again, convinced that he would catch up with her soon enough. But his next hint led him to the worst possible place. 

A human village. 

There she had abandoned the two kimonos she had taken to wash at the river. One she sold to a merchant who in turn had cleaned it up to be sold to some villager. The other, though it took him quite some time to get the information out of the petrified villagers, had been traded with the clothes of a young girl who worked in the fields. Now with her scent mixing with that of a strange girl's, it would be even harder for him to find Rin. He was beginning to wonder why he was still searching for her. 

With that thought in mind, he turned around and put an end to his search, finally accepting the fact that Rin did not want to be found. 

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Rin walked slowly through the forest listening carefully to her surroundings. Already she could hear the soft trickle of the river, a sound she knew she would never tire of hearing. The river was her salvation in more ways than one. It provided her with a constant source of food and water, without which she would not be able to travel as much as she did. It cleansed her body and her mind when it was clouded with thoughts. It often swept her away from dangerous youkai. But more importantly, it washed away all memories of her past life. 

A year had passed since she left and since then she never allowed her thoughts to drift to the past. She only thought of how long and where she was going next. It had become her habit, her lifestyle, to spend two weeks traveling through the forest. Sometimes she would go by foot, others she would journey by horse. Regardless of how she traveled, she would always stop at the first village she came upon once her time was up. There she would make what money she could working for whom ever would hire her. After a month had passed she would trade clothing with someone just in case anyone was following her scent and start the cycle over again. 

But her precious cycle was to be interrupted soon enough. 

Before she left her last village, Rin had begun to notice that she had been a little moody. It had been harder than usual to control her emotions and she wasn't sure why. She was happy at the moment, despite the strange pain in her stomach. She attributed it to hunger and thirst so she was more than pleased when she reached the river. When she bent to take a sip of water, she noticed that her thighs were wet as though she had used the bathroom on herself. Knowing she hadn't done such a thing, she lifted her kimono to wipe her thigh and noticed the trickle of blood sliding down her leg. 

If she hadn't been in shock she surely would have screamed. 

She panicked and jumped quickly into the water but she knew it was already to late. For how long she had been bleeding she did not know but she was sure _some_ youkai was probably already picking up her scent. She scrubbed her legs, trying to figure out where the blood was coming from. Her hand brushed against her crotch and was stained red, providing her with an answer. Confusion made her crease her brow but it quickly went away when she felt the presence of a youkai. 

_Three youkai_, Rin thought to herself. She continued wiping her leg as if she knew nothing and was glad that in her shock she did not drop her bow and arrow. She waited patiently for the youkai to creep within range before she turned and quickly cocked her bow. With her skills far better than they had been in the beginning, her arrow hit her target just as it stepped into the clearing. Without hesitation she fired two more arrows into the pig youkai's throat. The second stepped out and met with the same fate. The third, as she predicted, was aware of her tactics after witnessing what happened to his friends. He was already coming towards her from behind. She may have been out of arrows but she was not unarmed. 

Rin quickly turned, pulling out her dagger from within her kimono and sliced at the youkai's chest when she was facing him. Though caught off guard and injured, the pig reacted quickly and grabbed her arm. She ducked before he could hit her and stabbed him in the stomach. He threw her roughly, leaving claw marks down her arm. Taking the opportunity, she dived into the water and swam away, glad that the current was moving quickly. 

But the current was moving _too_ quickly and she soon noticed that she was heading for a waterfall. She tried countless times to gain her footing but she needed both arms and both legs to stop herself. Her injured arm was more painful than it should have been and felt as though it was going numb. She could only hope she would survive the fall as she tumbled over the edge. 

Before she fell into darkness, she passed a bridge and noticed that one side looked as though a path of steps had been carved into one side beneath it. 

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Rin awoke groggily, trying to fight against the darkness that had her captive. She had done so many times before and caught glimpses of shadowed figures before she succumbed to unconsciousness again. This time she surfaced, thinking that she was still in the river since she was still cold. But when she swept her eyes to her side she found that she was in a dimly lit room. There was a figure in the corner, its back to her, humming quietly. As she sat up in an attempt to get its attention, the room began to spin, stopping only when she lay down with her eyes closed. 

The figure turned and came quickly to her side. "You've finally awakened." 

Knowing that she was in the care of a woman set Rin at ease for the moment. "Where am I?" 

"At the Kotetsu village. My husband and son found you floating in the river not far from here. From the looks of your arm it was safe to assume you were attacked by a youkai." She placed a warm towel on Rin's forehead. 

"Hai...I escaped by letting the river carry me down stream. By the time I realized I was heading for the waterfall it was too late. I couldn't get out with my arm so badly injured." 

The woman clucked her tongue and began to remove the bandages from Rin's arm. "You are a lucky girl then, considering you survived the fall and the poison from that youkai." 

"Poison?" 

"Hai." She cleaned the wound and applied some medicine before beginning rewrapping it. "If you hadn't been on your monthly cycle and you hadn't been found, it would have killed you." 

"I don't understand. What do you mean by my monthly cycle?" 

The woman stared down at Rin and blinked. "Your mother never told you about your monthly cycle?" 

The pain came and went quickly, a testament to her ability to control her emotions. "She died when I was four." 

"Oh..." The woman rose and walked away, bringing back a cup of some substance. "Who raised you?" 

Rin thought briefly of the inu-youkai. "A stayed with a youkai for a small portion of my life but I raised myself." 

"Oh..oh my. With a male youkai, I assume, which is twice as strange..." She went silent for a moment trying to picture a male youkai with a little human girl. Letting the thought go, she quickly explained the monthly cycle of a woman to Rin. "The poison moved quickly and most of it was carried out by your own blood. The rest we treated as best we could with our medicine." 

"I...arigatou." She did not know what to say since she was still somewhat confused. 

The woman smiled. "Here, drink this and rest some more. You will be better soon." She handed Rin the cup and left her to her own thoughts. 

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Feeling indebted to the family, Rin stayed with them for two months, helping with their preparations for winter. Though her arm had been in a sling for nearly two weeks, she helped where she could. Now, free of the wretched thing, she spent most of her days teaching Ichigo, a boy of thirteen, to catch fish her way. By the end of her stay, their private fish reserve was practically full. 

The Noboru family lived on the outskirts of their village on a small farm. They took great care of their land and in return it took care of them. Their daughter Akane, only two years old, was already eager to do her part so Saori, her mother, entertained her desires by allowing her to carry a small basket on her back which was filled with food when they harvested the land. At five, however, Akane would learn to sew and cook dinner so her mother could spend more time in the field. Ichigo tended to the harder work with his father Tadaki. When he was not with Rin he was taking expert care of the horses. He spent his time away from them helping his father plow the land or make repairs where necessary. The boy, very much like his father, was strong and determined. 

They often reminded her of her own family. 

It was time for her to leave, though she would regret doing so. It would be best for their and her own well-being. Rin firmly believed that she was not meant to have a family and thought it best to leave before she got more attached than she already was. But before she left, she returned to the bridge she had seen when she had fallen, unable to put the image she believed she saw from her mind. 

"Ichigo, hold this for me." She handed him the basket full of berries that she was carrying on her back. 

"What are you doing Rin?" He took it and placed it on the ground beside his own basket, watching her closely as she looked over the edge by the bridge. 

"Remember, I fell from here. I saw something strange when I did." Sure enough, there were breaks in the side of the mountain that looked like steps. Something inside her pushed her to find where they led and giving into her instincts, she tried to make her way towards them. 

It took her till nearly sunset to make her way down. She was sure the steps had been crafted by a human hand, though she did not know how. It led directly down beneath the bridge, hiding her from sight from either end of the bridge. The steps ended suddenly and it took her awhile to see that they began to move vertically towards the waterfall. When she was completely behind the waterfall, a sturdy ledge was waiting for her. Again, she believed that it and the small opening she found in front of it was man made. After making a second trip down with a torch, she was surprised to find a cavern past the opening. 

Rin made her way back up and gathered her things slowly, still stunned from her find. "Ichigo. I think I have found a place to live." 

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Thanks soooooooooooooooooooo much for the reviews. They are such a great inspiration to me, you all really have no idea. I am so proud that everyone is enjoying the story so far. This is the end of the past and time to head into the present.   
And speaking of the present. Heads up to all my readers, I am back in school now, spring break is over. That means I won't be updating too often. I try to stay a chapter ahead (meaning when I release chapter 5, chapter 6 is already finished) so that if I do get to backed up to do another chapter I have _something_ to release. Anyway, I'll try my best to stay on track with these. Since the story is so popular and I'm getting such great reviews, I am really encouraged to write. Again, thanks so much for the reviews. 


	6. The Present: Chapter 6

  
**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 6_

  
Rin walked down the steep hill, enjoying the warmth the evening sun provided. She hummed to herself, glad to be on her way home. She had been gone for nearly a week and had finished her business early. With the money she made or 'acquired' from a wealthy villager, she was well prepared for the winter months. Three barrels of rice were on its way to a village near Kotetsu; one for herself, one for her adopted family, and one for the shop keeping them in storage while she was away. With this method, it would be nearly impossible for anyone to track any type of activity she did. She kept herself anonymous and therefore protected at all times. 

Nothing much had changed about her anonymous life. Her scent was practically untraceable. Her wardrobe changed on a bi-weekly basis with new or used kimonos. After learning to sew she patched up the used kimonos so they looked brand new. Most women she traded kimonos with were grateful for the trade, feeling that they were getting a better bargain. But Rin, more concerned with her safety, could care less. She was sure she smelled like a million different women from a million different areas of the world and she couldn't be more pleased. 

It was a good life but as her luck often had it, her good life always took a dangerous detour. 

The ground beneath her feet vibrated and from the dense forest ahead of her arose a large creature. She heard cries from both men and women coming quickly in her direction. The creature, which appeared to be a giant bear youkai, slowly made its way towards the voices, probably planning to make the humans its food. 

Rin sighed and wondered what she could do to stop it. She could see hundreds of arrows and spears flying into the air only to be reflected back by the youkai's thick skin. Knowing her own arrows would not work she slung her bow over her shoulder and opted to test her new weapon. Walking towards the youkai, Rin pulled several small balls from the pouch hanging in her kimono. She lit the rope hanging from one and used a slingshot to fire it at the youkai. 

The small bomb got close enough to the youkai to create a small wound on its side. It roared loudly, sending new fear done the spines of many villagers below it. Some brave men began to aim their arrows at the youkai's wound, inspiring others to do the same. Pleased with the turn of events and the success of her new weapons, Rin fired more of her mini bombs at the youkai. The bear youkai roared again and began to stumble forward in pain. 

Then in the blink of an eye the youkai fell upon its front paws and began to run in her direction. Rin turned, cursing under her breath, and began to run as fast as she could. She knew she would not escape it, but her legs pushed her forward, unwilling to accept their fate. She could see her shadow quickly being overtaken by a larger figure. She could hear the youkai behind her, could feel its breath on the back of her neck. And just as she thought it was going to strike, she heard a somewhat familiar voice that sent a shiver down her spine. 

"Kaze no kizu!" 

When she turned it was the sword that grabbed and held her attention. Though the youkai had been completely obliterated and many villages were rushing forward loudly in praise, she noticed it not. She stared, half in shock, half in disbelief, at the hanyou and his sword. She knew the names of both and with that knowledge came thousands of memories she wished never existed. Unpleasant emotions she didn't know she was capable of possessing filled her up inside and threatened to overwhelm her. It was her training alone that kept her sane. 

"Hey! Daijoubu? Can you hear me?" 

Rin snapped from her trance and stared at the woman in front of her. She had a concerned look on her face, one Rin thought she might have seen before. "Hai...I'm fine." 

"You were spaced out for a while, I thought you might be in shock. You don't have to worry anymore, the youkai is gone." 

"So I see..." Rin turned her attention to Inuyasha who was making his way towards them. 

"Have we met before? You look strangely familiar." 

"I was thinking the same thing." She smiled. "My name is Rin." 

"You smell really different but I knew there was something familiar about your scent!" Inuyasha stepped between the two women and growled. "So where is he? I know you're that girl Sesshoumaru was u-" 

"Osuwari!" Kagome stepped over Inuyasha and took Rin by her hands. "Now I remember, you are that little girl that was traveling with Sesshoumaru. You're not so little anymore." 

That name put a bad taste in her mouth. "I'm not traveling with that inu-youkai anymore. We parted ways several years ago." 

"Oh, I see." Kagome thought back to the last time they had encountered Sesshoumaru and thought she may know why Rin no longer traveled with him. 

Inuyasha got to his feet. "Look here Kagome! If you use that command one more time-" 

Kagome placed a small kiss on Inuyasha's lips. "Sometimes you deserve it. I'm sorry." 

Trying to hide his blush, Inuyasha turned his head up and tried to look indignant. Rin could see his personality hadn't changed much and even his appearance didn't seem as though it had changed drastically either. He was taller and seemed to be a bit more built. His hair, much longer now, trailed down to his thighs. He had traded his red hakama and haori in for black ones. There appeared to be a large inu-youkai decorated on it in red and white, but Rin was unsure. Kagome, whom she remembered only a little, wore an orange under kimono and a white over kimono with green leaves printed on her sleeves. The same print decorated her orange obi. Her hair was a thick and wavy black that curled at the ends above her waist. They made, in Rin's opinion, a very lovely couple. 

"Hey Rin, its getting late and Inuyasha tells me that the villagers have invited us to stay for the night. Would you like to join us?" 

Rin's first response was to say no and then she thought of those feelings that overtook her when she first saw Inuyasha. Eager to understand them, she agreed to join them. 

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Though Inuyasha and Kagome were quite pleasant and nice, their kindness did nothing to overwhelm the negative feelings boiling inside her. She couldn't explain why she felt them or what was the cause, but there was nothing she could do to stop them. And with those feelings came thoughts, thoughts that circled in her head faster than a wheel on a carriage. Slowly the thoughts fell into order, each one becoming clearer as it did, until finally she had a plan. She wasn't sure if it would work and wasn't sure if she was still sane, but she intended to carry it out. 

"You smell really weird." Inuyasha sat in the doorway of the room, his nose wrinkled. 

"Inuyasha! Don't be so rude!" She smiled at Rin, trying to soften the sharpness of what Inuyasha had said. "Besides, you won't be able to smell much of anything pretty soon." 

"Keh." He eyed the setting sun, knowing that it would take his powers with it. "I can't help it she smells like a million different people. It's disturbing." 

"Its safe." Rin sipped her tea calmly, not at all surprised by Inuyasha's reaction. "It makes it difficult to track my scent. Just a small precaution in case some youkai tries to track me down." 

"Well they'll definitely be thrown off by it." 

Kagome rolled her eyes at Inuyasha and finished off the last of her meal. "What have you been doing since you stopped traveling with Sesshoumaru?" 

Rin set her cup down, no longer interested in its contents. "I've been traveling on my own, learning whatever skills necessary to survive." 

"It must be a lonely life." Kagome began to lie out her bedding. 

"It is, but I enjoy it." Rin rose to her feet. "I am going to take a walk before I go to bed." 

Inuyasha watched Rin walk off before going to sit next to Kagome. "You know, I didn't believe her at first, but I think she really hasn't seen Sesshoumaru in a long time." 

"What reason would she have to lie?" Kagome rose and disappeared behind a screen to change into her pajamas. 

"Keh, because anyone who travels with the likes of Sesshoumaru can't be trusted." 

"I know you don't trust your brother Inuyasha but you have to remember that Sesshoumaru did take care of her. Which reminds me, I'm curious to know how they met." 

"I'm curious to know why the split up." Inuyasha rolled out the bedding given to them by village master. 

"That reason is obvious." 

  
Inuyasha woke sometime later to a strange noise. He sat up slowly, careful not to wake up Kagome. His hand immediately went for his sword just incase what he heard was a youkai. When he saw Rin, his hand relaxed its hold on Tetsusaiga. 

"What are you doing?" 

Rin looked up, pausing for a moment. "I feel closed in. I'm not used to sleeping in doors so I am going to sleep outside." She resumed her efforts in dragging her bedding outside. "Sorry for waking you." 

Inuyasha nodded and settled back down, not giving it a second thought. He watched her settle down just beyond the screen doors before he went back to sleep. It wasn't until he awoke the next morning, with his youkai blood flowing in his veins again, did he realize that the sword lying by his side was not Tetsusaiga. 

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Okay so here is the plan. So far I'm not falling to far behind but I have decided that I am only going to submit a chapter once a week (probably on Saturdays, maybe Fridays depending on how busy my weekends are). I know its a long time to wait because I would never want to wait that long, but I get too distracted during the week to even submit a new chapter. Anyway, I suspect this fic may be a longer than I thought...I hoped to only go to 10 chapters, but I have so much going on in my head that I'm not sure I'll get it all into 5 chapters. But oh well, that's the way things go. 

Shampoo Sakai: That would be a great honor to ME if you translated "Fukai Mori" in another language. By all means, go ahead. Thanks for asking! 


	7. The Present: Chapter 7

  
**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 7_

  
It took Inuyasha a grueling week to find Sesshoumaru. And during that week he thought of thousands of ways to remove each and every limb from his loving brothers body. The hate he felt towards his brother couldn't be described with words. He was more than tired of being harassed because Sesshoumaru wouldn't accept the fact that Tetsusaiga wasn't meant for him. He was tired of fighting for what was his. So tired that he swore that this time, he wouldn't let Sesshoumaru walk away alive. 

Sesshoumaru was standing calmly in the center of a clearing, well aware that Inuyasha was heading his way. So when his brother stepped into the clearing he merely stared at him. "Inuyasha...to what do I owe this displeasure?" 

Inuyasha growled and tried to swallow the taste of disgust in his mouth. "Don't play stupid with me Sesshoumaru. You know exactly why I am here. So where is it? Where is she, where is Rin? I still can't believe you would stoop so low as to use a human. You're really pathetic." 

Something stirred inside of him when Inuyasha mentioned Rin but the feeling was quickly and easily ignored. "If you came here to convince me to kill you there's no reason to insult me. I would have gladly indulged you." 

"Enough with the bull shit. Hand over Tetsusaiga right now!" 

"Tetsusaiga..." Sesshoumaru eyes traveled down to where Inuyasha usually kept his sword. "What makes you think I have it?" 

Inuyasha growled again. "You sent your little human servant to steal it from me. It was a clever trap, pretending that you two weren't friends anymore just so I would trust her to. Well it worked. But play time is over, I want Tetsusaiga back." 

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. "If you think I would form any type of an alliance with a useless human girl in order to steal Tetsusaiga then you are sadly mistaken. If you allowed yourself to be fooled by a pitiful human then that is your problem not mine." 

Jaken cringed at the words and thought back to the time Sesshoumaru had spoken so cruelly of Rin. When Sesshoumaru had become so hateful towards the girl he did not know but he thought it curious that Rin had stolen Tetsusaiga. "Inuyasha you are a fool! You can't be sure that it was indeed Rin who stole Tetsusaiga. Why would she steal a sword she cannot use?" 

"You know as well as I do that Sesshoumaru would do anything to get his paws on Tetsusaiga and Rin is no exception." 

"Idiot! We haven't seen that wretched girl since she disappeared five years ago so there is no way Sesshoumaru-sama could possibly use her. Get your facts straight before you insult the great Lord Sesshoumaru!" 

"There is no mistaking that the girl I met was Rin. Sure she smelled like a hundred different girls and she was dressed like a peasant, but once we got face to face, there was no mistaking her scent." 

"It doesn't matter! Stop wasting Sesshoumaru-sama's time. Rin ran away after she realized she was just a necessary tool Sesshoumaru-sama needed to be able to use Tetsusaiga. She probably stole it to get revenge on him! But whatever she does has nothing to do with us." 

Jaken crossed his arms matter-of-factly, pleased with himself for setting Inuyasha straight. He nodded, eyes closed, head pointed up like royalty. And then he unfolded his arms nervously when neither Inuyasha nor Sesshoumaru spoke. Peeking out of from under his eyelids, he found both brothers staring at him. He squeaked and started to back up, only to be grabbed by Sesshoumaru. 

Sesshoumaru lifted the toad youkai so that they were face to face. "Explain what you mean by this revenge." 

"I- uh, its just that- what I meant is, it was just a speculation." He feared he was about to lose another year of his life. 

"Explain. My patience is running thin." 

"Rin disappeared shortly after the last time we saw Inuyasha. She asked a lot of questions about Inuyasha and..and about Tetsusaiga. She seemed very curious about them." 

The event clicked in Inuyasha's mind and suddenly everything fell into place. "She heard what you said...That poor girl." 

Sesshoumaru turned his attention back to his brother, not yet understanding what he could have possibly said that fueled Rin's actions. 

"Keh, you don't even remember what you said. Why would you? You could never care about a human's feelings. You told me the _only_ reason you kept her around was so that one day you would be able to use Tetsusaiga. But she heard you...and now she hates you and wants revenge. She wants to make you pay for using her. What better way to piss you off than by stealing the sword you couldn't get your hands on." 

Jaken spoke up quietly, afraid he might be struck. "I was thinking the same thing Sesshoumaru-sama." 

Inuyasha ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "Congratulations Sesshoumaru, you ruined a perfectly innocent girl." He wanted to break something, wanted to break Sesshoumaru. "How the hell am I going to find her?" He turned to walk away. 

Sesshoumaru dropped Jaken as though he were nothing. "You will never find her." 

"Shut up Sesshoumaru. I'll find her eventually. But you are the one who should be looking for her." Inuyasha turned back and sent Sesshoumaru a dirty look. "Though I guess it would be pointless since you would never apologize. Just don't let your conscious eat at you too much. If you have one that is." 

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Inuyasha leaned against the doorway where his two little boys were sleeping soundlessly. The worry he felt ate at him every time he looked at them or even thought of them. They were too young to do any serious fighting and had too little youkai blood to make much of a difference. It was his duty as their father to protect them and their mother but at the moment he felt as powerless as they were with out Tetsusaiga by his side. 

"Inuyasha..." 

He didn't answer when Kagome called him, didn't turn when she placed her hand on his shoulder. His thoughts consumed him. He had spent a month searching for Rin and had absolutely no luck in finding her. He was constantly worried that some hated foe would learn that he no longer had Tetsusaiga and come after him for revenge. Though he trusted in his hanyou abilities, it was easier for him to protect himself and his family with Tetsusaiga. After all, that is why it was crafted. But the constant worry and searching was wearing on him. 

"Inuyasha...I'm worried about you." 

Inuyasha turned and wrapped his arms tightly around Kagome's waist, burying his face against her neck. "If anything happens to you...if anything happens to them...I don't know what I'll do. I have to find Tetsusaiga." 

"Inuyasha..." Kagome squeezed him. "You'll find it eventually, I know you will." 

Inuyasha pulled her away from the boy's room upon sensing that someone was approaching their house. He heard a knock as he slid the screen open. He and Kagome stared down at the small girl, both wondering what she was doing out so late at night. She held up a small envelope. 

"Kagome-sama, this is for you. A girl named Rin told me to bring it to you." 

Kagome quickly grabbed the envelope before Inuyasha could snatch it away. "Arigatou. Did she say anything else? Do you know where she went?" 

The girl shook her head. "She left right after she gave it to me." 

"Arigatou. Now hurry home." Kagome slid the door closed, blocking Inuyasha's way. "Osuwari." 

Inuyasha was slammed into the ground. He growled and pulled himself upright, his eyes shooting fire at his mate. "I fail to understand why I still have to wear this damn rosary and why you find it necessary to use it!" 

"May I read the letter now or do you want to rant some more?" 

Inuyasha sat up and crossed his legs, feeling like a child. "Read it." 

Kagome cleared her throat. " 'By now I am sure you have realized that I am not following your brother's orders and that I acted on my own accord. I have no intention of ever delivering Tetsusaiga into his hands so you have nothing to fear. However, I do have a proposition for you. I will give you Tetsusaiga in return for your brother's sword. Steal Tenseiga and in three days, Tetsusaiga will be yours once more.' Signed by Rin..." She held the letter to Inuyasha. 

He took it from her and rose to his feet. "I will leave in the morning." 

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Sesshoumaru read the letter once more. It greatly displeased him to know the girl was plotting against him, to know she had purposely involved his hated brother Inuyasha. She had stolen Tetsusaiga and now wanted Tenseiga. What could the girl possibly be thinking...what could she be planning? He wanted to learn the true reasons for her actions. 

"Rin obviously wants something from you or at least wants to see you again. So why not indulge her and make up for the cruel things you said." 

Sesshoumaru watched the letter dissolve in his poison claw and said nothing. 

Inuyasha tried to remain calm. "Just hand over Tenseiga and make things easier for us both. You don't even use Tenseiga and I need Tetsusaiga to protect my family. Now I know family and humans mean nothing to you, but you could easily have them both out of your life if you just give me the sword." 

Sesshoumaru slowly reached for his side and pulled out Tenseiga. Without a word, he held it out to Inuyasha who took it cautiously. And then he turned and walked away, leaving in silence before his brother could question him. There were already too many questions that needed answers and he was determined to find them. Rin, he was sure, had most of the answers he needed. 

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sesshorin: I am so glad _someone_ noticed the fact that its been a very long time since Rin has used Sesshoumaru's name. Its always "inu-youkai", or "brother" or anything _but_ Sesshoumaru or even Sesshoumaru-sama. If you check back to previous chapters you'll see she hasn't used his name since she left. I did this on purpose of course and I've been wondering if anyone would notice. =) 

Anyway, I'm glad to get the chapter up a day early. Chapter 8 is coming along kind of slow cause I've been sick. But no worry, I'm better now and I plan to hopefully complete 8 and start and finish 9. This story is gonna have lots of twist as the story draws to a close...I don't know if I mentioned that before. But its gonna be great. Very dramatic. Its funny cause I think more of the end of the story than the middle. I know how I want it to finish out so its just a matter of getting there. Anyway, enough rambling. Hope this chapter was worth the wait and thanks so much for the reviews!!   
-Rabid Anime Gurl 


	8. The Present: Chapter 8

  
**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 8_

  
Inuyasha raced quickly through the forest, rushing to return home. It was the morning of the third day after he had received the letter from Rin, the day he was supposed to meet her and get Tetsusaiga back. He could feel Tenseiga's power at his side and longed for its familiar presence. His hands itched to hold it again, itched to destroy something. He was reminded of time when he had been over zealous when he was finally able to handle Tetsusaiga gain. Full of excitement, he picked up his pace only to skid to a halt when he caught a strange scent. 

After sniffing it out, he found a kimono hanging from a tree. The kimono Rin had been wearing when she stole Tetsusaiga. Folded into one of the sleeves was a letter advising him to go to the mountain south of his current position. Taking the kimono as ordered, he turned and quickly headed in that direction. 

And there at the base of the mountain was Rin. He wouldn't have known it to be her if he hadn't been expecting her to be there. The last time they met she looked like a common villager. But this time she looked like a high ranking general. She wore a kimono with long flowing sleeves and skirt. The skirt was orange, the left sleeve was white, and her right sleeve yellow. She wore a yellow and white obi that she tied at her left side instead of in front or behind her, and it wasn't until he got closer did he realize that she was using the obi to hide the sword at her side. The black chest armor she wore seemed to be tailored to fit only her body. She left her hair down this time and it trailed down to the back of her knees. Her hair was black and much like her armor, provided a dark contrast to her kimono. It was a statement that said she wasn't as sweet and nice as she looked. 

He felt sorry for Sesshoumaru for about a half a second before he got over it. 

"Rin." He nodded to her. 

"Inuyasha." She walked towards him slowly and held out her hand. "I see you've brought a sword...I would like to make sure it is truly Tenseiga." 

Inuyasha handed it and her kimono over slowly, still not sure if he could trust her. "What is with the armor and sword?" It bothered him that it wasn't Tetsusaiga. 

Rin unsheathed the sword slowly, already convinced by the handle that it was indeed Tenseiga. "There are many youkai looking for a snack to have during hibernation." She placed Tenseiga back in its sheath and placed it at her side with the other sword. "Follow me." 

"Right." Startled, Inuyasha quickly followed after Rin when she turned to walk up the mountain path. "Tetsusaiga is up there?" 

"It was the safest place to hide it." 

"I'm grateful that you at least thought to keep it safe." 

"I would not disrespect you further by letting harm come to what is rightfully yours." 

Inuyasha stared at Rin's back feeling completely uncomfortable. In that armor, with two swords at her side, the long flowing hair: she was the female version of Sesshoumaru. And she was nicer. She spoke quietly but there was self-pride and confidence beneath her voice as in Sesshoumaru's. She carried herself in the same manner as well. There was no emotion in her voice, on her face, or in her eyes. It was obvious she inherited these traits from being around Sesshoumaru so much and it made Inuyasha wonder if Sesshoumaru had inherited his traits from their father. 

They were halfway up the mountain when Rin stopped abruptly. She turned slowly and stared over Inuyasha's shoulder. At the base of the mountain stood a figure that appeared to be dressed in all white. It was all she could see but in her minds eye, she knew its every detail from head to toe. _He hasn't changed,_ was all she could think, _he hasn't changed at all._ She told herself that if he hadn't changed physically, then he hadn't changed his personality. He would still be the same hateful creature who had no caring bone in his body. The idea angered her until she was filled with hate...hate that would not allow her to forgive him. 

Sesshoumaru stared up at his brother and the girl behind him. With his youkai vision he was able too see the empty expression on the girls face. It was Rin, but it was not Rin. It was not the little girl he had unconsciously thought she would still be. She was no longer a girl but an independent woman who had grown up without his knowledge. She had tossed him out of her life like an old kimono that would never have the privilege of seeing her grow up. He had given her life and this was her thanks. Now she had his sword. His anger quickly boiled into hate...hate that would not allow him to forgive her. 

Inuyasha followed Rin's eyes and couldn't hide his surprise. "What the hell is he doing here!?" 

"Inuyasha...you betray me? You would take Tetsusaiga and he would have Tenseiga once again. This I cannot allow." 

"No! Rin, listen to me, I didn't know he was coming here." Inuyasha took a pleading step forward only to be met with an explosion of gas. He quickly covered his noise but it was already to late. His enhanced sense of smell was bombarded with the most horrible scent imaginable. It burned both his eyes and throat. Only when he stumbled backwards and lost his sense of reality was he able to escape the torture. 

Rin did not waste a single second after the gas bomb exploded. She ran up the mountain, stopping only to grab the ropes she had hidden beneath a stone. One lead to a pile of gunpowder and kerosene, which she quickly lit. The other was tied to a second pile of the same substances. But this rope she tossed over the side of the mountain. As the first pile exploded, she slid her way down the rope and off the mountain. 

The gas began to clear. Inuyasha coughed, slowly gaining hold of himself. He was so out of it that he barely heard the explosion in the distance. When the boulders came tumbling towards him, he quickly got to his feet and ran down the mountain. With his lungs clogged with gas and smoke, he knew he would not be able to deal with the simplest obstacle. Through half closed eyelids he saw his brother walking towards him, saw the sword in his hands. And he dropped to the ground just as Sesshoumaru was in mid-swing. 

There was a second explosion and another avalanche of boulders. Sesshoumaru destroyed those as well. He didn't wait for the smoke to clear as he walked forward. The groan Inuyasha made when he stepped on him was very pleasing at the moment. He knew Rin was probably gone by now. The three distractions, though easily taken care of, would give her enough time to escape. And with her scent so hard to trace, she definitely had the advantage. 

"Thanks a lot Sesshoumaru. Now neither of us our swords." 

Sesshoumaru stared over the mountain, standing where Rin had been before she disappeared. "Fool. She was planning this even if I hadn't come. She never intended to give Tetsusaiga to you." 

"Yeah yeah yeah." Inuyasha knew it was true. "But what could she possibly want with both swords? I understand why she hates Tetsusaiga. So why this fuss over Tenseiga?" 

He considered why for a brief moment. "Tenseiga returned her life when she would have been lost it to the underworld. She was the first to witness its powers." He jumped over the mountain. 

"And then her life became nothing more than a tool to help you get Tetsusaiga. I don't know if I've said it before, but you've done a great job ruining Rin's life." Inuyasha followed his brother, feeling he was going to lose his sanity soon. 

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The inu-youkai brothers reluctantly agreed to work together to find Rin. After all, one and a half powerful youkai noses would be better than one. They also agreed, despite Inuyasha's protests, to wait until winter was over before they began their search. Rin had successfully escaped them and seemed to disappear. And during the winter months she would be less likely to move around and offer them any type of hint to her whereabouts. It was best to wait until she was active enough to lead them to her. 

And so the months went by and both brothers made good use of the time. Sesshoumaru deployed small demons to learn what they could about Rin. He was convinced that she hadn't been able to get by completely alone. She had to have some kind of help from villagers. He need only to flesh out those people. Inuyasha spent his every waking moment with his sons Kazuo and Ito. Though he hated to admit it, he believed that it would take them some time to find Rin. She was too clever and resourceful to be easily found. She would give them as much hell as she could. 

And for two months into spring, she did just that. 

Sesshoumaru watched his brother play with his children, his patience dissipating with each second that went by. It was bad enough that he was engaged in a failing search for one single human girl. But to make matters worse he had to deal with his hanyou brother and his disgusting love for his family. His brother insisted on stopping to see them once a month for the entire day. And Sesshoumaru was forced to allow it for fear that he would kill Inuyasha if he kept talking about them. And so, for an entire day, he had to be in a smelly human village and watch his brother's smelly human family. He despised Rin even more with every passing second. 

"You know Sesshoumaru, you have no right to be angry." Inuyasha rushed after Sesshoumaru who was moving entirely to fast now that they had finally departed. "This entire situation is your fault." 

"Your logic is misplaced, brother." 

"Keh, you like to believe that so you can pretend you're not wrong. This all started when you chased Rin off with your hurtful words." 

"This Sesshoumaru did no wrong when he spoke his mind. Furthermore, the feelings of a lowly creature such as a human are not my concern." 

"If Rin could use Tetsusaiga, she'd run you through with it for saying that." Inuyasha dodged a tree and ran next to Sesshoumaru. "Why is it that you hate humans so much? Is it because father fell in love with a human? You would punish the entire human race because you didn't like father's actions. I'm sure father would say that your feelings towards his actions 'are not my concern'," he mimicked Sesshoumaru as best he could. 

Sesshoumaru pushed forward, ignoring his brother. 

Inuyasha kept up and spoke more seriously this time, keeping his eyes trained ahead of him. "I know you don't mean the things you say about Rin, you just say them so no one knows that you actually care about her. For someone who is so high and mighty and doesn't seem to care about what anyone thinks, you sure are really worried about what may be said if word gets out that you cared for a little harmless girl." 

Sesshoumaru said nothing once again and with the subject dropped, they continued on their search. 

They traveled into the night with sleep out of the question. Their eyes were ever alert, their noses were searching for their target, and their legs moved at an incredible speed. All of their frustrations pushed them on past villages that would have taken humans at least a week to journey to. And perhaps it was excitement that pushed them as well. They were on a hunt and both brothers secretly believed they were quickly closing in on their prey. Triumph was in the air, victory was upon their lips; both fed and replenished them like no amount of sleep or food ever could. Even now there was something familiar up ahead. They had tasted this scent upon the air before. It was there, just beyond the trees to their right. A village was near by. What if they lost the trail in the village? The taste of bitter failure eroded their tongues, quickly replacing victory. 

Inuyasha came to a screeching halt, nearly stumbling over his own feet. Sesshoumaru stopped with the grace of a swan. 

"You're wasting time Inuyasha. It isn't Rin." 

Inuyasha stared in the distance where the familiar scent was coming from. "I know but...This scent is always either behind or ahead of us but its always on the same path as Rin. It's been that way for a month. Don't you find that odd." 

Sesshoumaru said nothing. Though it was true, he had no interest in dealing with any more humans. 

Understanding Sesshoumaru's silence as a sign he agreed, Inuyasha dashed off quickly towards the group of humans. They were traveling with a carriage large enough to hold only one person. Two horses were drawing it with men of some army leading them. There were two soldiers following from the rear and two more leading the front. Each soldier had a sword and a set of bow and arrows. What they were transporting that was so important was unclear, but Inuyasha was determined to find out. 

The village was closer than Inuyasha had originally believed and upon arriving, the soldiers quickly began gathering the young women in the village. Some families were prepared, others were unwilling. But each family who had a daughter between the ages of fourteen and eighteen were ordered to bring them forward by order of "the Emperor". A girl was chosen; mother and daughter cried out. The father detained his wife and one soldier entered the house with the girl. Suspecting something fowl was about to occur, Inuyasha made his way closer to village, intent on putting an end to it. But just as he was about to appear from behind the house, they came out. The girl quietly explained that she was honored to go and that her mother shouldn't worry and though she would be a concubine, they would still receive a bride wealth. 

Inuyasha had heard enough. 

Sesshoumaru looked up as Inuyasha returned. "I am to assume by your dumbfounded expression that you didn't learn anything and only wasted precious time." 

"I'm not sure what to make of the complete situation but I think with a little more information, we'll be able to understand why we have had so much luck tracking Rin's scent. Hell, it might even make our search a little easier. But first, we need to pay a visit to a friend of mine. I'm sure Miroku will have the answers to my questions." 

Before Sesshoumaru could protest, Inuyasha quickly took off in the direction of the exterminator's village. 

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Surprised? You should be. I was debating not updating until Saturday but considering I've got chapters 9 and 10 done, I thought I'd be nice and update early. I wrote like mad this weekend. Chapter 11 is in the works right now. Depending on how things go this week in school and how far I get on 11, I might update again before Saturday. Only time will tell. Enjoy!   
-Rabid Anime Gurl 


	9. The Present: Chapter 9

  
**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 9_

  
"Inuyasha! What brings you here? And with Sesshoumaru..." Miroku looked at Inuyasha, hoping for an explanation. 

"I'll explain it to you later. But so not to make Sesshoumaru angrier than he already is, I have some questions about an emperor in your area." Inuyasha noticed how Miroku's youngest son Nobu clung to his father. The boy, who was usually glad to see Inuyasha, looked out fearfully from his father's arms. 

"Aah, Nobu let me go." Miroku pried his son from his arm and sent him off to his mother. "Children are such a hassle as I'm sure you know Inuyasha." Trying to lighten the mood, he turned to Sesshoumaru. "And what about you Sesshoumaru? Have you had any children? Rin told me you two weren't on speaking terms let alone _those_ terms, but I doubt even you could resist such a beauty. Any girl at the age of seventeen who could have an entire village of young men wrapped around her finger could surely snag you." 

Inuyasha may have been frozen in shock upon hearing Miroku's words, but Sesshoumaru reacted quickly and grabbed Miroku by his collar. "What do you know of Rin?" 

More than caught off guard, Miroku could do no more than stutter. Inuyasha snapped back into reality and helped Miroku out of Sesshoumaru's angry hold. "Just wait a damn minute Sesshoumaru. Give him a chance to explain before you start trying to rip his head off." 

Miroku straightened his kimono out and tried to regain his dignity. "Perhaps we should go inside. These people can handle you Inuyasha but I think Sesshoumaru is a bit too much. Then I'll tell you everything you want to hear." He led them to his home. 

"Where's Sango?" 

"She's out training some girls. You know she'll be angry that you came here with out bringing the wife and kids. Kagome will be angry as well." 

Inuyasha's ears flattened at the idea of being reprimanded by two emotional females. "You're right." Inuyasha stopped and called for Kirara and sent her off to pick up Kagome and their children. 

That out of the way, the three men sat together and Miroku began to tell his story. "Rin was here about three years ago. Apparently she has a good memory since she remembered that Kohaku had a sister who was from an exterminator village. Enough asking and snooping around led her here. She told us that she was no longer traveling with Sesshoumaru so she was looking for more ways to protect herself. I don't see why she came to us though. She was quite good with the bow and arrow and had learned a few techniques using gunpowder from some of the few advanced armies. But I believe with Sango's help she made some pretty powerful gases that are sure to make any youkai that crosses her very regretful. She only stayed for a month." 

"That's it? Did she leave anything here that belonged to her?" Inuyasha was anxious for something more than such useless information. Though now he understood why her gas had such an incredible affect on him. 

"No, but I believe we have a picture of her. Ever since Kagome gave Sango that polaroid camera thing she's gone crazy with taking pictures of the children." Miroku rose and returned shortly with a few pictures. "May I ask why you both seem to have an interest in Rin?" 

"She has Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga." Inuyasha held up a hand before Miroku could speak. "Please don't ask." 

Sesshoumaru looked through the pictures and saw one that caught his eye. She was standing by herself with the evening casting an orange haze upon her face. Her kimono was a bold purple tied with a red obi. Though she wore her hair in a high ponytail it still waved freely behind her as if refusing to be tamed. He had seen her before, but it was only now that he saw what Miroku meant when he said she was a beauty. Even with his incredible eyesight he had not noticed the intensity in her eyes that was clearly captured by this picture. They were brighter and rounder and nothing like the childish brown eyes he still pictured in his mind. And they were also eyes that showed no emotion, even though she was smiling in the picture. How had Rin become such an emotionless shell? 

"She rarely smiled and when she did you could tell she didn't mean it because the smile never quite reached her eyes." Miroku spoke quietly and seriously, meaning every word he said. "It was hard for me to believe at first that you two had truly parted ways. She was so very much like you in the way she carried herself and acted that I thought it impossible for her to acquire your traits without being around you. But she said she hadn't seen you since she was fourteen." 

"Hai. That was about the time she disappeared.." 

Wanting to change the subject before Miroku asked too many questions, Inuyasha spoke up. "We've been looking for her for two months and we've finally got a solid trail. I noticed that the army of this Emperor guy seems to be on the same trail. I was thinking that maybe she's trying to stay ahead of them so she won't get caught." 

"Hmm." Miroku pondered this for a moment. "Makes sense. A girl as pretty as she is would certainly be taken by Emperor Yoshihisa. From what I've heard he's been gathering women from the countryside to be his concubines and servants. There will be eleven women in total: ten will serve him and one will become his wife. His castle is about a two-day journey from here. From what we have seen from our watch towers he has gathered at least eight women." 

"Nine if you count the one I saw today." 

Sesshoumaru spoke up finally. "Rin will not be caught by those men." 

"She has been able to allude two youkai, of course she won't get caught. But this works to our advantage. She has no choice but to move forward because if she turns back and goes around the Emperor's army, she'll run into us. I'm sure she knows we're hot on her trail." 

Sesshoumaru rose to his feet. "Tomorrow we'll make our way to the castle. But we cannot cross the path Rin is taking. She'll end up heading directly towards us." He walked out. 

Miroku jumped to his feet and quickly followed after Sesshoumaru. "Oi! Where are you going?" 

"What concern is it of yours?" Sesshoumaru stopped and turned slowly. "Inuyasha's wretched family will be here soon and I am sure he'll want to remain here for the night. I've had enough of human company for the day." He walked away. 

"He'll scare the villagers." 

"Let him be, at least he isn't complaining about me staying for the night." Inuyasha disappeared into Miroku's house, ready for some dinner. 

Sesshoumaru went to the top of the mountain and sat under the sky until the moon was high above him. He pulled Rin's picture from his sleeve and stared at her sad face, trying to understand what had happened to the happy girl that had been his Rin. 

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She ran, cursing under her breath at her luck. It never failed. She always seemed to get into trouble no matter how good things were going. If she had known she would regret staying in the village an extra day, she would have left when she had originally planned. But she should have known something was wrong. The family she had been staying with was _too_ nice to her. Still, she hadn't realized it until it was too late. Until Emperor Yoshihisa's army had arrived. 

Rin had been avoiding them with ease this entire time, always staying two steps ahead of them. But they had advanced faster than they usually did and the entire village was eager to give a stranger instead of one of their own. Now she was running desperately towards the river to make her escape. And there it was, the glorious river with the moon glistening on its surface. She was close, but not nearly close enough. An arrow pierced her arm and as she damned the men for their impeccable aim, she pulled it out. It was smaller than most arrows and only sharp enough to pierce through the top level of her flesh. Still, it hurt like hell. Her body froze as if refusing to move from the pain. She felt herself getting heavier and heavier as everything around her became a blur. 

She tossed the arrow aside with all her remaining strength. She realized now that there was some type of substance on the arrow that would sedate her long enough for the men to come take her away. But with her blood and scent lingering around the area, she knew, as she slipped into unconsciousness, that Inuyasha and his brother were her only hope. 

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It was early in the afternoon when Sesshoumaru returned the next day and he wasted no time. He had been exploring the forest surrounding the village the entire morning. Something had called to him, awakening him from the sleep that he rarely indulged in. He sensed that something was not right and guided by it, he found Rin's scent. And mixed with it was the scent of the men from Yoshihisa's army. Rin had been captured. Her blood on the arrow proved it. And if the strange scent lingering on the arrow killed her, there would a world of pain to pay. 

"Inuyasha." He tossed the arrow to his brother who immediately picked up on its scent. "Let's go." 

Inuyasha rose to his feet quickly, full of excitement. "We've got her now! I have to go Kagome. We should be back by tomorrow." 

"I'll go with you." Miroku quickly followed after the two inu-youkai. 

They raced quickly across the empty field, night slowly approaching. Miroku kept up as best he could but noted Inuyasha's complaints that Sesshoumaru was going to fast. Obviously ignoring them, Sesshoumaru soon disappeared into the distance. Frustrated, Inuyasha stopped and allowed Miroku to climb upon his back. But by the time he had caught up with Sesshoumaru, he was already on the castle grounds in hot pursuit of Rin. 

Two guards burst through the screen door, quickly putting a halt to the ceremony. Emperor Yoshihisa turned with his wife to be leaning on his arm. The other women, obviously drugged with something, gave the creature that walked over the guards the most attention they could. Sesshoumaru glanced over the women quickly as he walked towards Yoshihisa and froze when he realized the girl on his arm was Rin. 

No, it was no girl; it was a woman. A very beautiful woman that sent a strange sensation up his spine and nearly all his blood to his loins. He of course, gained control of himself before he lost it to his most primal instincts. But the way she looked at him made it difficult to gain control. Mouth slightly open, eyes soft with..with pleasure...as if he had touched her in the most intimate of places. Surely the look was a result of the strange substance he had smelled on the arrow. She wore a white silk kimono decorated with gold stitching of a blooming flower. It was tied so tightly with her gold sash that it showed the curves of her hips. Her hair cascaded freely down her back in what appeared to be endless waves. Her face had been dusted with some sort of gold substance that made her cheekbones stand out and her eyes appear fuller. She looked like a goddess just begging to be taken and if they had been alone, he was convinced he would have had his way with her regardless of whether she was human or youkai. 

"What is the meaning of this? What do you think you are doing, interrupting my marriage ceremony like this? Guards! Guards! Get this creature out of my presence!" Yoshihisa stared over Sesshoumaru's shoulder expecting his men to come at any moment. But instead another white haired creature and a monk appeared. 

"I have heard enough." Sesshoumaru moved quickly, seemingly disappearing for a split second before appearing in front of Yoshihisa. With one swift punch the Emperor was sent flying into the wall. Sesshoumaru knelt down as Rin fell and caught her with his arm before she hit the ground. He laid her down gently, unable to tear his eyes from hers. 

Inuyasha stared, quickly growing uncomfortable by the moment. He cleared his throat and let go of Miroku. "Wait until I tell Sango." 

Miroku froze his outstretched hand before he could touch the closest woman. "Inuyasha, you wouldn't!" 

"I will unless you get it together and help me get these women out to a room. They need something to get rid of whatever drug is in their body. But if I see you grope ONE girl, I'm telling Sango." 

Soon order once again fell upon the castle. To their surprise the top army general had overthrown the emperor. The general had wanted the emperors powers simply because he could have many wives. But power was restored to the true Yoshihisa and he quickly ordered an antidote for the women. The women were quickly dressed in their own clothing and would depart in the morning for their villages in the morning. They would rest until then. 

Sesshoumaru returned to the room where the ceremony had been taking place only moments ago. What he had felt plagued him like a flea on a cat. He didn't understand it and didn't like it, but he could not doubt that at that moment, everything between he and Rin had changed once again. It was then that he realized that the woman he had locked eyes with was not the girl he had once considered his daughter. That girl had disappeared years ago. He was dealing with a different Rin. He was dealing with a woman, a woman, he admitted reluctantly, that he was attracted to. 

A bell went off, as if warning him against such thoughts. But it wasn't just a bell in his head, it was a bell being rang by one of the castle guards. He walked as quickly as he would allow himself to where all the noise was being made. As he approached he realized it was the room where the women had been staying for the night. And as he watched Inuyasha and Miroku dash off, he already knew what he was to expect when he stepped into the room. 

Rin was gone. 

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sesshourin: I know the hate is unreasonable, but think of it this way. When people part on bad terms, they often make the problem more than it is. I hope you know what I mean. But trust me, the reasons will be for their unreasonable hate will be revealed.   
Rabid Anime Gurl 


	10. The Present: Chapter 10

  
**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 10_

  
"Rin." 

She stopped abruptly as if her body had been frozen by the tone in his voice. It amazed her that even now, after nearly five years of separation, he still had power over her. She knew a command when she heard one and knew his angry command very well. There would be no running away this time. She knew that one day she would encounter him, would have to face him, but she wasn't sure she was prepared for it. But she had no choice. From this moment on, she would be seeing a lot more of him. So she turned around slowly and locked her eyes with his golden orbs. 

"Did you think your little trick would work? Merely switching places with someone will not throw me." 

"It did work even if you did catch me. After all, Inuyasha _is_ chasing after the woman I switched places with. And you even followed after him long enough to give me the opportunity to escape so it seems you were tricked as well." 

"You insult my intelligence. Did you really think I wouldn't find you even if you did escape?" 

She arched a brow. "I knew you would find me eventually, I never doubted that for a second. But if you are insulted because I was able to predict you it is not my fault." 

He was taken aback by the audacity of her words. He was already frustrated and she was only making it worse. It took all his effort not to snap at her. "Then enough of the games. You will take me to Tenseiga and if you make another attempt to escape, this Sesshoumaru will not be so kind." 

Rin bowed deeply and spoke in a somewhat mocking tone. "What ever you say." 

His hand twitched and the only thing that saved her from his wrath was the entrance of his brother. 

"You!" Inuyasha stomped over to Rin. "You're really starting to annoy me!" 

"Yes, I'm sure." Rin linked her arm through Inuyasha's and walked over to Miroku. "It is nice to see you again Miroku. How are the children? I hope we will be returning to the village tonight." 

Sesshoumaru stared as the trio walked away, talking as though they had known each other for years. He pinched the bridge of his nose, already foreseeing that he would be put through even more hell until he and Rin parted ways again. It appeared the woman was determined to do everything in her power to push him over the edge. His patience was already running thin and his hormones were trying to break through his control. Yes, hell on earth had just begun. 

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They left early the next morning. Rin led the way with Sesshoumaru following closely behind her. Kagome and Inuyasha kept their distance behind them, too uncomfortable with the tension to risk being caught in the violence that was sure to erupt. And yet the day ended uneventfully and the only thing they had to deal with was the awkward silence. Rin and Sesshoumaru, however, pretended as though there was nothing wrong. And nothing was wrong until it was time to rest for the night. 

"We're wasting time. Are humans so weak that they _must_ rest every night?" Sesshoumaru watched as Rin and Inuyasha prepared a fire. Kagome was setting up her tools to prepare a meal. 

"I see you still loathe humans." Once the fire was started Rin rose to her feet and looked over at Sesshoumaru. "I always found it strange considering you _look_ so human. Your eyes and ears may be shaped differently, you may have fangs where we do not, your nails may be longer, but you have human-like hands and feet. You can't hate us to much if you want to look like us." She inclined her head and sent him a mischievous smile. "I'm going to catch some fish." And then she turned and walked away. 

Kagome and Inuyasha immediately stopped what they were doing, trying to fully comprehend what they had just heard. Surely Rin had not really just called Sesshoumaru a human and walked away as though she were _allowed_ to insult him without being reprimanded. But when Sesshoumaru growled - something Inuyasha had _never_ heard him do - and followed after her with a dangerous look in his eyes, they knew they heard right. So they both sat there, utterly frozen, trying to decide if they should do something. 

Sesshoumaru grabbed Rin's arm roughly and turned her to face him. "_I_ am **nothing** like a human and if you continue to speak to me as though I am your equal I will make you regret it." 

She pulled her arm from his hold and backed away. "You do not own me so I will speak to you the way I wish. And the only thing I regret is stumbling upon a beaten youkai all those years ago." She hiked up her kimono and stepped into the river and began trying to catch some fish. 

"You don't mean that..." Sesshoumaru was taken aback once again. "What is wrong with you? You've become so hateful. You are not the girl I once knew." 

"That girl grew up and realized the world isn't as wonderful as she believed it to be. Now if you'll excuse me, I am busy." She tossed one fish out of the water. 

Sesshoumaru watched her for a moment before disappearing into the forest. 

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The tension had eased the next day but the silence remained just the same. Inuyasha seemed not to mind the silence at all but it began to bother Kagome more and more. She was a woman and as such she knew exactly what was going on. It was clear to her that Rin was still hurting over what Sesshoumaru had said all those years ago. She had closed the wound when she left to live on her own but seeing Sesshoumaru again reopened it. In her pain and anger she lashed out at Sesshoumaru, seeking to make him understand what she was going through. But Kagome was afraid Sesshoumaru just wasn't getting it and they would continue to bicker more and more. And two people who obviously cared deeply about each other should not bicker. It amused her that they reminded her of her and Inuyasha's past relationship. 

Still, she was determined to help put it to an end. 

Kagome caught up with Rin and started an innocent conversation. Sure that she would have _something_ nice to say about him, Kagome brought up Sesshoumaru. "I was wondering, how did you and Sesshoumaru meet. If you don't mind me asking that is.." 

Rin hated thinking of the past, but she figured the story needed to come out sooner or later. "When I was five I saw my family murdered by bandits. No one would take me in because I had become mute, so I lived on my own. And then one day when I was six I found an injured youkai lying in the forest. I felt sorry for him because I knew what it was like to be alone and hurting, so I decided to help him. I brought him fish and water, then plants when he told me he didn't eat human food. Then he said he didn't need anything. Of course by then I was out of ideas, but I still wanted to help. I returned the next day with fresh bruises from a recent beating from the village men and he asked me what had happened. I was surprised, but happy at the same time because no one had ever cared enough to ask about me..." She paused, remembering the happy smile she had given him.   
"I went home after that. There was a man in my little shack helping himself to my things until a group of wolves came. Their master came and retrieved a shikon shard from the man. And then he disappeared, leaving his wolves to fill their bellies with as many humans as they liked." 

Kagome gasped when she made the connection. "Kouga-kun's wolves? That was your village? We arrived there to late to stop them..." Kagome clearly remembered the scattered and bloody bodies. "How did you escape?" 

"Well...I didn't. I made it out of the village, but the wolves still caught up to me before..." She paused, not really wanting to continue. "I was trying to get to the youkai I had found. For some reason I thought I could be safe with him. But I never made it." 

Kagome looked at Rin, trying to understand. "...You didn't escape and you didn't make it back to Sesshoumaru?" When Rin shook her head, Kagome recalled what Inuyasha had told her about Tenseiga and Sesshoumaru. "Tenseiga brought you back to life..." 

"That is what I learned many years later. Jaken told me that I was only revived to test Tenseiga's powers. Lucky for me the test was a success." 

Not knowing what to say, Kagome looked at the ground and thought they had had enough conversation for one day. 

Behind them, Sesshoumaru thought the same thing. He was amazed that Rin could find a way to insult him whenever she spoke. In her eyes he was the bad guy and it seemed she was determined to make everyone believe the same. And of course that was an easy effort. Inuyasha detested him, he disgusted Kagome and Rin was the innocent victim of a cruel and selfish inu-youkai. He would not allow the lies to continue and would certainly not allow her to continue disrespecting him. If it was war Rin wanted then this Sesshoumaru would gladly indulge her. 

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Please review! 


	11. The Present: Chapter 11

  
**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 11_

  
"We've arrived." 

Rin pointed to the waterfall. In her mind she could already see the cavern behind it and all the elements of home it held. For once in the past three days, she was happy. Anxious to be among the comforts of home, she quickly made her way over the side of the bridge before anyone could protest. In the five years that she had spent going back and forth the rugged path leading to the cavern it now took her under a minute to make it there. 

"It will be easier for you to jump down from there. I know it's hard to see but if you grab right here, you'll find it sturdy enough to hang on to," she gestured to the spot casually and then continued on her way. 

Sesshoumaru wasted no time in following after Rin when she disappeared behind the waterfall. Once inside, his eyes adjusted quickly to the dark, but before he could make out anything, he was blinded by a bright light. Readjusting his eyes again, he stared around the cavern, surprised by what he saw. Never would he have expected to find such a large cavern behind a waterfall and at such an odd unreachable height. And even with the all the barrels that lined the right side, it was still spacious enough for at least two people to lie down side by side. The back of the cavern widened quite a bit. Half the space had makeshift bedding and the other half was obviously used as a cooking area. 

Rin lit the wood she had set before she left with her torch. "It is a little dusty. I have not been here in a while." 

"What is this Rin?" Kagome looked in the barrels closets to the cavern entrance and saw that two were filled with arrows. 

"This is home," she replied softly. 

"Well Tetsusaiga ain't here so what the hell are we doing here?" 

Rin lifted the lid from one of the barrels and used the water in it to fill a pot. "I'll explain over dinner." She lifted another lid from a different barrel and scooped out rice and put it into the pot. "Kagome do you mind helping me?" 

"No of course not." Kagome rushed over quickly. "Hey Inuyasha, would you mind catching some fish?" 

"Keh. Fine," and he quickly disappeared. 

Within under an hour dinner was prepared and everyone except Sesshoumaru was sitting around the fire. Annoyed, Rin looked over at him, determined to get him to join them. 

"I understand you don't eat human food, but this conversation concerns you as much as it does Inuyasha. This is something you must hear. I promise you will not die or catch a disease by simply sitting with us." 

Saying nothing, Sesshoumaru walked over and leaned against a wall behind Inuyasha. 

Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably before speaking. "Exactly what are we going to talk about? We all know you wanted Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga to get revenge on Sesshoumaru. You've probably been planning this since he ran you off." 

"Revenge? What a silly idea. I wasted nearly half of my life following your brother around, why would I waste the rest of it plotting revenge against him?" Rin shook her head. "No, revenge was never my intention. When I saw you Inuyasha, something inside my head just clicked and I took Tetsusaiga. It was only until after I visited Toutousai did I decide to go after Tenseiga." 

Inuyasha nearly choked on his food. "Nani? Toutousai had a part in this?" 

Rin sipped her tea calmly. "Hai. In fact, he has had a very large part in this." 

"Why should Toutousai help _you_ take the swords _he_ created into your possession?" Sesshoumaru thought of the man who had denied making him a sword equal to Tetsusaiga's power. 

"Because he agreed that you and Inuyasha were not yet worthy of the swords in his eyes nor would you be in your father's eyes," she met Sesshoumaru's eyes before speaking again. "I personally thought that such dangerous swords should not be in the hands of any youkai, especially yours." 

"Not worthy?" Inuyasha slammed his fist into the ground. "I've learned to use each of Tetsusaiga's techniques and then some! How am I not worthy?" 

"He agreed that _you_ were worthy. But your problem is you depend entirely to much on Tetsusaiga," she poured more tea for everyone. "And as for you," she met Sesshoumaru's eyes again. "Not only are you unworthy, but you do not rely enough on Tenseiga. You greatly underestimate its powers. I'm not surprised though, I doubt you'll ever be able to use its full powers." 

"Perhaps I chose not to use its full powers because you were unworthy of witnessing them. But _this_ Sesshoumaru is not surprised, I doubt you are capable of thinking of it that way." Sesshoumaru turned his eyes away from Rin. 

Rin narrowed her eyes, unprepared for Sesshoumaru's remark and for the sting it brought. She continued nonetheless. "Toutousai believed this would be a great opportunity for you both to learn from. So we took Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga to Mount Imadoki and Toutousai placed a spell that allowed their powers to erect a barrier. In order to get through the barrier you will have to accept your sword with all of your heart and only then will the sword allow you to get through." 

"Keh, I've got nothing to worry about then." Inuyasha resumed stuffing his face. 

"I'm curious." Sesshoumaru spoke up again. "How did you know Toutousai created our swords and how were you able to find him? Why did he not confiscate Tetsusaiga?" 

"To find Toutousai I just had to ask around. There aren't many who do not request his services. As for knowing about him, Jaken-sama has a rather bad habit of saying too much when you were not around." Despite herself, she smiled, remembering the little toad that complained too much. "When I found Toutousai, I told him of how you used me all those years. He was disappointed, but not surprised by your behavior. He knew you were willing to do anything to get Tetsusaiga. As far as he was concerned it was better off in my hands than in yours or Inuyasha's." 

"I see. He was simply another individual you have convinced to take pity upon you. Tell me Rin, do you enjoy playing victim?" 

Her eyes widened at his words. "What exactly do you mean by that?" 

"I mean you are not as innocent as you like people to believe. You stole Tetsusaiga, you found Toutousai, and you convinced him to help you punish it's owner. You did the same with Tenseiga. You are nothing more than a devious woman out to make everyone believe you deserve all of their pity." 

Rin rose to her feet, appalled by his accusations. "I seek pity from no one. And though my intentions may not have been good in the beginning, Toutousai and I have a purpose for our actions." 

Sesshoumaru pushed himself from the wall, amazed that they were having such a pointless conversation. "What purpose is there in wasting my time searching for you and retrieving what is rightfully mine?" 

She let out a frustrated noise. "That is _just_ like you. If it isn't on your agenda, it doesn't have a purpose. Especially if it involves a human. You are completely self-absorbed." 

"How is it that _I_ am self-absorbed when it is you who made this entire situation about **you**?" He gestured to her for emphasis. 

"Regardless of how you feel, that was never my intention. Both you and Inuyasha have something to learn from this and whether or not you choose to understand the lesson is not my concern." 

"Before you seek to teach this Sesshoumaru anything, you should learn a lesson in respect and maturity." 

"I have no reason to respect you and I believe I am mature enough. What you think does not matter." 

Sesshoumaru laughed, surprising everyone. "Mature? Tell me, _Rin_, if you are mature, then why have you refused to address me by my _name_? Three days we've been traveling and not once have you allowed my name to grace your lips." 

Inuyasha, who had been watching with amusement, spoke up at Sesshoumaru's comment. "Keh! I just noticed that. Even in that letter you wrote me you didn't even mention his name. So Sesshoumaru, how does it feel to be so hated that she won't even say your name?" 

"Silence, you worthless hanyou," he spoke harshly and resisted the urge to hit him. "Answer the question Rin." 

"As I've said before, I do not respect you. And if you find disrespect in my disuse of your name, all the better. If you think I am being immature, then I am. Either way, I will not change for you." 

Rin turned away before he could speak and sat unceremoniously on her bedding. Picking up a piece of fabric, she concentrated on sewing and putting Sesshoumaru out of her mind. 

Sesshoumaru clinched his teeth and spared her one last look before walking away. He jumped from the ledge and transformed into a bright white light. He traveled up to the top of the mountain where the water tumbled over the edge. Returning to his true form, he sat, contemplating his situation with Rin. 

She fascinated him in the most frustrating way. 

When she was a small girl she would never have spoken to him in such a manner, would never have dared to stand up to him let alone raise her voice. She had changed so much in his absence and though he hated her at first for not allowing him to be a part of her life, he did not mind so much anymore. He had been a part of her adolescent life as a father figure, but now he was no more of a father to her than he was to Jaken. She was no longer the girl he had considered his child. She was simply..a woman. A woman he had met only two days ago for the very first time. 

She was a woman who had just confirmed his suspicions. Rin _was_ indeed determined to push him over the edge, to get him riled up. He had never acted so out of character until that evening. That was what she wanted. She knew the only emotion he would ever show would be anger and disgust and hate. That was how she could make him look like the bad guy. Though dealing with her would frustrate him to no end, he would not allow it. This Sesshoumaru would not let Rin get the better of him. 

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They left at dawn but to Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's disappointment, they stopped in a village near Rin's home. They approached a house located on the outskirts of the village and were asked to wait before they got to close. Rin excused herself and was almost immediately met by two small girls. 

"Rin-sama! You've returned." Akane bowed as best she could with the little girl in her arms. 

A rare smile graced Rin's lips, one that reached her eyes. She took Yuriko from Akane and bounced the two year old on her hip. "Of course I've returned, but I'm afraid I can't stay long. However, I brought something for you." Rin handed the yukuta she had finished sewing the night before to Akane. 

"Rin-chan, it's so beautiful! Arigatou!" She bowed again. 

"Why don't you go try it on?" Rin smiled after the girl as she ran inside. 

"Rin." Saori came out with a basket full of clothing. "You really didn't have to make her the yukata." 

"I didn't have to, I wanted to. How are you, Saori-sama?" Rin bowed deeply to the woman who had become so much like a second mother. 

"I am fine. I see you've brought some friends." Saori looked over Rin's shoulder. "Would they be the ones you said may be looking for you?" 

"Hai, they are." Rin turned and looked at the group. Knowing she would ask questions, Rin quickly changed the subject. "Have Ichigo and Tadaki-sama returned from taking the horses out?" 

"No, but they should be back very soon. Rin." When she met Rin's eyes she couldn't hide the worry behind them. "Please be careful." 

Rin smiled. "You don't have to worry Saori-sama. I'll be fine." She kissed Yuriko and let her go inside with her mother just as Akane came running back from inside. "You look so beautiful Akane. It fits you wonderfully." 

Akane twirled to show off her kimono. "Arigatou. Look! Father and Ichigo have returned." 

"I see." Rin leaned down and gave the girl a hug. "I have to speak with them and then I have to leave. I'll be back soon, I promise." 

Rin approached the two men quickly before they could take alarm because of the youkai presence. 

"Rin, how wonderful it is to see you again." Tadaki eyed the youkai and then Rin, noting she was wearing her armor. His fatherly instinct kicked in. "What do you need?" 

Rin laughed freely. "You know me well, Tadaki-sama. These two fine horses will do. I should return with them in three days." 

"I trust you. You just be careful." Tadaki handed the reins of the horse he was leading over to his son. "Don't forget you have chores to do Ichigo." 

"Hai, father." Ichigo waited until his father was out of earshot before he spoke. "Rin, don't go. Just tell them where you put the swords and be done with them." 

Rin turned and walked towards the barn, sighing heavily. "Ichigo, please. Do not make me regret telling you." 

Ichigo quickly followed after her, pulling the horses along. "I don't trust him. _You_ shouldn't trust him after the way he treated you." 

"Do not make me regret telling you that either." 

"Rin, please." 

Ichigo grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. He rested his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to kiss her before she could react. And then just as quickly as it had begun, it ended. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly against him. 

"Please, don't go. I...I-I love you...Stay, stay and marry me." 

Rin's arms froze at her side, seemingly unaffected by the heat in her cheeks. She couldn't have moved if she tried. It took her a moment to find her voice. 

"You know I consider you as a brother, nothing more." She waited until he let her go before she spoke again. "Besides," she shrugged. "A family is not for me." 

Ichigo stared at her, trying to overcome his pain. 

"Ichigo..." It hurt to see him in pain. "I am not what you need. I know there are many young women in the village that would love to marry you. Promise me you'll forget about your feelings for me and move on with your life." 

He snatched the reins from the air and walked past her. "I will do no such thing." 

"Akane told me you were interested in someone. You know how your sister watches you so you cannot say it is not true." When he stopped, she continued. "Please trust me Ichigo. This is for the best. Now promise me." 

Ichigo hesitated for several long moments before he whispered, "I promise." 

"Thank you." She smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Wait here, I will go get some food for the horses to take with me." 

His eyes followed her as she walked away and when she was far enough, he marched over to the people waiting for her. He was able to do nothing more than spare Inuyasha a glance before Rin called to him from the barn. Determined to have his say, he ignored her plea for him to wait and continued to move. He met the eyes of the other youkai, his instincts telling him that this was the man who had caused Rin so much pain. He stopped a short distance from the group as Rin drew closer to them. Though his voice was raw with emotion, he spoke clearly and only loud enough for those in front of him to hear. 

"Be it your intention or not, you have _ruined_ any chance for her to have a happy future because she has been forever _scarred_ by your cruelness." 

Ichigo turned quickly before any words could be spoken. Rin stopped in front of him at that moment so he leaned over and placed a kiss on his lips. 

"Goodbye Rin." He walked away without another word. 

Determined not to let the pain set in, Rin quickly mounted her horse. Kagome and Inuyasha followed suit upon the other horse, Sesshoumaru stared in the direction Ichigo had gone. She waited a few moments, glancing at her companion's faces and trying to gauge any reactions to Ichigo's confrontation. She wasn't sure if he had said something or not and certainly wasn't in the mood to explain his behavior. Seeing that no one had any questions, she tugged on the reins and set her horse into a gallop. 

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This chapter was a little longer than the others. I wanted to get all this out of the way before their journey to Mount Imadoki actually began. A lot of stuff will be revealed about both Sesshoumaru and Rin, about these powers of Tenseiga's, within the next two chapters. Anyway, I know some might think that Sesshoumaru is out of character in this chapter, but I considering it more like the bickering he does with Inuyasha. It's safe to assume that the brother's have reached some kind of tolerance level with each other after traveling with each other for two months. The tensions that once existed between brothers now obviously exist between Sesshoumaru and Rin. That's why I have had them clashing so much here.   
Thanks so much to Shampoo Sakai. It's so cool to see my work in another language. I feel so honored. And to everyone else, your reviews are really encouraging. I may not get as many review as I would like but the few reviews I do receive are such an inspiration. Thank you all for supporting me!   
Midterms over which means I'll be working overtime on this. I would like to have this finished by the end of June and if I'm good I'll have it done before my finals (wishful thinking).   
Rabid Anime Gurl 


	12. The Present: Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 12_

She was tired. No, weary was the better word to describe the massive weight of the emotions weighing her down at this moment. The events of the past days constantly replayed themselves in her head. It was never her intention to act the way she did towards Sesshoumaru. Though she despised him, her behavior was out of line. Her parents as well as he, had raised her to show respect and she was failing to do so. But she couldn't help herself, she couldn't help the lurch in her chest when she met his eyes or when she talked about him. It made her say the things she had said and treat him the way she did. And to make matters worse, she was acting like _him_. 

Rin knew she had learned to be so spiteful and cruel from Sesshoumaru's behavior. All the years of witnessing him abuse Jaken verbally and physically had had a surprising affect on her. In the happy nature of her childhood years that part of him did not show in her. But once she sampled the bitter taste of betrayal and pain, that part of him began to show in her. And seeing him face to face only encouraged this strange personality to surface. Her behavior was his fault but she was still wrong. 

She didn't want to argue with him, it took entirely too much of her energy. It didn't make her happy and yet it didn't make her sad. She simply felt empty. An empty shell with emotions resting on her shoulders trying to get inside and fill her barren soul. Her encounter with Ichigo had not helped at all. She felt worse, if that was even possible. He had succeeded in piling more emotions upon her shoulders and giving her a new large dose of weariness. She felt miserable. 

"Is anything wrong Rin?" Kagome questioned her quietly, pulling up beside her. 

Rin turned, realizing only now how distracted her thoughts had her. "No," _everything_, she thought. 

She could feel three pairs of eyes on her, each trying to see into her to understand the reasons for her actions. She didn't mind Kagome and Inuyasha's eyes so much as she did Sesshoumaru's. Whenever _he_ stared to long and to hard she knew it was not a good thing. He was lost deep in thought and she knew his thoughts rested on her. She didn't want to know what he was thinking, didn't want to feel his eyes on her. She wanted the weight on her shoulders lifted. She didn't want to act like _him_. Tightening her grip on the reins, she glanced over at Kagome. 

"Let's pick up the pace." 

Rin pulled on the reins and tapped her legs against the horse's side. It reared up on its back legs before taking off into a fast gallop. Inuyasha jumped from Kagome's horse and followed along side her, glad for the chance to stretch his legs. Sesshoumaru ran next to Rin, easily keeping up with her. They sprinted across the open field as early morning turned into afternoon. It had warmed considerably, hinting that summer was soon on its way. The day was beautiful, glorious. Birds chirped happily, fresh flowers scented the air, Rin and Kagome laughed. 

The throaty laugh caught Sesshoumaru's attention and caused him a strange sensation in the pit of his belly. He stared at Rin, saw that she was smiling and laughing. This time the smile reached her eyes and mixed with something akin to mischievousness. She grabbed her long braid and gave the bow keeping it together a small tug. When the bow came lose, the braid quickly unraveled and her hair cascaded in waves behind her. Sesshoumaru's breath caught, causing him to slow his pace for a moment. She laughed again and the strange sensation returned. He cursed under his breath and tore his attention from her. 

Though Sesshoumaru did not understand the sensation he had just encountered, he knew it was a feeling of weakness, a weakness he had not felt since his youth. In those days he was willful, overly proud, stupid, and emotional. He had emotions and strange sensations with many female in those days and much to his surprise, he felt that way towards Rin. He had, however, long since forgotten what those emotions and strange sensations _meant_. The only emotion he could identify with was attraction but even that had too many definitions. He could simply be attracted to the idea of _making_ her show him the respect he deserved. He could be attracted to the laughter that had offered him a strange sense of comfort in the past. He did know he did not like to feel this way. 

"Whoa, whoa!" 

Rin laughed again as the horse slowed and stopped. She jumped off him quickly, full of incredible energy now that the weight had lifted from her shoulders. Petting the horse appraisingly, she led him away and called back to the others. 

"There is a river over here. We should let the horses rest while we have lunch." 

"Inuyasha, could you build a fire? We'll be back soon." Kagome quickly followed after Rin. "It has been a long time since I've ridden a horse like that." 

Rin couldn't help but smile as she glanced over at Kagome. "The same goes for me. Usually I prefer to walk but I wanted to reach Mount Imadoki as quickly as possible." 

"Eager to get away from Sesshoumaru?" Kagome pet her horse as it took a long drink from the river. 

"Well, yes. But that is not my only reason. I know I have inconvenced you and Inuyasha quite a bit by stealing Tetsusaiga. You have a family to raise and protect. I'm sure you would like to get back to those duties as soon as possible." 

Kagome smiled. "Hai, I would. You are a very nice girl Rin. You don't deserve what Sesshoumaru has put you through." 

Rin could only nod in response. She watched for a moment as Kagome pulled her strange cooking tools from her bag. Determined not to let thoughts of Sesshoumaru ruin her good mood once again, Rin leaned down and washed the sweat from her face. Pressing her hand to her forehead, she noted her own increased temperature. She washed her face again and fought against a coughing fit. By the time she got it under control her eyes were watering. She pulled her hand away from her mouth and nearly fainted when she saw the blood on her hand. She quickly rinsed if off, but not before Kagome saw it. 

"You are a disgrace, Inuyasha. You let that girl order you around as though you are her pet." Sesshoumaru watched in disgust as Inuyasha finished building the fire. 

"Keh, why don't you go argue with Rin some more? I don't give a damn about what you say so I don't want to hear it." Inuyasha lay before the fire, his head propped up by his arm. 

Sesshoumaru was about to speak when he smelled Rin's blood upon the air. He turned his head in her direction, trying to sense if there were any youkai in the area. Though he sensed nothing out of the ordinary, he was still concerned. He walked toward the direction she had gone, Inuyasha now on his heels after smelling her blood as well. When he saw her walking towards them, he couldn't help but feel relieved. 

Rin cursed silently, knowing both brothers had smelled her blood. Surely they would have questions. "Are you two that hungry that you couldn't wait for us to return?", she asked casually. 

Sesshoumaru stopped in front of Rin, blocking her path as he looked her over. "Why were you bleeding?" He saw no cuts on her face and as the scent had came and went, he knew she wasn't in heat. 

"I bit my lip." She walked past him, only to be stopped when he grabbed her arm. 

"I do not believe you." He stared down at her intensely, as if daring her to lie to him. 

Rin returned his stare, seemingly unfazed by the look that had always made her tell the truth in the past. "That is your choice. As I am sure you can see, there is nothing wrong with me. Now, if you would release my arm." 

He held it for a moment longer, his eyes still locked with hers, before he let it go and turned to walk away. He stood under a nearby tree and watched her secretly, his eyes shaded by his hair and his body shaded by the tree. 

Kagome bit her lip, fighting the urge to bring up what she had seen. She knew Rin did not want to discuss it so she helped to change the subject as they began to prepare their ramen. "So Rin, why don't you tell us about that young man from the village? How did you meet him?" 

Sesshoumaru shifted his weight as his hand twitched. 

Rin blushed and she quickly explained how she had come to meet Ichigo and his family. "He didn't want me to leave. Since Ichigo is only a year younger than me he was a lot easier to talk to. He was the only one I gave details about my past life. You know most villagers don't trust youkai and he is no different. But he especially doesn't trust Sesshoumaru." 

It was her first time using his name, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by anyone there, since she was thirteen. It felt strange to use it, especially without the respectful term. 

"So he wanted me to just tell you where to find the swords and stay with him...and be his wife." 

Inuyasha ears twitched and he looked over at Sesshoumaru. He could have sworn he heard something like a tree being cracked. 

Kagome set her food down and clapped her hands in excitement. "He proposed, how wonderful! I knew something was going on between you two when you kissed." 

Inuyasha turned his attention back to his brother at the unmistakable sound of cracking and growling. 

"Actually, there is nothing going on between us. I only think of Ichigo as a brother, but even if I had thought of him differently, I would not have accepted his proposal." 

Sesshoumaru pulled his hand free from the hole he had created in the tree and immediately ceased his unconscious growling. 

"Oh? Why not?" Kagome asked curiously. 

Rin finished the last of her soup before continuing. "I have long since accepted the fact that a family is not meant for me." She began to braid her hair. "When my family was murdered and villagers would give me no aid I became convinced that I was meant to be alone. And then I met Sesshoumaru." 

_"... you _ruined_ any chance for her to have a happy future..."_

"I considered him and Jaken-sama and Ah Un my family until I learned I was merely a tool. It was then that I accepted what I had learned when I was a child. I was meant to be alone, and I will continue to remain alone.." 

_"...she has been forever _scarred_ by your cruelness."_

Kagome could not hide her surprise. "You can't mean that Rin. No one is meant to be alone." 

"That does not seem to be true in my case, considering I have never had an ounce of good luck with out it being quickly followed by bad luck. If I have a happy moment, it quickly turns into a sad one therefore to avoid that I must be alone. And if anything were to happen to Ichigo and his family because of me..." She couldn't finish her sentence. "That is my fate and I accept it," she rose to her feet, unwilling to have this conversation continue. Her mind was made up and nothing would change that. "We should get going." 

As the girls began to clean up Inuyasha forced himself to his feet and walked over to his brother. He noted the hole in the tree with a raised eyebrow. 

"Oi, Sesshoumaru. What's wrong, couldn't stand to hear Rin talk about another man? I think I sense a little jealously." 

Sesshoumaru sent Inuyasha a cold glare. "Do not be foolish. This Sesshoumaru has no reason to be jealous, especially when it comes to a human." He pushed away from the tree, angry that he had shown enough emotion to tip Inuyasha off. 

"Keh. You can't fool me Sesshoumaru. I _know_ the signs of jealously. You are just going to have to accept the fact that you are no longer the center of Rin's universe." 

"Fact accepted, end of conversation," he walked away and waited by the horses, unconsciously contemplating the idea. 

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It was like Rin had said, bad luck quickly follows good luck. It had been good luck for them to make such great time on their journey but unfortunately, their good luck had just run out. It was time to encounter a bit of bad luck. That bad luck revealed itself in the form of a fox youkai. Though it was something they could deal with easily, it was annoying nonetheless. He stood in front of them and refused to move from their path. The little fox youkai was surprisingly tall for such a small creature. His pointy ears twitched and he sniffed the air with his long nose. A sly grin lit his face as he made eye contact with Rin. 

"Woman, I thought that was you. You're going back up to the mountain and you're taking these mutts with you. I thought we had an agreement." 

Rin arched an eyebrow. "And what agreement was that?" 

The fox youkai adjusted his armor before crossing his arms over his chest. "You were to take me to the mountain, break the barrier, and give me those swords." 

"I made no such agreement. And as I've told you before those swords have owners. In fact, these _mutts_," she gestured to Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha. "Just happen to be the owners." 

"Is that so?" He eyed the inu-youkai with disgust. "I am afraid I cannot allow that. My master is determined to get those swords." 

"Cannot allow it? I am afraid you and your master do not have a choice in the manner. Those swords will never be in your hands or your master's hands. Now that everything is clear, I shall be on my way." 

Rin signaled for her horse to move with a tug on the reins. As she moved forward, the fox youkai drew his sword. 

"I do not like the tone of your voice woman and as I said, I certainly cannot allow you to deliver those swords into any other hands but my masters. If they will not belong to him then they will belong to no one." 

The fox youkai dashed forward. Rin quickly withdrew her sword, fully prepared to defend herself. But she stopped abruptly when a brilliant wave of blue light flashed in front of her. Something exploded and the air quickly filled with smoke. It cleared slowly and in the midst of it stood Sesshoumaru. He held Toukijin in his hand and stood before a large hole in the ground. The fox youkai stood just beside it, his eyes gaping at what could have been his grave. 

"This Sesshoumaru did not expect you to move so quickly. But trust I will not make that same mistake again." 

The fox youkai didn't hesitate to turn and run away. Sesshoumaru was about to follow after him when Rin called to him. 

"Wait, Sesshoumaru. He isn't worth it. If I considered him a threat I would have taken care of him long ago. Let's get going, we can still make it to our destination by sunset." 

Both Sesshoumaru and Rin sheathed their swords and continued on. Far in the distance a small group of fox youkai slowly trailed after them. 

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They reached a small hut at sunset and quickly settled down. Sesshoumaru quickly disappeared, uninterested in being confined in such a small area with his brother and the two females. Unaffected by Sesshoumaru's attitude, the trio quickly prepared their dinner. Rin outlined the remained of their journey. 

"We should reach the base of Imadoki no later than tomorrow afternoon. It will take the remainder of the day to journey up and then down the mountain. We will not return here tomorrow." 

"Why not?" Though she liked the stars, Kagome preferred sleeping indoors. 

"There is a hot spring near Mount Imadoki. We will spend the night there. From there it will only take a day and a half to return to Ichigo's village." 

Inuyasha stopped eating and stared at Rin. "You mean to tell me we took the long route to get here?" 

She sipped her tea and nodded. "You and Sesshoumaru may not be tired after the journey but Kagome and I will. We will be grateful for the chance to relax." 

"I agree Rin. Good thinking." Kagome beamed and began fantasizing about relaxing in the hot spring. 

"Mmm." Rin finished her tea and rose to her feet. "I am going to take a walk. I'll return shortly." 

Kagome watched Rin leave and immediately turned to Inuyasha when she was gone. "Ne, Inuyasha. Did you notice Sesshoumaru acting a little strange when we were at the village?" 

"No, but if he had it's because he doesn't like to be around humans." He yawned, trying to hint to his mate that he didn't want to have this conversation. 

"But he wasn't around too many humans. He just seemed to be uncomfortable with watching what was happening between Rin and Ichigo. Usually Sesshoumaru is so stiff but he kept shifting around a lot." 

"Keh. He's just jealous that Rin doesn't like him anymore. You should have seen the hole he put in the tree when you asked Rin about Ichigo." 

"Jealous? Sesshoumaru? You don't think that he _likes_ Rin do you?" Kagome considered the idea for a moment. "Well he does act a lot like the way you used to. You were always getting jealous whenever I even talked to another guy. Not to mention we always used to argue." 

Inuyasha sent her an incredulous look at the mention of his past behavior. "I _guess_ you're right, but we can't assume that Sesshoumaru is acting the way he is because he likes Rin. You know how he hates humans." 

"But if he hates humans so much then why did he keep her around all those years?" 

"Hell if I know. I don't know anything about Sesshoumaru or the reasons for his actions." He pulled Kagome into his lap. "Lets not talk about him anymore." 

Kagome blushed and settled into his lap, completely forgetting about Sesshoumaru. 

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Rin walked slowly up the small hill near the hut, grateful for the time alone. She was tired of answering so many questions. Silence was something she had grown accustomed to during her travels with Sesshoumaru and as she was convinced she was meant to be alone, it was something she had embraced. So she needed to escape, to be alone with her thoughts and contemplate the long day ahead. She was, however, disappointed when she found Sesshoumaru standing in the very spot she was headed to. 

Sesshoumaru stood on the ledge and diverted his eyes to his side when he sensed Rin's approach. He waited several long moments for her to speak or turn to leave, but she remained frozen in place as if unsure what to do. The wind picked up and blew her scent in his direction. He inhaled deeply, noted that she smelled of fresh river water, and was reminded of their life together in the past. She had always been so determined to stay neat and clean in order to be like him, in order to please him. And now she had become like him by being spiteful and hateful. She no longer wished to please him. Sure she was trying to annoy him or bring out the worst in him, he decided not to give her the opportunity. 

"Does my presence bother you so much that you will wait there until I leave?" 

Rin continued to stare at his back. "Perhaps," but she walked forward anyway, determined to be the better person. 

He turned his eyes back up to the sky when she walked to him. She sat a small distance from him and allowed her legs to dangle over the ledge. She turned her attention the sky, content like him to spend the night gazing at the stars. It amazed him how many of his habits that she had picked up, it was not something he had noticed before. He was sure she saw the similarities as well and wondered if they fueled her distaste for him. Surely she did not enjoy being like the person who had caused her so much pain. How much, he wondered, had she changed over the last five years? How many of his habits had she dropped? Why did he want to know every detail of the new Rin she had become? Why did he _care_? 

"Why did you come up here?" He surprised himself by asking. 

"Whenever I come to check on the swords I stop here to stare at the stars. The view is breath taking." 

He watched as the wind swept through the stray strands of hair around her face. The moon lit her face and reflected beautifully in her brown eyes. The sky, clear as the cleanest river, sparkled with millions of white stars just above her head. The view was indeed breath taking, but it did not comfort him completely. For some odd reason, it bothered him that her hair was bound. 

"Why do you braid your hair?" He was more surprised by the softness in his voice than by asking her _another_ question. 

_Because I feel like I'm_ copying _you._ She sighed and responded, "it is easier for me to keep clean while I travel." 

She was lying, and Sesshoumaru knew it. He let it go and stared back up at the sky. They fell into a deep silence, one that Inuyasha and Kagome would have found disturbing and full of tension. But, if it did exist, neither Rin nor Sesshoumaru acknowledged it. They preferred to pick their thoughts from their minds, as though it was a star in the sky, and sort it out. The silence was welcome, the breeze appreciated, the lack of disturbances a miracle. And as time went by they found that they were content, for once, in each other's presence since the moment they were reunited. 

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Long Author Note Ahead: 

Izzy, wow, that was long. Let me try to clear some things up without potentially ruining my story. First off, Rin definitely has reasons for her behavior, none of which I have revealed yet. But obviously they _will_ be revealed because like you said, she would quite simply be a bitch. But that is not all there is to her. She acts like a bitch towards Sesshoumaru because she holds a grudge against him. You never see her act that way towards anyone else. She is also well aware of her actions and not completely un-repentive. In this chapter she offers some form of an apology to Kagome. She means the apology even if she has had to deprive Inuyasha of his sword. But Inuyasha's lesson in this story was to learn not to depend upon Tetsusaiga so much. This was her way, even if it was the wrong, of teaching him. Second, in regards to her being like Sesshoumaru, I mentioned in earlier chapters that she was determined to be like Sesshoumaru. They differ in the way that she is un-able to show a little more kindness/emotion than he does. Obviously she cannot be completely like him but she can mimic some of his ways. Third, Rin definetly has flaws but she will not allow them to show so easily, it goes against her training. One flaw is that she sacrificing her true personality in an effort to be as calm and cool as Sesshoumaru and because she has convinced herself she is fated to be alone. She steals from the people who helped her, another flaw. She treats Sesshoumaru horribly without asking to understand why he said what he did. She dresses like him though she doesn't like him very much. She is utterly and completely confused. Just because the flaws aren't clearly stated does not mean that they do not exist. Rin's character is _not_ fully developed, though it may appear to be. I do not think Rin is a complete bitch because I know the entire story, it's written in my head. Give it some time, the story isn't finished. 

Rin dislikes Tetsusaiga because she feels she is only alive because Sesshoumaru wanted it. It's foolish, yes, but as I said she is really confused. She was a child when this happened and jumped to entirely too many conclusions. She also feels that the swords are better off in her hands because she cannot use its powers. This I know is not stated too clearly in the story but it is safe to assume that Rin does not trust the powers of either swords. Tenseiga brought her back to life- a life she believes is only a tool for Sesshoumaru. It's safe to assume she seen or knows of the damage Tetsusaiga can cause. Things that powerful, in her opinion, should not belong to anyone. Toutousai himself even shuddered at the thought of how much power they would have. But only after seeing Toutousai did she perhaps realize that Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha's father had his reasons for wanting such powerful swords and it was not her place to keep them from their rightful owners. Instead of handing them over, Toutousai takes this opportunity to teach the boys a few things. 

As for Toutousai's attitude towards Inuyasha and Tetsusaiga, he _has_ threatened to take Tetsusaiga, not so much because he is unworthy but because of the fact that Inuyasha bangs it up pretty badly and quite often. Toutousai is always hurt to see his precious work with scratches and dents on it. I refuse to watch the dub version of Inuyasha so I know the storyline and I know how dangerous it is for Inuyasha to be without Tetsusaiga. However, I am assuming that since Naraku is dead that things have calmed down quite a bit. The world is perhaps a bit more peaceful and therefore Inuyasha will not find himself in a situation where he will find his life threatened to the point where he transforms. And he knows his limits. This is also perhaps why he should not always depend completely on Tetsusaiga. Inuyasha grew up relying on his own powers and using them to his advantage. He always had faith in his abilities up until he received Tetsusaiga. He feels he cannot fight without it. But this isn't the case considering he survived all those years. I'm sure his father never would have wanted Inuyasha to abandon his powers and rely 100% on Tetsusaiga and perhaps, that is what makes him unworthy of it. Finally, the "sit" incident. That occurred not to punish Inuyasha for wanting to get his sword back, but for wanting to berate a little girl with millions of questions about the person who had given her the letter. Obviously Kagome saw that this is what Inuyasha was planning to do and put an end to it before he scared her. I'm sure you know Inuyasha just simply doesn't care when it comes to getting answers. 

I am in my first year in college and am well aware of the fact that have I much to learn. This is my practice and I am very appreciative of your comment. So THANK YOU and I hope I cleared things up a bit. 

Everyone else please read this:   
Another thing you brought up Izzy (and I'm glad you did because it's something I have been thinking about) was the hint of romance between Sess and Rin. I put the second category as romance because it was my original intention to get those two together as a subplot. Now, however, I am seriously reconsidering it. Sure there are HINTS that Sesshoumaru may have an interest, it is even something that Kagome sees only because of how things were between her and Inuyasha. But whatever feelings those may be, they are far from solid- they could have simply developed out of curiously of this new Rin. Those feelings are not real enough for a full romance, especially considering Rin's obvious dislike for him. Either way, the romance will not fit into this plot. Right now I am considering two endings. One would end with thousands of questions unanswered unless I decide to do a sequel. The other will probably make you hate me. So I thought I should warn you that the ending I am leaning towards right now will probably make you hate me. I will naturally reconsider but I can't be sure I'll be swayed from my original decision. 

Rabid Anime Gurl 


	13. The Present: Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 13_

It was cool and breezy. Dew still licked blades of grass and fell from newly bloomed flowers. Many birds sang their afternoon song, welcoming the new day and awaking those who were determined to spend it sleeping. The sun towered high in the sky, resting directly above Mother Nature. A tall mountain rose into the sky as if trying to reach the sun. It appeared to have failed miserably since its peak was mostly flattened instead of being pointed. Still, the sight was beautiful, welcoming, and peaceful. 

Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha stopped abruptly as the world around them gave one powerful pulse. They stood dazed and frozen for what seemed like days in their minds until a voice as soft as the bird song spoke the words they longed to hear. 

"Tetsusaiga, Tenseiga. They are calling to you." 

Rin obviously could not feel what the pair had but she knew what had caused their strange behavior for that short moment. Toutousai had explained many details to her about the swords and the ties each had to its master. But there also existed direct ties to their father considering the swords were made from his fangs. For some time she believed such powerful swords did not belong in the hands of any youkai. But upon seeing the reaction Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha had to the calling, she knew it was best that each of them had something to remind them of their father. 

"It must be nice," she thought aloud as she stared up at the top of the mountain. "To have a part of your father call to you so." 

Sesshoumaru followed after Rin, considering what she had just said. Inuyasha considered it as well. Neither brother had thought of their swords as anything more than family heirlooms. Though they knew the blades were made from their father's fangs, they did not fully realize that they were also a direct connection to their father. It was as if he was always by their side, protecting them, fighting for them, offering them his strength. They never considered that when the blade pulsed it might have been their father speaking to them and offering them advice. The idea brought both brothers a calm feeling and a greater sense of pride and honor. 

They made their way up the beaten path of the mountain. There were times when they could walk with ease, other times they were forced to do a bit of climbing in order to continue on. Up so high from the ground they could no longer hear the birdsong, there were no flowers or grass and therefore certainly no dew. And though there was still a breeze, the sun beat so roughly upon them that they barely felt it. Despite the lack of peace they continued on wholeheartedly, anxious to reach the glorious peak and see the treasure it held. 

The youkai that littered the area were far from the treasure they had expected. 

Protective instincts kicked in and both brothers placed themselves in front of the women. Inuyasha held his mate's hand loosely, daring any youkai to so much as look at her. He growled, obviously annoyed by the unwelcome guests. Kagome merely rolled her eyes and noted that Rin seemed not to mind the youkai at all. Rin, unlike the others, had not been surprised by their presence. Obviously she had encountered them before and knew they were no threat. And so Kagome paid them no heed and allowed her thoughts to examine why Sesshoumaru and Rin looked like a high ranked married couple. 

"They will not attack. You two can relax," Rin offered casually and continued to walk as if only the four of them existed. 

Sesshoumaru looked over at Rin. "You have been up here before." It wasn't a question. "Alone, I'm sure. You could have been killed." 

"As I said before, they will not attack so you see-" 

He cut her off. "I _see_ you are being foolish. You can never know when these brainless youkai will attack. They are weak and therefore do not value their lives. They could have easily attacked you without thinking of the repercussions. Who ever made you think you would be safe around perhaps hundreds of youkai should die a thousand deaths." 

Rin quickly drew her sword and held it just inches from Sesshoumaru's throat. When he narrowed his eyes she couldn't help but smile. "Shall we begin then?" 

Sesshoumaru glared and pushed the blade away. Taking his eyes from her, he picked up his pace. 

She grinned and followed after him. "They will not attack _yet_, because they are not _completely_ brainless. Most of these youkai started arriving the moment we placed Tetsusaiga and Tenseiga here. They have accepted the fact that they are too weak to get past the barrier. They intend, instead, to attack the one who _does_ get past it in hopes of getting the sword that way." 

"Keh, I'll just blast them away with the Kaze no Kizu." Excited by idea, Inuyasha tightened his grip on Kagome's hand and pushed past his brother and Rin. 

"I figured as much." Rin shook her head. "But Inuyasha, you must remember that Toutousai wanted you to learn not to depend on Tetsusaiga to much. Do not forget the powers you have as an inu-youkai." 

"Yeah, I got that much. I fully intend to teach my sons everything that I had to learn when I grew up on my own." He smiled when he felt Kagome squeeze his hand appraisingly. 

When they reached the top of the mountain they paused for a moment to stare at the brilliant spheres of yellow and white light. Hidden just among each blurry cocoon was a sword. They pulsed visibly, attracting the attention of many youkai that were lingering around. Inuyasha ordered Kagome to get back and she rushed over to Rin and linked arms with her. Rin blinked at the contact but settled with Kagome as far away from the spheres as possible. 

"Which is which?" Kagome asked curiously. 

"It does not matter, they will know." Rin watched each brother closely. 

Inuyasha touched the white sphere- Tenseiga's sphere- just to see what would happen. When it shocked him, he pulled his hand away quickly and smirked. "Good luck getting through that Sesshoumaru." Then he disappeared behind the yellow sphere. Tetsusaiga stood in a small crevice in the ground in the center of the sphere. He sighed heavily, unable to describe the wave of happiness that washed over him, and reached out slowly. The moment his hand wrapped around Tenseiga's hilt, the sphere dispersed. He was only able to catch a glance at Sesshoumaru as he disappeared behind the white sphere before the youkai began to attack. 

Fools. Did they really think that _he_, Lord of the Western Lands, would come this far if he was not sure he could retrieve what was his? When he had handed Tenseiga over to Inuyasha he had no doubt that he would get it back. But these fools, with their filthy human blood, had undermined his power and his abilities. He had expected such from Kagome and Inuyasha but he was surprised that Rin, one of the few creatures that knew him well, had adopted their opinion of him. It would please him greatly to see their disappointed and shocked faces once he stepped out with Tenseiga. 

But to Sesshoumaru's surprise, he would step out with something more than his precious sword. 

The moment he placed his hand on Tenseiga's hilt the sphere dispersed. Tenseiga pulsed and the sensation traveled through his hand, up his arm, across his shoulder blades, and down to the nub that Inuyasha had left him when he had severed his left arm. But instead of stopping there, the feeling continued as if traveling down an imaginary arm and out through imaginary fingers. And yet, it felt all too real, as if he _wasn't_ missing his left arm. 

Sesshoumaru quickly placed Tenseiga at his side, lifted his left sleeve and stared in shock. Inuyasha finished getting rid the youkai and turned quickly when he heard the loud gasp from Kagome and Rin. He followed the direction of their eyes and his mouth fell open. He stalked over to Sesshoumaru and grabbed the arm _he_ had chopped off several years ago and found that is was attached as though it had always been there. 

Sesshoumaru gathered himself when his brother yanked at his arm. Flinging his arm back, he watched with pleasure as Inuyasha lost balance and fell. He wasn't sure how it happened, but Tenseiga healed him, made him whole again. Perhaps this trip had not been an entire waste of his time. 

Inuyasha pushed himself to his feet and quickly followed after his brother as he headed toward the women. "How the hell did you get your arm back Sesshoumaru?" 

"This Sesshoumaru is unsure but perhaps Rin can offer an explanation," Sesshoumaru gestured to Rin and noted that her mouth was still slightly agape and her eyebrows still furrowed in confusion. "Or are you too _disappointed_ to speak?" 

Rin quickly shut her mouth and turned to make her way down the mountain, her brow still furrowed in confusion. "I am _surprised_, not disappointed. I never expected you to be able to get past the barrier let alone master one of Tenseiga's abilities so quickly." _And what exactly did that mean?_, she asked herself. 

"Keh, Tenseiga can heal _and_ resurrect people? No wonder why he doesn't use it," Inuyasha crossed his arms as he trudged down the path. 

"Tenseiga is a sword of life and therefore some of its abilities are difficult to master if the desire to protect life is not there. Toutousai never fully explained the details of Tenseiga's abilities to me. He did not think it was necessary considering Sesshoumaru..." Rin trailed off. 

"Considering what?" Sesshoumaru demanded. 

Rin paused for a moment before speaking. "Considering your strong desire for Tetsusaiga. That desire is what has prevented you from mastering Tenseiga completely, that and your disregard for life. But it was that desire that Toutousai and I believed would not allow you to get through the barrier." 

"Nani?" Inuyasha interrupted before Sesshoumaru could speak. "That's all that would have stopped him? No wonder Sesshoumaru was able to get through the barrier." 

Rin stopped and turned to face Inuyasha. "What do you mean by that?" 

"Sesshoumaru hasn't really come after Tetsusaiga since we learned of its connection to my youkai blood. I've known for a long time that he doesn't want Tetsusaiga anymore." 

Rin narrowed her eyes. "What are you talking about? He tried to take Tetsusaiga some five years ago." 

"Keh, that bastard only came to annoy me. Only when I mentioned Tetsusaiga did he try to take it. He was probably just trying to prove that he could take it if he wanted to. Though he failed to prove that." He shot his brother a challenging smirk. 

Rin turned away and resumed walking, going silent to contemplate what she had just learned. _Could it mean what she was afraid it did? What she had been afraid to believe all along?_ She forced herself to keep her breathing easy, to remain calm even though she was trembling on the inside. 

"I don't understand," Kagome spoke quietly. "Why haven't you mastered all of Tenseiga's abilities if you no longer want Tetsusaiga?" 

Sesshoumaru kept his attention trained on Rin, wondering why she seemed so uninterested in their topic of conversation. "What need do I have to revive and heal people? I protect what is mine with my own power and so Tenseiga goes unneeded." 

"Keh, you're so selfish. I think father gave you Tenseiga so you could learn to show compassion for others. But since you lack that compassion, you have been unable to use all of Tenseiga's." 

"Inuyasha. It is nice to see you finally using your brain, but don't hurt yourself thinking of something you know nothing about," Sesshoumaru responded coolly. 

Rin ignored the argument that ensued and nearly shouted with joy when the reached the ground. She sat down and placed a hand to her head, trying to slow the speeding thoughts in her head. 

Kagome rushed to her side. "What is wrong Rin?" 

"I just need to rest for a second, I feel a little dizzy." 

"Here, drink this." Kagome handed a bottle of water to her. 

"Arigatou." Rin took a long drink before handing the bottle back to Kagome. "Thank you, I feel much better." She rose to her feet. 

"Oi, Kagome," Inuyasha called from up ahead. "Hurry up. We need to get back to camp before I die of starvation." 

Kagome glared at Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru. "How mean! Trying to leave us behind. Come on Rin, we better hurry." 

But before they could take a step, the sky darkened suddenly and thunder sounded loudly. They looked up just as one bolt of lightening struck the ground. It was followed quickly by another, then another, and then yet another until they began to fall down as if it was rain. Inuyasha struggled to get to Kagome and Rin but was stopped with each attempt he made. He could barely move an inch before he had to dodge the lightening that threatened to strike him. When he heard the explosion and saw his mate being tossed into the ground, his heart sank. He would save her, even if it killed him. 

Sesshoumaru was having the same luck as his brother. Though he was able to weave through the strikes of lightening with ease, he was not getting anywhere. It appeared to him that whoever was responsible for this was probably after Rin. Some jealous creature that wanted the swords for himself was seeking revenge upon her because she had given them to someone else. This Sesshoumaru would not allow it, he would not allow harm to come to Rin. But when the explosion upturned the ground beneath her feet, he wondered if he would be able to save her in time. She fell atop Kagome and struggled to get to her feet. If she didn't move quickly...she wasn't moving quickly... 

Thunder rumbled loudly and sky flashed with lightening. Sesshoumaru watched as another bolt came down directly above Rin. He dashed forward, ignoring the bolt of lightening that struck his shoulder. When Tenseiga pulsed and flew from his side, he ignored that too. But the giant flash of white light forced him to stop and cover his eyes. The lightening and thunder suddenly ceased and the sky cleared. He dropped his hand and stared as Tenseiga's barrier dispersed and the blade dropped at Rin's feet. 

Rin sat on her legs and leaned forward, planting her hands in the ground in front of her. And there she stayed as Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru came to them. Inuyasha helped Kagome to her feet, anxiously checking if she had been harmed in anyway. Sesshoumaru picked up Tenseiga slowly and held it in his hands to stare at it. Everyone except Rin turned at the sound of explosion and a moo from behind them. 

"Well, that was certainly a surprise. Not at all what I expected from that little test." Toutousai rubbed his chin, considering what had just happened. 

Inuyasha blinked in surprise. "Nani? What are you-" 

"TOUTOUSAI!" 

Everyone turned their attention to Rin when she cried out angrily, unable to recall a time when she had raised her voice so loudly. As she marched past them, her body shaking with anger and confusion, she snatched Tenseiga from a surprised Sesshoumaru. When Toutousai climbed from his cow, she threw the blade in his arms. Her calm exterior no longer existed. 

"What is this about? You said he wouldn't be able to get past the barrier! You said he wouldn't be able to use its full powers. Yet Tenseiga healed him and it protected m-" Rin cut herself off, unable to finish the sentence, and simply stared at Toutousai in confusion. "What does this _mean_, Toutousai?" 

Toutousai said nothing for a long moment. His expression suddenly turned very grim before he spoke, "I think you know what it means Rin." 

Rin took a step back as the color drained from her face. Her expression went blank, her eyes and head drooped. She turned slowly and walked away. 

"Rin. Rin? Stop." Sesshoumaru called to her and when she ignored him, he went after her. 

"I'd leave her alone if I were you boy!" Toutousai called loudly after Sesshoumaru. 

"Nani?" He ignored the old man. "Rin, stop. _Where_ do you think you are going?" He grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. He released her quickly when he saw the tears in her eyes. 

"Don't," she whispered weakly as she held her arms up to keep him at bay. "Don't." Turning, she took off in a run. 

He stared after her. When she disappeared from his sight, Sesshoumaru turned and walked over to Toutousai. "Explain." 

"Maybe I should go check on Rin." Kagome stared in the direction Rin had gone. 

"No, Rin needs to be alone. There are many things she must come to terms with." He tossed Tenseiga to Sesshoumaru. 

Sesshoumaru caught the sword and placed it back at his side. "I am waiting." 

"Patience you good for nothing mongrel!" Toutousai quickly sat down, knowing this would take awhile. "Tenseiga is a sword of life in more ways than one. It is a sword that protects, heals, and returns life." 

"She said as much. But what does this have to do with Rin?" Sesshoumaru asked. 

"More than you know! Now that you have completely accepted Tenseiga it can now fulfill its complete purpose. Tenseiga is obligated to protect and heal its master but it also protects and heals those its master commands it to. When you went through the barrier and came out with two arms, I was completely surprised. You have been so stubborn and reluctant to use Tenseiga so why would it heal you? I had to test just how strong your connection to Tenseiga is. Now tell me, did you command Tenseiga to protect Rin?" 

"Wait a minute! Test?" Inuyasha rounded on Toutousai. "That incident just now was a _test_? What if the test _failed_? Kagome could have been killed!" 

"Silence, boy!" Toutousai bellowed. "The ligtening was fake. Look at Sesshoumaru's shoulder. He was struck but it didn't even tear his kimono. Now, answer the question Sesshoumaru." 

Sesshoumaru stared at Toutousai for a long moment. "No." 

"I didn't think so. Your desire to protect Rin was so strong that you were able to use the abilities you have yet to learn," Toutousai stated calmly. "Your desire to save her was so strong that Tenseiga acted upon that desire and protected her without your command. That is why the girl is so upset." 

Kagome's brow creased. "Why would she get upset that Sesshoumaru wanted to protect her?" 

"Because that implies he _cares_. When Rin heard Sesshoumaru tell Inuyasha he was using her, she was devastated. She convinced herself that his kindness all those years was nothing more than a pretense. As long as she believed he never cared about her and that he hated _all_ humans as Jaken so often professed, then she could excuse his behavior. Because, after all, someone who cared about you would never say anything so cruel. Not unless they hated you of course. If Sesshoumaru had hated her the entire time they were together, then she could hate him for the rest of her life with out giving it a second thought. It was easier that way, you see. Hate helped her overcome the pain of betrayal." 

Kagome nodded. "But now she sees that Sesshoumaru never really hated her, so she has no reason to hate him." 

"Yes, exactly," he turned to Sesshoumaru now. "For the past five years she has convinced herself she hates you and I'm sure up until this point that hate _feels_ real. So how will she erase that hate and accept that you really do care about her? How will she forgive you for saying something so cruel to her face? How will she overcome the pain that has been dormant for the last five years?" Toutousai crossed his arms and glared at Sesshoumaru. "And what will you _do_ to help her?" 

The demon lord turned away from the old man and stare in the direction Rin had gone. How, he wondered, had things gotten so out of hand? What happened to the sweet and happy girl he once knew? Had she been lost or sacrificed to the pain and hate that had consumed her over the past five years? Did Rin really hate him? Was she really so foolish that she believed that he had never truly cared for her after _everything_ he had done for her? He knew the answer to at least that. After all, she _had_ only been a child when this all happened and her young mind obviously jumped to the wrong conclusion. Her behavior should not surprise him. But it, like the tears he had seen glitter in her eyes for the first time since he knew her, _had_ surprised him. And for the first time in his life, this Sesshoumaru did not know what to do. 

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Debating, debating. I really _do_ want to a Sesshy/Rin pairing because I am a **huge** sucker for happy endings. But to develop their relationship here would take at least ten more chapters and would not fit with the stories theme. Like one of the reviewers said, the story often writes itself and the way the story is going, it doesn't permit it. There are, however, enough hints of a romance to do a side story type sequel and I _may_ just give into my reviewers and my silly desires for happy endings and do one. Time permitting of course. I have no clue how busy I am going to be this summer so I may or may not have time to even get started on a sequel. Blah blah, we'll see. Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming!   
Rabid Anime Gurl 


	14. The Present: Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 14_

Rin returned at sunset with two handfuls of pink lilies. She walked slowly to the group, half due to her reluctance to deal with them and the other half due to feeling weak. She had cried the entire time she had been gone. Her eyes were still red and puffy, her head pounded with each breath she took. She had taken her hair down in order hide her face as well as remove any further strain on her head. Her throat ached from her sobbing and from the many, many coughing fits she suffered through. She only hoped that there were no traces of blood left to attract attention from Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha. Any questions they had would go unanswered, any concerns would go unnoticed. She simply was not in the mood. She had returned because they were waiting and because the sooner she did return, the sooner they would leave her alone. Funny though, the thought of being alone did not offer her any comfort this time. 

Sesshoumaru watched as Rin drew near, sighing inwardly at the beautiful but sad sight. Her hair danced in the wind and across her face, hiding half of it from sight. The sun set behind her, outlining her tiny frame and placing a dark shadow on her face. The scent of her despair mixed with the lilies only added to the scene. He thought of the tears he had seen in her eyes and suddenly felt a small throbbing pain in his gut. Never had he seen her cry. Not even when she was being held hostage or received a painful injury. While he was sure she _did_ cry, he realized now that she probably never allowed him to _see_ those tears. He felt that strange throb again and realized it was guilt. _He_ felt guilty. 

And why should he feel guilty? After all it was _she_ who had ran away without fully understanding what he had meant by what he said. She had not asked for an explanation. Not that he _owed_ her one. This Sesshoumaru did not explain his behavior to _anyone_. This was entirely her fault. If she had left him alone when she had stumbled upon him all those years ago, he never would have been compelled to revive her. And she certainly would not have had a need to follow him around worshiping him and smiling and laughing and giving him joy just because his mere _existence_ made her happy. And she would not be sad right now and he would not want to do whatever it would take to make her happy again. Yes, it was _all_ her fault. 

"I apologize for keeping you all waiting," Rin told them as she approached, her voice low and gentle. "I'm sure everyone is anxious to eat and rest so why don't we hurry?" She turned, her head slightly down so as to hide her face, and lead the way to where they had left the horses. 

Kagome and Inuyasha followed after her in silence. Kagome struggled against the need to comfort Rin and held tightly to Inuyasha instead. Sesshoumaru walked behind the couple, carefully keeping his distance and trying to convince himself he was not at fault. 

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Rin steered clear of the group for the rest of the night. While Kagome and Inuyasha prepared dinner, she tended to the horses with twice as much attention. At dinner she ate in silence, always keeping her mouth full so they would have no chance to ask her a question and get an answer. When she was done eating, she quickly cleaned up her mess, gathered her flowers, and departed for the hot spring. 

Sesshoumaru watched her every move. 

He followed after her, watching curiously when she plucked each lily from its stem and dropped it on the water's surface. He diverted his eyes when she undressed and waited until he heard her get in the water before directing his attention back to her. 

The long and luxurious bath did not help her relax as he was sure she had planned. She showed no physical signs of crying but she spent most of her time doing so. Though the tears fell freely down her cheeks her body did not quiver and no sobs escaped her mouth. She simply looked as though she were somewhere else completely. 

He wondered vaguely why he was torturing himself by watching, wondered why his heart clenched as if a hand was gripping it. He knew they should talk, but the more he watched her, the less he wanted to say and the stronger his desire to simply hold her became. So he turned and walked away, cursing the foolish emotions that threatened to consume him. 

"You watch her a lot, did you know that?" Inuyasha leaned against a tree a good distance from the hot spring, patiently waiting for his brother to return. 

Sesshoumaru stopped and stared at Inuyasha. He had nothing to say. 

"I did that too, with Kagome," Inuyasha continued, not surprised that Sesshoumaru did not respond. "I watched the way her smile lit her eyes, the way she laughed, the way she carried herself. I enjoyed watching her when she slept more than anything. She always looked like an angel...so peaceful and calm. I couldn't get enough of watching her, couldn't get enough of those weird feelings I had when I did. And the more I watched her, the more possessive I felt. She was mine; mine to protect, mine to make happy, mine to love," he met his brothers eyes. "But watching was never enough. How long are you going to just stand by and watch?" 

Again, Sesshoumaru said nothing. He stared at Inuyasha for many moments before he shifted and walked past his brother and away from Rin. 

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_ Begin Dream   
Red. Everything was red. Her small home was engulfed in hot red flames, the boards of wood cracking, the entire thing burning. Her parents and her brother were covered in hot red blood, their spirits cracking as death took them, their souls screaming in pain. She watched, hidden high up in a tree, in horror and in silence. Her heart beat roughly against her chest and her head echoed with the faint sound of barking. _

Then she was running. Running as fast as she could as the barking became louder and distinct. Behind her darkness blacker than the darkest night threatened to consume her, ahead of her a light bright enough to blind her offered to save her. She saw someone's face there, saw that it was strong and knew she would be safe with it. She ordered her little legs to go faster but they revolted and instead caused her to fall. Darkness consumed her and welcomed the wolves to feast upon her body. 

But then there was a brilliant flash of white light. The wolves fled and the light transformed before her eyes. A gigantic white dog formed and stood before her, its mouth dripping with saliva, its eyes blood red. It's barking nearly made her ears bleed. She stood there, frozen and unable to move as it charged at her. Her light, her salvation, would kill her and she would not deny her fate. If she were to die here and in this way, then so be it. 

No,_ her body protested. She was suddenly on her feet and running. She escaped and hid in a tiny dark cave, hid there until her tiny frame grew to large to fit. When she stepped out she found that her legs and arms were longer. Her hair fell to the backs of her knees and she wore a beautiful piece of armor. For a brief moment she was happy but then it ended all to soon. The white dog returned and though it made no attempt to harm her, she ran away. _

"Rin," it called to her. 

She kept running, afraid to stop and listen to what it had do say. 

"Rin," it whispered in her ear. 

She found herself captured, wrapped in its arms, held firmly so she could not escape. She squirmed, determined to escape, determined not to look in those gorgeous golden eyes. She was trembling, frightened by him, by Sesshoumaru, by how he could change everything and make it better. 

"Rin," he said firmly this time. "I care, I always have and I always will. You know_ that. I care about you, human or not, I care. You belong with me, only with me." _

"No!"   
End Dream 

"Don't you think you should wake her?" Inuyasha's eyes diverted away from Rin to meet Sesshoumaru's. 

"No." Sesshoumaru stared at the thrashing girl, inhaled the scent of her sweat and fear, and listened to the rapid beat of her heart. 

"Nani?" Inuyasha asked incredulously. "It seems like a pretty rough nightmare. Why let her suffer more?" 

"It is for her to deal with. She has had this dream since she was a child," he said it as though it were common knowledge. 

"How can you tell?" Inuyasha asked quietly. He knew what it was like to be plagued, night after night, by the same nightmare. 

"I know the change in the scent of her fear, of the speed of her heartbeat. It is the same as it always has been. Though it is longer this time, as if another fear has manifested itself in her dreams." _What new form of torture have you brought upon yourself Rin?_, Sesshoumaru wondered. 

Inuyasha shook his head. "Do you know what it is about?" 

"From what little she has revealed, she relives her family's and her own death. The rest this Sesshoumaru is unsure of. But since it has gotten longer while she has been in my presence, I can assume it involves me," he added grimly. 

Inuyasha was about to speak when Rin sat up quickly and screamed at the top of her lungs. Both he and Sesshoumaru stared at her, surprised by her outburst. 

"It was your dream again," Sesshoumaru said, knowing it was unnecessary to ask. 

Rin sighed, hating that he had not forgotten such information. "Hai," she told him weakly. 

She laid back down, trying to calm her trembling body and force herself to go back to sleep. She squeezed her eyes closed when she heard the soft padding of boots upon the ground. The ruffling she heard coming towards her settled down a short distance behind her. She bit her lip, fighting back the tears, fighting the urge to reach out to him. To Sesshoumaru. Despite herself, she found comfort in his close presence and soon fell asleep. 

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"You must be happy to go home Kagome. Please forgive me for all the trouble I have caused." 

Rin walked beside Kagome and looked ahead at Ichigo's home. She was glad, for some strange reason, that Kagome would be accompanying her. She was reluctant to see Ichigo again, especially when she had been much more emotional than she had been in several years. But with Kagome joining her, she felt she could get through it. 

"Yes, I am happy to go home, and all is forgiven. I'm actually glad for this little adventure. Inuyasha has changed and he is actually somewhat closer to Sesshoumaru. I hate when those two fight." 

Rin nodded, not knowing what to say to that. "Will you tell Sango and Miroku I said hello when you see them?" 

"Hai. Of course." 

Rin paused a few feet away from the house, sensing something was off. "Something isn't right." 

"What do you mean?" Kagome looked around, only slightly curious as to why it was so quiet. 

Rin looked around and quickly tied the horses' reins to a pole just outside the house. She walked in to find Ichigo and Tadaki tightly bound with rope. 

"Ichigo!" She rushed to him quickly and immediately began to untie him. "What happened!? Kagome, please untie Tadaki-sama!" 

"We were working in the fields and something came out of the forest. Before we could do anything, even look at it, it knocked both of us unconscious. We woke up here like this. There was a fox-youkai, he said he was after the swords," Ichigo added quietly. 

Rin's hands fumbled many times and she fought the tears from falling down her face. "Do you understand now, Ichigo, why I couldn't be with you!? I knew something like this would happen. I _knew_ eventually all of you might get hurt because of me. Don't you see!? Trouble follows me. I cannot avoid it and someone _always_ gets hurt in the end. I told you to just leave me alone, you wouldn't listen. Why didn't you listen!?" 

"Don't be silly Rin. Don't cry," Ichigo pleaded, surprised to see the strong woman acting so panicky. "This is not your fault." 

"It _is_ my fault. In order to get to me, they used you and your family. Where _is_ Saori-sama?" Rin looked around nervously. _Why would this damn rope not come undone!_

"I don't know, they weren't here when we woke up. They aren't after you Rin, they are after the swords." Ichigo tried to calm her by remaining calm himself. 

"They are! They intend to hold me captive in exchange for the swords. And if I hadn't stolen those damn swords in the first place this would not have happened." Frustrated, Rin took out her sword and cut the rope before doing the same for Tadaki. 

Tadaki rose to his feet and thanked Kagome for trying to help. "Then you should leave. Do not let them capture you," he urged when he turned to Rin. 

"No. They must have Saori-sama and the girls. In their place, I will gladly go with those youkai." 

"That is good to hear as I would hate to have to harm you in order to capture you." The fox youkai they had seen earlier that week stepped through the doorway, pushing Saori and her daughters in ahead of him. 

Rin narrowed her eyes and slowly stood to her feet, immediately becoming calm in the face of an enemy. "You. If I'd known you would be a nuisance, I would have taken care of you long ago." 

"No need for useless threats," the fox youkai grinned. "Why don't you and your little friend come along, we have quite a way to go." 

"Under one condition," Rin stated clearly, all emotion absent from her voice. 

"Which would be?" He asked curiously. 

"You and your friends are to leave here at once and never return to bother the people in this village, especially this family. If you can grant me that, I will go with out so much as a squeak." 

"And if I cannot grant such a request?" He tilted his head to the side. 

A smile spread across Rin's lips slowly. "Surely you do not think I carry this sword and wear this amour to look pretty? You may take me, but you will _not_ take me unharmed." 

"Like I said, I would hate to have to harm you. I will allow it. Let's go. Both of you." 

Ichigo grabbed Rin's hand as she started forward. "Rin, please. You shouldn't do this. You shouldn't trust them." 

"I have no choice and no worry, Ichigo. Sesshoumaru will come for me, he always does." 

With that said, she and Kagome disappeared with the fox youkai and the many friends he had lurking around the village. 

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I apologize for the errors in the last chapter (and the ones you might find in this one). Sometimes you just don't see them after proofreading three or four times.   
So, things are boiling down. Sesshoumaru is acting unlike himself, Rin is acting more like herself. We finally learn about her reoccurring dream (see chapter 4). Now to mess things up even more, we've got a kidnapping on our hands. Now for those of you who think Sess is out of character...well, deal with it. He cares about Rin _a lot_, more than he fully realizes or will allow himself to realize. Since feeling anything for a human female is unlike him, his behavior will naturally be out of character. I will, however, keep him in character as much as possible. I also hope that people see that Rin is not perfect, she only pretends to be. She is strong, yes, but anyone who spends most of their life traveling with Sesshoumaru _can't_ be weak. She is quite the emotional little girl she has always been who now, instead of hoping for a happy future, denies the idea that she can ever be happy.   
Anyway, I believe this story will conclude in about four chapters. That is my goal, 18 chapters. But we'll see how that goes. I've decided I want to do a sequel but it might not be posted for a very long time. I am going to start taking four classes per quarter from now on and I really don't think I will have too much time to write. My plan is to get the bulk of the sequel finished this summer and complete it as I have time. When I do release it here it will be completely finished.   
Rabid Anime Gurl 


	15. The Present: Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 15_

"These fox youkai are nothing like Shippou. We shouldn't have come. I should have called for Inuyasha." 

Kagome fixed her kimono and tried to tame her hair, wishing she had shot the youkai with an arrow when she had the chance. But Rin had become so calm so quickly and oddly enough, that kept her from panicking and doing something reckless. Apparently Rin knew all to well how to handle herself in a hostage situation. 

They had carried her and Rin to their underground den, moving at an incredible speed. She had not known they could move so fast and she certainly did not know they lived in a pack like Kouga. She wasn't really sure how far they had traveled but she hoped it wasn't to far from Inuyasha. She wanted him to come for her as quickly as possible. 

"These fox youkai are much more wild than him, I'm sure," Rin eyed the one who had carried her, warning him against any ideas she was sure he had formed. "They have probably come from much rougher territories where they had to join together in order to survive. They are, therefore, much more despicable and ruthless." 

"Now, now. That is not a very nice thing to say about captors. If you talk like that, what is to stop us from hurting you?" Masao asked as he stripped Rin of her weapon and tied her hands together. 

"If you knew who you were dealing with you would not put your hands on me at all," Rin glanced at the youkai who had given her so much trouble every time she went to check on the swords. 

"Is that another one of your silly threats?" Masao grinned as he asked the question. "Tell me then, who are we dealing with?" 

"Have you heard of the great taiyoukai that ruled the Western Lands many years ago? Those swords were made from his fangs." 

Masao arched his eyebrow. "I've heard rumors of him. But do you speak of the truth?" 

"What reason do I have to lie? You yourself could sense how powerful those swords are. Now you know the source of that power. There _is_ a problem however..." she trailed off. 

"And that is?" 

"Those swords were given to his two sons. And those sons are currently on their way here." 

"Now you are lying. Why would the sons of such a great youkai lord keep the company of humans? You," he pointed to Kagome. "Are that hanyou's mate. That much I can smell. But what of you, my little vixen. Why did they let you live after you have hidden their swords for so long?" 

"They have their reasons, none of which are any of your business. What I have told you is true and if you are smart, you will let us go if you value your lives," she met his eyes then, careful to look deathly serious. 

Masao smiled. "Why don't you and your friend have a seat? You should relax before your friends get here." He turned and walked away. 

Rin sat, arms and legs crossed, and pressed her back against the wall of the den. She eyed the two guards Masao had left and set her mind to work. 

Kagome joined her and sent her a nervous look. "What are you thinking Rin? You look entirely too much like Sesshoumaru with that evil look in your eyes. You're not going to do something reckless are you?" 

When the guards turned to look at them, Rin smiled as sweetly as possible. "Of course not," then she nodded yes when they turned away. "I will wait patiently for Sesshoumaru-sama to come for me and destroy them." she said loudly enough for their guards to hear. 

"Sesshoumaru...sama?" Kagome leaned closer to whisper to Rin. "What is with the change of attitude toward Sesshoumaru? Have you realized that he really does care for you?" 

Rin looked away, hiding her hurt expression. "He will come for me regardless of whether he cares or not. They have insulted his honor and his pride by using me to get to him. He's never liked when people have done so and for crossing him, they will pay." 

"Still, that doesn't mean he doesn't care. Inuyasha was right, you know. Sesshoumaru hasn't come for Tetsusaiga in a long time. I don't think he meant what you think he did," when Rin said nothing, Kagome continued. "Did you ever consider that he was only admitting that he cared about you when he said what he did?" 

Rin looked at Kagome. "What do you mean?" 

"Well, in order to use Tetsusaiga, you have to care a great deal for humans. It was created to protect humans and since Sesshoumaru doesn't really care for them, Tetsusaiga's barrier rejects him. But now he says he can get past the barrier. I think when he said 'Because I kept Rin around, I can use Tetsusaiga' he really meant 'I care about Rin, I can use Tetsusaiga.' What do you think? You know Sesshoumaru better than anyone. He isn't a very emotional person and I am sure that like Inuyasha, he is quite reluctant to openly voice his feelings. They both have their own ways of showing they care. Ways that are different from what we would expect." 

Rin stared at her lap, unable to respond. It would explain quite a few things, she realized. He _had_ always come for her when she was kidnapped and he _had_ protected her, even now. Tenseiga had protected her for him. How could she deny he cared? She had not been able to do so when she was a child, even though Jaken told her otherwise, and though she had denied it quite recently, she could no longer do so. He cared, he always did, he had said in her dream. How could she face him again after she had run away so foolishly? Her behavior implied that she was ungrateful and unappreciative of all the things he had done for her. She did not deserve anything from him, not even his forgiveness. 

_"You belong with me, only with me."_ No. She didn't even deserve that much. 

"Don't be sad, Rin. That is your name right? I am sure your youkai friend will be here shortly. But if he refuses to hand over his sword in exchange for you, well, then you may have something to be sad about." 

Rin lifted her head and stared at the new fox youkai standing beside Masao. Her eyes quickly went hard and dangerous. "Oh I am not worried about that. I am simply sad for your families. I am sure it will be hard for them to lose their father or brother." 

The new man grinned. "Masao told me you have quite the mouth. Bring her to me," he gestured to one of the guards. "He may have no choice but to tolerate it, but I, on the other hand, do not." 

Rin stood before the man, head held high and defiantly. "Oh? Are you someone important?" She did her best to look unimpressed. 

"I am Seiji, leader of this pack of fox youkai." 

"Ah, so you are the weakling who ordered his men to retrieve the swords. It explains why they failed so miserably." 

She had expected the slap and therefore the force from it only made her head turn. She looked back up at him, defiance still in her eyes. 

"Watch your mouth, wench," Seiji said simply. "Tell me more of the great lord of the Western Lands and his two sons." 

"Lord Sesshoumaru and Lord Inuyasha, sons of the great inu-taiyoukai who once ruled the Western Lands. What more do you need to know before they come to destroy you?" 

"How is it that you know all of this? All three of them are before your time. They could simply be lying about their lineage," Seiji suggested. 

"First you insult them by attempting to use us as bait for their swords and now you call them liars? Your death will surely come swiftly. They will not hand over the swords to the likes of you. You're wasting your time _and_ throwing away your life." 

Seiji narrowed his eyes and reached out to grab Rin's throat. "You are lying. Simply making up stories in order to place some sort of value on your worthless life. I am sure you are nothing to those youkai as I am sure your story is not the truth." 

"Oh no, I'm telling the hard truth. You _are_ going to die. Especially if you continue to harm me. My lord will not be pleased." 

He slapped her again and this time she fell. "Put her back on her feet and wait here until you receive a signal to bring them to the surface. From all the noise outside we can assume her _lord_ is drawing near. Come Masao, we must prepare." 

Rin refused their assistance and rose to her feet on her own. She sat next to Kagome and wiped the small trace of blood from her lip. "Baka." 

"You are quite brave Rin, standing up to him like that," Kagome said quietly. 

"I must be strong. If I am strong, Sesshoumaru-sama will not worry about my safety. If he does not have to worry about my safety, he can fight with ease. I am sure it is the same with Inuyasha. If he smells your fear, he will worry and might do something drastic and endanger himself." 

"I never thought of it that way. I am sure you must have had to be very strong while traveling with Sesshoumaru." 

"Hai, strong and clever." She watched as hundreds of fox youkai exited a small tunnel and made their way to the surface. She quickly decided what she would do. 

"On your feet, wenches," one of the guards ordered. "Your precious youkai lords will be here very shortly." 

Rin winked at Kagome as she got to her feet and turned to the guards. "May I..." she hesitated and then continued when they gestured to her. "May I have a moment to relieve myself?" She squirmed for emphasis. 

The guards looked at each other and nodded. One grabbed her arm and led her to a small crevice in the wall. "Hurry up." 

"Hai," she quickly slipped inside. 

Masao appeared at the den entrance and anxiously looked around for his missing hostage. "What the hell are you doing? Where is the other girl?" 

One guard jumped and looked up at Masao. "She had to relieve herself." 

"We don't have time for that, she will simply have to wait. Get them up here **now**," he yelled angrily. 

"Hai, Masao. I apologize." 

He went to retrieve Rin and immediately stumbled back when her scream and un-lady like curses pierced the air. 

Masao growled. "Just tell her to hurry!" He disappeared from the entrance. 

"Hey!" Rin cried. "I can't get up. Can you give me a hand?" 

The guard went to her slowly, hoping she would not scream again. But she made no sound and suddenly it became very quiet inside the den. The other guard stared at his partner's back, wondering why he was not allowing the girl to exit. When the scent of blood reached his noise, he quickly rushed forward and drew his sword. His partner stepped backwards and fell atop him. His sword clattered as it hit the ground beside him, he cried out in pain as his partner's sword pierced through his chest. 

Rin pulled the sword from the first guard and wiped it clean. 

"Rin! What...what are you doing? How did you get that sword?" Kagome rushed forward, diverting her eyes away from the fallen youkai. 

Rin quickly cut through the rope that bonded Kagome's hands together. "Sango always said to keep a second sword." She bent down, lifted her kimono, and placed the blade back in the sheath attached to her leg. "We should hurry." She grabbed Kagome's hand and quickly darted for the tunnel she had seen the many youkai leave from earlier. 

"Should we be going down here? What if there is no way to get out? We should stay as close to Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru as possible." Kagome asked, trying to talk some sense into the young girl. 

"No, it is more important that we do not distract them. It appears that everyone is going to the surface to fight. By the time they realize we have escaped, it will be to late for them." 

They turned when they heard Seiji bellow out an angry order. "Or not. Looks like they have caught on. Let's keep going." 

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"Keh, cowards! Where are you going!" Inuyasha called out as the fox youkai retreated before the fight began. 

"Do you use your ears Inuyasha? Rin and Kagome have escaped. They cannot make demands without hostages." Sesshoumaru withdrew Toukijin and rushed forward. 

Inuyasha followed suit and unsheathed Tetsusaiga. "Better take care of them before they catch Kagome again." _I'm coming, my mate._ He quickly followed after his brother. 

They made their way into the den, following the fox youkai deeper underground. Some stopped to fight, others continued to flee. Though Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were out numbered by at least three hundred, the fox youkai were no match for them in such a small space. True they were quick on their feet, but the long tunnel was to narrow for them to dodge the inu-youkai's attacks. By the time they reached the end of the tunnel, the number of fox youkai had diminished greatly. 

The tunnel opened up to the top of what appeared to be a hollow mountain. What remained of the fox youkai forces were here, running around looking for more weapons, looking for their leader to tell them what to do, looking for the hostages. None of them paid attention to the two inu-youkai that watched them from above. But soon, everyone's attention fell on Seiji as he rounded on the two cornered hostages. 

"You stupid wench!" Seiji shoved Kagome to the ground and pushed Rin against the wall. "And **you**! I should have known _you_ would be trouble. Fuck your precious lord and those swords. Killing you will give me much greater pleasure." 

He slapped Rin with the back of his fist, knocking her to the side. She tripped over Kagome and fell awkwardly on her leg, crying out in pain. Pleased, he towered over her and withdrew his sword, a mischievous grin on his face. 

"Tenseiga," Sesshoumaru said lowly, his voice harsh and angry. 

The blade pulsed and quickly flew from Sesshoumaru's side. There was a flash of white light as Seiji's sword collided with the swords barrier. Rin grabbed the sword as the barrier disappeared and held it closely. She edged closer to Kagome as Seiji made another attempt to strike her, only to be stopped by the barrier once again. Rin looked at him with fire in her eyes. 

"This sword, it is Tenseiga, one of the swords you were after. And that man," Rin looked up at Sesshoumaru. "is my Lord Sesshoumaru. As you can see, he doesn't look very happy." 

Seiji looked up and stared at the two inu-youkai. He set his jaw and glared. "Kill them!" He ordered. 

"No one escapes," Sesshoumaru said as he looked over at Inuyasha. 

Inuyasha took a step back, disturbed by the tint of red in Sesshoumaru's eyes. "You should calm down. I want to hurt him as much as you do but there is no reason to lose yourself to that desire." 

"**No one**." 

Sesshoumaru jumped from the ledge, landing just a few feet in front of Seiji. As he walked forward, the fox youkai eagerly stepped aside, frightened by the angry inu-youkai. He did not bother to even spare them a glance. He kept his eyes locked on Seiji, feeding off the fear he smelt. A small smile graced his lips as he quickly withdrew Toukijin and blasted a hole beside Rin. 

"Rin." Sesshoumaru looked at her and met her eyes. "Go." 

Rin could only stare. He was angry. The last time she had seen him so angry was when she had followed him during his fight with the bat youkai. He had transformed to frighten her away, to keep her out of harms way. Was he so angry that he would transform again in order defeat those who had kidnapped her? 

"**Go**." 

She jumped and quickly snapped out of her trance. She winced as she tried to get to her feet, realizing only now that she had twisted her ankle. But with Kagome's help, she was soon limping through the hole Sesshoumaru had created, Tenseiga held closely against her chest. She turned slowly to look at Sesshoumaru, found that he was looking at her. Their eyes met, her heart sank, he swung Toukijin once more. The wall crumbled and blocked the path back into the mountain. 

Kagome and Rin sat together, ignoring the screams and explosions just beyond the mountain, and waited patiently. 

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This story is and isn't a Rin/Sess romance. It is because Sesshoumaru is developing feelings for her. But on the other hand it isn't because Rin doesn't have nor is she developing feelings for Sesshoumaru. While her attitude towards him is changing, it will not change enough to get them together. To develop those feelings would not fit with the stories theme: not so nice things said in the past and present, finding out why those things were said. In the past Sesshoumaru said not so nice things, in the present Rin says not to nice things. In the process of finding out why Sesshoumaru said what he did, he develops deeper feelings for her. But in the process of finding out why Rin says what she does, she learns that she doesn't really hate him. So that is why I have been so reluctant to do the complete romance in this one story. Right now everything is really one-sided. 

Anyway. Thanks so much for the reviews! I really hope to finish this story for everyone very soon. I hope it you all will continue to be pleased with it up until the end!   
Rabid Anime Gurl 


	16. The Present: Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 16_

"You don't have to carry me," Rin said quietly, trying not to allow her voice to reveal that she was nervous. 

Sesshoumaru ignored the woman in his arms as best he could. She was surprisingly light, her hair was as soft as he thought it would be, and there was the slightest blush on her face. It only annoyed him more. Her cheek was slightly bruised from being struck--more than once he was sure. He was still angry that the fox youkai had dared to put his hands on her. That was the main reason he was annoyed. Now he had to carry her and he found he did not mind _at all_. That also added to his annoyance. If only Jaken were around to pummel into the ground. 

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin sighed when he continued to ignore her. "Where are we going?" 

When he didn't answer her again, Rin began to pout. She was suddenly reminded of all the questions he had left unanswered when she was a child. 

"Stop pouting," Sesshoumaru demanded. _I find it annoyingly attractive._ "I am taking you to your home." 

_Home_, Rin thought to herself. To her quaint and quiet little cavern. She realized suddenly that she did not want to go back, that she did not want to be alone again. Kagome had been so caring and so much like a sister or a close friend. Inuyasha had been..well, Inuyasha she supposed. And Sesshoumaru. She couldn't help but sigh. He had proved that he cared about her the same as he always had, if not more considering he could use Tenseiga. _Speaking of Tenseiga..._

"Why don't you just heal my ankle with Tenseiga?" Rin asked meekly. 

Sesshoumaru stopped abruptly, banking the desire to drop her. He was frustrated with the foolish emotions he could not rid himself of. Annoyed by the way they tore at him and confused him. Angered that he wasn't sure if he could let her leave his side again. And still she persisted in adding to all that by _questioning_ **him** and squirming and pouting. He needed time to think and her mere existence distracted him from any coherent thought. 

He ignored her question and started walking again. 

Rin sighed and held her head back. She stared up at the stars and resumed her thoughts. What would she do? Could she really go back to living alone now that she knew that she shouldn't have left in the first place? She would tell herself each day that she could have had happiness, a family, protection, and who knows what else. And she would wonder if she could still have it, but she would be afraid to ask for it. She no longer deserved those things from Sesshoumaru. She had never deserved them in the beginning. He had given her a new life, raised her, dressed her, protected her, rescued her. He owed her nothing. 

How could she had ever have thought that he did not care for her? 

_Because you're stupid,_ she told herself. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ It echoed in her head until she drifted off to sleep. 

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_"I enjoyed watching her when she slept more than anything. She always looked like an angel...so peaceful and calm."_

Sesshoumaru felt foolish. It was nearly dawn and he was still staring at Rin. Had he not already reached the conclusion that he was not capable of coherent thought while she was around? He should have left to be alone with his own thoughts hours ago. Yet he had sat there, staring the entire time, feeling just as peaceful and calm as she looked. 

He had been unable to decide what he would do about her. The only thing that _was_ clear was the fact that today would be the day he left. He simply couldn't decide if it would be with or without Rin. 

What would happen, he asked himself now, if she went with him? Would this strange attraction he felt finally become clearer to him? He still could not decide if it was purely lust or simply curiosity. Would she be able to put her hate for him behind her? Would he dedicate the rest of his life to protecting her and making her happy and l- 

His mind went blank. What had he been about to say? He could not remember. 

And what would happen if he left without her? He would no longer find himself wondering where she was or how she was doing. He would no longer ask himself _why_ she had run off. Would he feel as though he were missing something as he felt at that moment? Would he be able to forget her laugh or smile, the way she pushed him out of character, or her sleeping face? 

Which of the two would cause him less pain? And why did he feel that there would be pain involved in either one? No one caused this Sesshoumaru pain. 

He was being stupid. He was being childish. Had he not promised himself that he would never allow himself to indulge in foolish emotions? Had he not promised himself that he would never allow such foolish emotions to change him? He did not need emotions, he had learned to live without them and had become stronger because of it. His enemies found him to be cold and heartless, ruthless and cruel. But as a result he had become calculating and wise, powerful and feared. 

And so it was clear what he must do, what choice he must make. 

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Rin awoke early the following morning. She sat up slowly, feeling strangely energized, and swept her eyes across the cavern. When her eyes drifted over Kagome, she quickly recalled last night's events. 

She was glad Sesshoumaru was not there to see her nervous blush. 

She wondered only briefly where he and Inuyasha had gone before she called to Kagome. The woman paused from making breakfast and eagerly came to check on Rin's ankle. Once she found that she was able to walk again, both women put breakfast on hold and left for the river to take a bath. 

"Where do you think Sesshoumaru-sama and Inuyasha have disappeared to?" Rin asked as she quickly dressed herself in her favorite purple kimono. 

"I'm not sure. When I opened my eyes this morning, I saw them leaving. Inuyasha timed it that way, I think. They'll be back eventually," Kagome offered with a smile. 

Rin merely shrugged. "I'm sure they will. Besides, this is typical Sesshoumaru-sama behavior." 

Kagome's eyes widened slightly. "Did he often leave you alone without telling you where he went?" 

"Well, not alone." Rin tied her red obi tightly and smoothed out her kimono. "Jaken-sama and Ah Un were there. But there were countless times when we would wake and he would be gone. He always came back though." 

"You know Rin, this is the first time I have heard you speak with such happiness in your voice," Kagome pointed out. "Will you go back to traveling with Sesshoumaru since he seems to make you so happy?" 

"I was a child then. Any amount of attention was capable of making me happy," she offered as she sat on a rock and began to braid her hair. "Those times were good, but now they are over. Sesshoumaru-sama and I will part ways once again, but this time it will be on much friendlier terms." 

As if summoned by its master's name, Tenseiga zipped across the sky and hovered just inches in front of Rin. It pulsed once, its edges glowing with white, before it began to fall to the ground. Rin reached out quickly and grabbed it before it clattered against the earth. She held it in both her hands and looked up curiously for any signs of Sesshoumaru. 

"Seems to me Sesshoumaru thinks differently," Kagome said with a small laugh. "Perhaps he isn't so anxious for you two to separate." 

"No, that can't be it. Sesshoumaru-sama has always hinted about going our separate ways. I'm sure he was pleased that I saved him the trouble by leaving on my own." 

"How old are you Rin?" Kagome asked as she approached Rin. 

"I will be turning nineteen soon. Why?" She stared curiously. 

"Because for someone so smart and mature, you act so silly," she stated as she knelt before Rin. "Sesshoumaru really cares about you and you are unhappy being alone. Why suffer when you could be with him? He would protect you so nothing bad would happen like you say it always does. You can see your friends again. You can have those good days again. Why don't you just go back with him?" 

Rin shook her head. "When we were at the fox den, you said that I am the only person who knows Sesshoumaru well," she said sadly. "More or less, you are right. And because I know him, I know going back with him isn't an option for either of us." 

She rose to her feet and hung Tenseiga at her side. "We should go back. He might have sent Tenseiga because we came here unattended." 

Kagome watched Rin as she walked away, her heart breaking for girl and the inu-youkai who were too stubborn to see they needed each other. 

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Rin and Kagome were packing food for Kagome's trip to the exterminator village when the inu-youkai brothers returned. They were surprised to see that both brothers had their fair share of bloody cuts and scrapes. Inuyasha limped and held his side, and quickly collapsed beside his mate. Sesshoumaru merely stood off to the side with his arms crossed, looking completely unaffected. 

"Inuyasha! What happened to you?" Kagome immediately began checking Inuyasha's wounds. "Daijoubu?" 

"Hai, I'm fine. Sesshoumaru and I were just sparring," Inuyasha offered, trying to calm the panic in Kagome's voice. 

But instead of pacifying her, she became angrier. She glared at Sesshoumaru and then at Inuyasha before getting her survival kit. "Sparring? It looks as though you were trying to kill each other! How could you go out and willingly get hurt! We were supposed to leave today, now we can't go anywhere while you are in this condition." 

"Keh, these wounds are nothing! We are going to leave as planned so don't argue with me," he added just as her mouth opened. 

Rin stared at Sesshoumaru, unable to remember a time when he had visible wounds other than when she had stumbled across him. "Are you alright, Sesshoumaru-sama? Maybe you could use some bandages like Inuyasha?" 

"That is unnecessary." 

"But what if your wounds get infected?" she asked as she stepped forward. 

"My wounds are nothing compared to Inuyasha's. I am fine." 

"Fine? What fine?" Rin asked angrily, her instincts telling her otherwise. 

She reached forward without warning and yanked the sleeve of his haori down his arm. A long, deep gash extended from his mid-arm to his shoulder. She stared at it in surprise, feeling woozy at the sight of his dark red blood. She had not seen so much blood since...since... 

Sesshoumaru hissed in pain and quickly grabbed Rin's hand. He spun her away from him and turned on her with a snarl, fully prepared to snap at her or simply snap her arm. But when he caught sight of her concerned look, he fought to remain calm and dropped her hand. 

"You call that fine?" Rin asked quietly, watching as Sesshoumaru gently fixed his haori. "Why don't you let me put some bandages on that?" 

"Keep your hands to yourself, woman. If you wish to assist me then hand me Tenseiga," he suggested to her. 

"Oh, hai. I had forgotten." She reached down and placed her hand on Tenseiga's hilt. She pulled the blade halfway out before stopping to look up. "Why did you order Tenseiga to me? If you were fighting with Inuyasha, you could not have known where we went." 

"Because we can't have a fair fight if Sesshoumaru's got a sword that will heal him every time he gets a tiny scratch," Inuyasha explained with a mocking tone. "But he couldn't ditch just anywhere. Naturally you came to mind, but neither of us thought Tenseiga would reach you." 

Feeling dejected, Rin looked down at the blade. "I see. Another test." She held Tenseiga out for Sesshoumaru. 

Sesshoumaru glared at his brother for causing Rin to look so pained. "This Sesshoumaru sent Tenseiga to you because you are the only one he can entrust it to. And yes, it was another test. A test that would reveal if I could protect one who is far away." 

He reached out and grabbed Tenseiga, immediately feeling its healing powers travel through his body. He placed the blade back at his side and turned to meet Rin's eyes. Slightly taken aback by her sudden smile, he distracted himself by smoothing his haori. 

"You heal yourself, Sesshoumaru-sama. But what of my ankle?" Rin asked softly, feeling a strange sense of happiness wash over her. 

"He tried that," Inuyasha interrupted, enjoying the rise he was getting out of his brother. "When you were sleeping. He hasn't mastered the technique yet." 

It took all of Sesshoumaru's effort not to laugh when Kagome tightened Inuyasha's bandages enough to make him squeal. "This is also true and since you are not healed, you should not be walking." 

"If I cannot worry about your wounds, you may not worry about mine," she told him with a smile. "Besides, Kagome informed me that my ankle is much better than it was yesterday. I am capable of walking." 

"Limping is not the same of walking." 

Rin smiled and turned to finish packing Kagome's lunch. "It is today." 

Sesshoumaru watched the young woman, remembering the picture Inuyasha's friend had shown them. The outfit she wore now was the same from the picture, but that was the only existing similarity. The woman in the picture had been unhappy, disrespectful, and had quite the biting tongue. But in a matter of days she had undergone a dramatic change. This Rin was becoming friendlier and happier with each passing day. Her actions and speech were still quite bold, but he noticed she made no effort to be disrespectful. And she was even calling him "Sesshoumaru-sama" again. 

Did his _feelings_ for her really mean so much to Rin? 

Yes, he realized, they did. Humans were such emotional creatures, and females were incredibly more emotional than the average human. They offered so many emotions and therefore demanded them in return. 

Rin had been able to suffice with the lack of emotion he showed until she began to mature into a young woman. She would be needy of very things he would not give. He could protect and clothe her, the things most necessary to life. So why wasn't that enough? 

Sesshoumaru turned away when Rin laughed. It did not matter any longer. Youkai and humans live differently, they traveled different paths. This would be the last time he and Rin's paths would cross. After today, he would never see her again. 

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Sorry for the late update. Between packing and moving out, the looooong drive from Riverside to Sacramento, getting settled in, and resting, I haven't had much time to write. And the sad thing is, this chapter was finished like last week except for Sesshoumaru's part at the end. But have no fear, even though I haven't started working on the last two chapters, I already know exactly how I want it to end. I tend to think of the BEGINNING and END of the story before I actually start to write and then just build up the middle. Hopefully I'll get those done really soon. 

Obviously Rin is sick. The question is HOW and WHY. Next chapter you'll find out. It will essentially change EVERYTHING. Man I love twists... 

Thanks so much for the reviews everyone! I think I might actually break 100 for this one.   
Rabid Anime Gurl 


	17. The Present: Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 17_

Rin straightened her kimono as she climbed onto the bridge. She felt nervous and anxious as she walked to where Kagome was waiting. Something deep inside her heart encouraged her to follow after Sesshoumaru, to simply ask to go with him. She wished he would ask her to go with him. 

But such foolishness would never happen. Human and youkai live differently he had said to her just days before she had disappeared. But that was not entirely true. Humans and _Sesshoumaru_ lived differently. Though he may encounter them briefly, Sesshoumaru was not the type to continue prolonged interaction with them. He would avoid them at all cost. 

Though she did not understand why he had allowed her to travel with him for so many years, she did understand that her time with him was over. When she had left, she had accepted that her desire to stay with him was nothing more than childish dreams. But now that she had seen him again, those dreams seemed to come back to life. She desperately wanted to be with him forever. 

But Sesshoumaru wanted something else. Despite her feelings, Rin could not help but put his desires first. He wanted to go back to being alone, back to his human-less life. It was who he was. She did not have it in her to ask him to change, especially when she liked him the way he was. 

So this was it. Her final goodbye to Sesshoumaru. 

Kagome reached out for Rin's hands when she finally reached her. "I want you to promise me, Rin-chan, that if you need anything, **anything**," Kagome added again, remembering the blood the young woman had coughed up. "You will not hesitate to come to my village. Inuyasha and I will be there whenever you need us." 

Rin forced a smile on her face and nodded eagerly. "I promise, Kagome-chan, I will. Thank you for everything and I want to apologize again-" 

"Not necessary." Kagome smiled and looked over Rin's shoulder as Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru approached. 

"Let's go, Kagome." Inuyasha hefted Kagome's over-sized bag on one shoulder before bending to allow the woman to climb on his back. "So Rin, what are you going to do after this? Are you going to stay here? Or better yet, why don't you go settle down with Ichigo?" He added that simply to get a rise out of Sesshoumaru. 

Rin blushed as she tended to do ever since the young man had declared his feelings for her. "Humans and I live differently," she said quietly, not expecting anyone to understand. "I will stay here until I grow tired of the little cavern." 

"Keh, whatever you say," he stood to his feet. "See you around Rin, Sesshoumaru." He shot his brother a teasing smile before disappearing into the forest. 

Sesshoumaru watched his brother disappear and ignored the sting of jealousy he felt when Rin blushed. He turned his attention back to her, met her intense gaze, and struggled to find something to say. She looked so serious, so wise, and so beautiful. Could he really just leave? 

_You can, and you will. Do not let her sway you from your decision,_ a small voice told him. 

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she said quietly, glad to break the silence. "I want to apologize...for everything. For leaving so abruptly, for stealing Tenseiga, for making you come all the way out here to get it. My behavior was completely unacceptable." 

Sesshoumaru eyes softened upon hearing her simple apology. "Your actions were the result of this Sesshoumaru's words and behavior. I cannot, therefore, blame you entirely." 

Rin smiled brightly up at him. "Arigatou. For everything, Sesshoumaru-sama." 

He nodded and turned away, feeling that there was nothing more to say. "Take care of yourself Rin." 

"Hai. Sayonara, Sesshoumaru-sama." 

Rin watched as he transformed into a ball of white light. It floated up into the air and zipped across the sky. She stood there until it faded away into nothingness. Then she turned and slowly made her way back to her cavern. 

She wasn't sure if it was loneliness or something she ate, but in the next few weeks, her health took a sharp turn for the worst. 

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The Lord of the Western Lands was returning. 

Immediately upon his arrival he spent the remainder of the summer eradicating any and all foolish youkai who had settled within his boundaries without his permission. He showed no mercy. Death came quickly to all who dared oppose him. The surge of power he felt was uplifting to his spirit. He was only slightly disappointed that he disposed of them so quickly. 

_"Sugoi, Sesshoumaru-sama!!_ He imagined the childish voice was richer, more feminine and mature. _"Sugoi, Sesshoumaru-sama. You never cease to amaze me."_

He reached his estate, glad to end any activity that reminded him of Rin. The estate was relatively small compared to the homes of other lords. His father never received any pleasure from having an over-sized home. And so he had simply settled for a pair of two story traditional buildings, both surrounded by and connected with a covered veranda. 

Behind the estate stood a towering mountain. With secure protection from behind, the remainder of the estate was guarded by thick wooden gates. It was indeed a beautiful sight, complete with extensive gardens surrounding the entire estate. There were hundreds of large rocks, thousands of trees, and millions of flowers. 

Rin would have experienced tremendous joy had she ever seen this place. 

Sesshoumaru stomped across the veranda, noting any repairs that needed to be made, and passed between the buildings on his way to the servant and guard quarters. They were located deep within the mountain, living in hollowed rooms throughout the cave. Immediately upon seeing their master they quickly went to work putting the estate back in its original condition. 

Pleased, he quickly set out to locate Jaken and Ah Un. The toad youkai was no doubt anxiously waiting for his master's return while fighting thoughts of his demise. Jaken had the tendency to think the worst even though he had blind faith in this Sesshoumaru's abilities. 

He had questions of course, but Sesshoumaru had no desire to answer them. He simply did not wish to talk about Rin. So he quickly sent Jaken to deliver his message to the other lords. They would come to his estate for a meeting and discuss all he had missed. And he was certain that every lord would wish to renew his alliance with the Western Lands. Or worse yet, offer their silly daughters to him. 

Sesshoumaru was right on both accounts. 

It was late fall and only now would the demonesses stop visiting him so frequently. They never sought him out directly, but they let their presence be known. Though he was sure they were a very fair distance from his estate, he could clearly smell them. Some came while they were in heat, others spiked the air with the scent of their arousal. But now that winter was nearly upon them, their fathers would want them home, fearing that some rogue youkai would steal them away as a tasty morsel during the lonely winter months. 

He could not be happier. On rare occasions when the boredom was too much to bear, he sought the demonesses out. It was, after all, the respectful thing to do. But the pretty faces and the obvious advances did nothing to entertain him. He flirted and he teased, but it was clear to each of those women that he wanted nothing to do with them. 

And nothing, for once, included rutting. He simply had no desire in pleasuring any female he knew was only interested in him for his power and position. They were not worthy of such attention, especially when half of them were off whoring themselves to other demons. There were times when such things did not matter, but now, however, they did. And he was slowly beginning to understand why. 

Rin. 

He could not get that woman out of his mind, no matter how hard he tried. His thoughts continued to drift to the one creature that understood him, who accepted him for all that he was. She desired to be with him, not for his power or his position, but simply because she enjoyed being around him. There were no standards he had to live up to in her presence. He realized only now how free he was with her. 

But his twisted ideals and pride continued to gnaw at him. She was human and he was youkai. For so long he had believed the two should not mix. Yet, what Rin had told Inuyasha would not stop repeating itself in his head. She and humans lived differently, she had said. And he believed that humans and youkai lived differently. So if Rin did not consider herself human, did that mean they could live together? 

He was not surprised that Rin did not desire to live in a human village. She spent a mere six years living among humans before spending eight years traveling with a small band of youkai. It was only a two-year difference but at an older age, she was capable of deciding where she truly belonged. Obviously she felt it was not with her own kind. But she could live with just any youkai. 

And so she would live alone, like him, for the rest of her life. Some how it did not seem right to him. 

_No, it was not right,_ Sesshoumaru thought as he pushed himself to his feet. He was done applying his twisted ideals about humans to Rin. _She_ was nothing like them, she was, in some strange way, like _him_. That was reason enough for her to spend the rest of her days with him. There were no longer any questions to answer, save one: how deep were these strange feelings for her? 

Determined to find out, he grabbed his swords and made his way out of the estate, barking out an order for a servant to prepare the guest room. He _would_ find Rin by nightfall. 

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Inuyasha quickly raced trough the forest, his mind still replaying the last conversation with his mate, as he urgently searched for Sesshoumaru. 

_ "Kagome...what's wrong?" Inuyasha quickly went to her side, grabbing her elbows to lead her to a place to sit. _

"Things are looking so well Inuyasha," she said sadly, tears already in her eyes. "She just isn't responding to the herbs very well. And she's so tired. All she wants to do is sleep." 

He said nothing for a moment before rising to his feet. "I'm going to get Sesshoumaru, we don't have any other choice." 

Kagome merely nodded. "Hurry Inuyasha. They both deserve to see each other one last time." 

Problem was, he had no clue where to find his brother. His first thought was to go west, hoping he would find his father's land. But even he wasn't sure where that was. So he simply ran with his nose pointed in the air. 

Much to his surprise, however, his nose picked up the tell tale scent of his brother. He was moving, like him, at an incredible speed, and though Inuyasha was sure his brother could smell him, he made no attempt to stop. He was forced to catch up to him in order to get his attention. 

"Oi! Sesshoumaru! What the hell is your problem? Will you just stop for a minute." 

Sesshoumaru stopped abruptly and turned to glare at his brother. "What do you want, Inuyasha. I have some where to go." 

"Keh, you're so impatient. Why don't you stop and think about the last time I had to hunt you done. You know _I_ have no reason to see you," he added with a snarl. 

Sesshoumaru visibly stiffened. "Rin..." 

"Exactly, and I get the feeling you were headed out to go see her. You have perfect timing. Tell me, big brother, why does it take so long for us admit how important someone is to us? Is it in the blood? Or is it just male stupidity?" 

"The only stupid one here is **you**. Now, explain what your being here has to do with Rin," he demanded. 

Inuyasha crossed his arms over his chest and spoke quietly. "Are you going to find Rin? Answer me truly if you really want to hear what I have to say." 

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. "Hai." 

"You will not find Rin at the cavern nor at that boy's village," he said as he met his brother eyes. "She is at my village, staying in my home. So you see, I just saved you a lot of trouble. But.." 

"My patience is running thin, Inuyasha. But what?" Sesshoumaru barked out. "Why is Rin staying with you!?" 

Inuyasha dropped his arms at his side and turned his back to his brother. If Sesshoumaru cared about Rin as much as he thought he did, he had no interest in seeing his brother's pained look. And regardless of how tough and emotionless he was, he _would_ looked pained. 

"She's dying, Sesshoumaru. Rin is dying." 

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Yeah well...yeah. I don't really have anything to say...Most of you saw it coming. But just keep in mind that this is not the final chapter and I LOVE twists. Thanks for all the reviews and keep them coming!   
Rabid Anime Gurl 


	18. The Present: Chapter 18

**Disclaimer:** Inuyasha is Copyright of Takahashi Rumiko

**Hurtful Words: The Present**   
_Chapter 18_

Tiny flakes of snow began to drift from the sky. It was the first snow of the year and it hinted that winter was soon on its way. The clouds were fluffy and gray, hiding the sun from view. Nearly every creature alive took shelter from the growing cold. And so it was dark, gloomy _and_ surprisingly quiet. 

Sesshoumaru could not help but feel a sense of foreboding. 

He pushed his brother to the side and rushed through the door to his home. He brought his hand to his nose in an attempt to block out the offensive scent of his brother's pregnant mate and pups with their mixed blood. And something else was there but it was to faint for him to decipher it. 

"Sesshoumaru...I'm so glad Inuyasha found you so quickly," Kagome plastered a smile on her face, trying desperately not to look worried. 

"Where is she?" Sesshoumaru demanded. He made his way to the door she stood in front of. 

"Wait," Kagome ordered as she held her hand up. "Let me check if she is wake yet. She has been sleeping since Inuyasha left." 

As she slid the door open Sesshoumaru realized immediately what that strange scent was. Sickness. He could not recall smelling something so potent, so deadly, so..._sickening_. It made him stumble back and cover his nose again. 

"How...how did this happen?" He wondered aloud. 

Kagome peeked her head inside for a moment before turning to face Sesshoumaru. Some how she wasn't surprised by the emotion in his usually emotionless voice. She sat at Inuyasha's over-concerned command and turned to face Sesshoumaru, preparing herself to explain. 

"We aren't sure when Rin fell ill. Tadaki-sama brought her here about a month ago. She had spent a month with them as well before Rin told them to bring her to us. Thus far, we can only think of one cause for her sickness: the poison from that pig youkai she told us about. Though Saori-sama tried, I don't think the poison was completely removed from her body. The poison was powerful enough not to be destroyed, but there was not enough of it to spread through her and kill her. So it was, instead, contained by white blood cells. The things that fight sickness causing bacteria in humans," Kagome added when Inuyasha looked at her in confusion. 

"I went home, to my time, and did a little research. Rin has some sort of autoimmune disease. That means the body produces abnormal cells that attack the body. I think that some how the poison evolved, probably by combining with another sickness causing bacteria, and became these abnormal cells. They began to multiply and slowly ate away at her most vital organs. Not even the white blood cells could stop it. As I am sure you can imagine, this can be dangerous." 

"Why weren't we able to tell that she was sick?" Inuyasha asked. 

"Because it was essentially apart of her body. This began to happen nearly five years ago so even to your sensitive noses there was nothing odd about her body. And I think the only reason she is so sick right now is because of yet another foreign bacteria or virus. Her immune system is weak because it has spent much of its time trying and failing to destroy a different virus. Her body cannot fight the new and old virus. She has fought it thus far, but this is one battle she will not win. Perhaps if I had known sooner, or if I would have said something when I saw her cough up blood..." Kagome shook her head. "But I'm not really sure that would have made a difference." 

A tense silence filled the room. Kagome and Inuyasha stared at Sesshoumaru, put off by his stiff frame. He held his head down - something someone so proud and mighty rarely did - to keep his eyes hidden from view. Had they been able to see his hands, they would have noticed that they were clenched tightly together. He was deathly quietly, deathly still, and deathly calm. At least on the outside. 

Kagome cleared her throat. "Inuyasha, will you bring some fire wood inside? I want to make sure Rin stays warm." 

When he left, Kagome slowly rose to her feet and moved to peak in Rin's room again. Sesshoumaru sat there, continuing to stare at his lap. 

"Kagome," Inuyasha called as he stepped back into the house. "Why is our bedroom window open? Don't you know it's snowing?" 

Sesshoumaru's head flew up and he quickly rose to his feet. _Open window...?_

Inuyasha came back inside to close the window. He stopped short as he slid the door open. "Oi, Kagome. Did you bring something of Rin's in our room? It smells like she's been in here." 

Sesshoumaru snapped. The signs were there and he knew Rin well enough to know what was going on. He made his way to her room within two steps and slid the door open with enough force to make it come off track. And then he reached forward, forgetting to hold his breath, and yanked the blanket from the form underneath it. 

There was no reason to hold his breath anyway, his heart had stopped and his lungs would not function. 

Rin was gone, and some how he was not surprised that she was. All that was there was a small, rolled up futon and a small piece of paper sitting on top of it. He picked it up and immediately recognized the handwriting as hers. It was a bit shaky, as if she had encountered trouble writing it, but it was hers. He read it once. Then again and again and again, hardly believing what it said. 

_"Let's not say goodbye this way."_

Kagome peered at the letter and gasped. "How..how did this happen? I don't understand. She was _here_. I was going to make lunch for the boys and I _asked_ her if she wanted anything. That was a little over an hour after you left! She must have snuck out when I went to call for the boys..." 

"Why the hell would she leave?" Inuyasha asked, reaching his limit with the girl and all the trouble she caused. 

"She must have heard us talking about him. She didn't want Sesshoumaru to see her that way," Kagome said as she turned to look at him. "We wanted to find you before but she ordered us not to. She was so weak and pale, she _knew_ she was dying. She didn't want you to see her like that." 

Sesshoumaru backed away slowly, then turned to march out the door, his brother and Kagome eagerly following after him. He was trembling on the inside and he felt as though his legs would give any moment. This was the _second_ time she had run off without giving him the opportunity to explain himself. He felt rejected and hurt --both sensations completely new to him. Worst of all, he felt _weak_ **and** _powerless_. Was there really nothing he could do to save Rin? She herself had doubted his abilities enough to run off even though she was clearly near death. 

"No," he said out loud. _He_ would _save her_. 

He moved to the side of the house, quickly following the path Inuyasha had taken. He stood in front of the window and inhaled deeply, searching for _any_ sign of Rin. But all he could smell was fresh snow. He growled and commanded Tenseiga to go to her, believing it may be the only way he would quickly find her. 

The blade pulsed, then rattled at his side as if preparing for flight. And then just as quickly as it had begun its movement, it settled down and remained at his side. 

"Tenseiga?" He asked as he stared down at his sword. 

Sesshoumaru commanded it again, but this time it made no effort to move. The blood rushed from his head and he had to place a hand on the wall of the house in order to keep his balance. He held his other hand to his chest, willing what ever force that gripped it to loosen its hold so he could breath, so he could think. There was only one explanation for Tenseiga's inability to go to Rin. 

_**No,**_ he shouted to himself as he took off toward the forest. _Rin is **not** dead._

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He found her lying at the base of a large tree. Her hair, dusted with flakes of snow, fanned out all around her. Her face was as white as the snow that surrounded her. She wore a solid pale yellow kimono that was to big for her now that she had lost so much weight. She was as frail and weak as Kagome had suggested. Her skin deathly cold and he knew it had nothing to do with the today's temperature. 

Sesshoumaru felt that strange force grip his heart again. 

He dropped to his knees beside Rin's sleeping form as a sense of relief washed over him. It was faint, but he _could_ hear the faint beat of her heart. She was, for the time being, alive. He did not have much time to find a way to save her. There was no other choice but to try using Tenseiga again. With Rin's life force diminishing with every passing second, how could the sword locate her? He hoped that now, since it was so close, it would be able to do _something_. 

"Tenseiga," he growled as the pulled the sword from its sheath. "You _will_ do something to save this girl. **I** am your master. Now, obey!" 

The blade pulsed again. This time it floated from his hand and hovered above Rin's body. Much to his surprise a small barrier formed around her small frame. It outlined her form in a thin white light that repelled even his touch. _How,_ he wondered, _would a barrier that is meant to protect, save Rin?_

Inuyasha and Kagome appeared just as Rin's body began to shake violently. The barrier grew brighter and larger in size. Sesshoumaru tried to reach for the blade but was again repelled by the barrier. He was forced to stand to his feet as it continued to grow. The blade pulsed and sent a shockwave through Rin's body. He heard her heart skip a beat, saw the blood leak from the corners of her mouth. He could not help but feel as though he was being struck by Inuyasha's Kaze no Kizu. 

"Tenseiga! Stop this at once!" He commanded fiercely. 

Tenseiga pulsed again and the blood at the corners of Rin's mouth flew from the barrier. Her body stopped shaking and the barrier dispersed. The sword returned to its master. 

Inuyasha stared at the strange substance that began to eat a hole in the tree it collided with. "What the hell is this shit? It isn't just Rin's blood, it smells like whatever was making her sick." 

"Maybe...maybe Tenseiga was trying to protect her against whatever was making her sick," Kagome offered with hope in her voice. "Is she doing better Sesshoumaru?" 

"No," He admitted grimly. "Her heart beat has picked up slightly, but her breathing is still labored. Even with the best herbs and attention, it might be months before the damage her body has undergone is reversed. _If_ it can be reversed." 

Sesshoumaru was glad for the silence that followed his statement. There was too much going on in his head to answer any more of their useless questions. He had far more important things to figure out at this moment. Rin's fate would be decided by him or by death itself. 

Should he take the chance on these medicines? He had no way of knowing if they would work, or how long it would take for her to get better if they did. But he did know he had no interest in watching her suffer while he waited for his desired results. And what if she died? Would Tenseiga resurrect her a second time? Deep inside, a small voice told him it wouldn't. He realized he could not take either situation. He would give anything, **anything**, to save Rin from any more suffering and make her completely whole again. 

Tenseiga pulsed in his hand. 

He felt a surge of power from his sword, a power so great that it even coursed through his body. Everything around him darkened until it was too obscured for him to see. Everything except Rin. But instead of seeing the small creatures from the underworld attempting to take her soul, he was able to see into her. He was able to see the parts of her body that had been damaged by her strange sickness. 

Willing to try anything, he slashed across her once, then twice. Then he smoothly placed Tenseiga back in its sheath. Suddenly his knees buckled and he collapsed under his own weight. He braced himself with his arms just before he crushed Rin. 

Sesshoumaru turned with an instinctive snarl when Inuyasha took a step forward, his red eyes burning holes in his brother as he glared at him. He forced his mind to accept that Inuyasha was not a threat, forced himself to regain his composure as he moved to sit. But his entire body felt heavy and he had to struggle to keep his breathing even. He felt robbed of most of his energy, as if he had just finished battling a powerful opponent. He had not felt this weak since his brother nearly killed him. 

"Keh, you don't look so good Sesshoumaru. But Rin, on the other hand, seems to be making a rapid recovery," Inuyasha pointed out as he walked over to him. 

"Nani?" Kagome asked. She desperately wanted to check Rin herself but bending down to do so was out of the question with such a large belly. 

"She's been healed, Kagome. Sesshoumaru has mastered Tenseiga's healing ability." 

Kagome's face brightened with a smile. "Is that true Sesshoumaru?" 

"Hai. But apparently the act requires a portion of my youki. And the more damage to the person I heal, the more youki I must use. This Sesshoumaru now understands why the technique was so difficult to master." 

"Keh, you and I both know that is not why. You simply never had a reason to save anyone so weak. Until now that is," Inuyasha teased. "Why don't you tells us what makes Rin so special?" He knelt beside her, intending to pick her up. 

"Mind your business, hanyou. What are you doing?" He had to bite back the growl that threatened to escape past his lips. 

"I'm taking Rin back to our house. Were you planning on trying to go somewhere like _that_? You're too weak to even stand, let alone walk. She can't stay out here while you get your energy back." 

Sesshoumaru glared. "You forget who you speak of, little brother. This Sesshoumaru has no intention of staying here, nor does he have any intention of letting Rin out of his sight. Bring the girl to me. I have other methods of travel other than walking." 

"A little over-protective are we? I think I am beginning to understand what makes Rin so special," Inuyasha added with a chuckle. "You know you don't have the energy for that either. Just come for her when you are ready to make the journey." He hefted her into his arms. 

Sesshoumaru held out his own. "Do not question my abilities. Now, give me the girl." 

Inuyasha shrugged and did as he was told. "She smells...different. Almost like m-" 

"I **know**, but she is no longer your concern." And he especially did not want to discuss it. "Just trust that I will find out why." He pulled Rin tightly against him, attempting to warm her, and immediately began concentrating on focusing enough energy to use to travel. 

"Wait, Sesshoumaru," Kagome called out. "Rin, she'll be staying with you from now on right? Where are you going to take her?" 

The demon lord nodded as his power began to build. "She will live with this Sesshoumaru at his estate in the Western Lands." 

And with that, they turned into a ball of light and disappeared. 

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The end, the end, the end, the end, the end! Hope it isn't too much of a disappointment. But I've accomplished all that I wanted to. Sesshoumaru has overcome that obstacle that wouldn't allow him to completely accept Rin as an important person in his life. Sesshoumaru is still Sesshoumaru, I think, but his attitude towards Rin has changed quite a bit. But we all know he has always had a different attitude towards her or else he wouldn't have kept her around! Keeping him in character as much as possible was very important to me and I hope you all think I did good in that area. Rin has overcome her silly hate for Sesshoumaru and essentially returned to being that sweet girl who adores him, who puts him first no matter what. Take care of yourself, he said. She didn't (though it wasn't her fault), so she ran away. Sure its cowardly, but she wants to please him. I know there was a bit of confusion earlier on about Rin's character but I hope you see now who her character really is. And I'm glad that most of you are pleased with how she turned out. I am, in the end, quite pleased with this story. 

Even though it isn't quite finished. >=) 

The sequel will be 100% romance with, naturally, lots of interesting twists. But remember that Sesshoumaru hasn't really come to grips about his "true feelings" for Rin and Rin doesn't seem to have any those kind of feelings for him. And why does she _smell_ different? Mwhahaha, the story will not go how you think it will. Let your curiousity build and just be satisfied I'm doing a sequel. I originally intended to end the story with Sesshoumaru leaving with Rin and Rin not smelling different. But my heart and readers got the better of me in the end. Have patience is all I ask. I'm just as anxious to write it was you are to read it. 

I want to thank EVERYONE (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU) for the reviews and also thank the people (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU) who have me on their favorite or author alert list. Both list have become quite long. Your support means a lot to me and I really hope to become a better writer for you guys. Thanks again!   
Rabid Anime Gurl 


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